lovely together; I love you

Thursday, December 31, 2009Y

one of the worst new years eve.

:(

yeah. why?
cos its my fault.
i ruined my own New yr.
okay?

goodbye.

6:31:00 PM

POST 905 .
: happy birthday world.
you are 2010!

weee jin! :)

Geraldine&karel.

Friscilla& hidden keith .

begining of 2009.

end of 2009 :)

one of our 2009 crazie sleepovers

frm 4 became 3, now 2.

end of College b4 training.

start of college

2007 july :)

wow! so fast the yr went by.
2010.
big number man!

im planning to put my blog on unprivate for a while.
so people can see that ive been blogging for coming 4 yrs dy or was it 3 yrs?
im not sure.

2009 has been challenging.
in every aspect of my life.
i have been frm poor to rich to poor again.
ive gone frm happy to sad to depressed to happy again.
ive made friends.
ive lost alot of friends.
ive cried more then ive smiled this yr.
ive gotten sick
ALOT!
ive learnt new things.
im planning to quit some dirty habits.

yeah.
there are more but i cant think.
ive made it thru this yr..
but i wished i could've made it better.
too late for regrets now.

I welcome 2010 with an open mind and heart.
i hope it brings good luck.
no new yrs resolution.
im gonna go thru it
unplanned and spontaneous.
:)

Happy new year everyone.
i wish u all the best.

12:05:00 PM

Wednesday, December 30, 2009Y

FINALLY!
IM DONE!

NOW,
WHAT THE HELL TO DO?!

NEW YEAR IS COMING.
HOPE IT IS GOOD :X

NEW YRS EVER WHAT TO DO?

11:02:00 PM

Tuesday, December 29, 2009Y

HATE IS A STRONG WORD,
so i REALLY REALLY REALLY dont LIKE you.

YES! JONATHAN WOON FINALLY K.O'ED
:)

urgh.. mind me not.

hahahaha

i love my brother.
yeah i think :)
heee..

Im finally done!
*jump for joy*
but im kinda sad.
but happy.
no need to wake up at 6 in the morning.
ahhahahha...

so what am i to do now?
HOLIDAY!!!!

bring me somewhere other than a shopping mall thanks. :)

11:39:00 PM

Sunday, December 27, 2009Y

Big Girls don't cry.

You are so lucky .
cos you have a ton of friends to back u up when you need it.
when you are feeling sad.
when you want something.
when you want somewhere to go or do.

You are just the luckiest.
good for you.

i have low self-esteem.
deal with it can?

hrmm.. im so bored.
i need to get out of here.

4:59:00 PM

Saturday, December 26, 2009Y

Happy birthday James Emmanuel Cheng Tai soon :)

urgh!
im so bored.
bring me somewhere i have not been b4.
well, i havent been to alot of places

except curve. pavilion. klcc. sunway&1utama.
bring me somewhere for dinner& drinking.

i hope when my hunnay puts up the meeting in january.
its gonna be in a lavely place.
like...
for dinner& drinking.
cos i cant take another shopping mall.
somehow.

7:28:00 PM

Hard for me to say im sorry

hey now,
goodmorning.

ive gain pounds
i hate it!
im gonna lose 7kg.
next yr
so that i can fit in a size 4.
im a size 5/6
so yeah..

URGH!!

Joggin!,eating right, forget abt fatty food,
Yeah.

FUCK YOU RONALD MCDONALD!
FUCK YOU KFC!
FUCK YOU MEE GORENG&NASI LEMAK.

you make me into a walking
disasteer!

yuck!

:)

9:53:00 AM

Friday, December 25, 2009Y

Merry Christmas Everyone :)

lovee you all :D

4:16:00 PM

Wednesday, December 23, 2009Y

am i suppose to say boom boom pow now??

hey!
My bestfriend is in love and im happy..

my brothers gf is so the adorable!
♥ her!

im so bored.
i look so fugly.
i hate myself.
with the excess baggages
hanging on my arms.
thighs. muffin tops.
belly..
URGH!
FAT.FAT.FAT.

i hate myself with my dirty eye bags.
its so disgusting.
yuuusssrrrghh!!! :(
i hate myself..

sometimes. when im just not looking my best.
and im deffi not looking mybest now..

im jealous of others.
others are jealous of me.
but i want to be ordinary.
i want to be JUST LIKE YOU :(

new yrs resolution 1O1:
[find something to do in life]
[LOSE A TON OF WEIGHT YOU FAT FUG!]
[GET RID OF THAT DIRTY DISGUSTING EYEBAGS!]
[QUIT SMOKING. ITS A REPULSIVE HABIT!]
[GET MY IPHONE!]

10:26:00 PM

Tuesday, December 22, 2009Y

im back :D

my net was out for a few.

now im back.

count down 6day s:D

hehehhehehe

YAY!! FREEDOM!
hehehehhee

10:29:00 PM

Thursday, December 17, 2009Y

retard :)

im so tired :)
hhhahahah
holiday..
yay!
goodnight.

11:26:00 PM

Tuesday, December 15, 2009Y

"in the words of a brokenheart."

hey! im so tired!
but putting up with my last strength to blog.
hehehe..

today i heard from my friend.
that her boyfriend want to break up with her.
due to stress, religion, problems.
i feel so sad for her cos that is not a reason to breakup.
i think the main thing is that he has
lost feelings.
what i think.

i feel really bad.
i did the same thing once.
and someone close to me is feeling
the pain i caused to him.
if i could apologize.
deeply to him.
i would.

KARMA.
he will get it back.
dont worry jess.
like i tell you.
if he really love u.
he will think properly.

work related stress.
pressure.
headache.
tired!
i need a holiday.

pls anyone who can hear me?
listen to me?
take me on a holiday.

anyone?
:(

Serra came back frm cambodia.
i think.
saw the pics.
it seems cambodia is an awesome place..
jealous.
all these ppl can go nice places for holiday.
and i havent experienced so..
i can when im older?
urgh!
pls.
im 18.
i want to experience everything b4 23.
too old already.

My bestfriends has grown up.
im still left behind.
reminescing
abt the good old days.
im still..
the "naive" one.

yeeesh!
okay goodnight.
im gonna sleep now.
:)

10:10:00 PM

Monday, December 14, 2009Y

you and i by park bom.

esh! yeeesh!!

tired eyes.
so sleepy.

Good night..

take me on a holiday.
you owe me a STAR CRUISE HOLIDAY MR. ISAAC TAN!

i want to go somewhere..
refresh& recharge.
cos what im feeling now.
i want to sleep& collapse..
ahhahahahha

even if its near by i dont mind.
i dont go anywhere much.
the farthest ive gone is serendah.
WTF?!
HAHAHA

sad right.
okay night.

11:46:00 PM

Sunday, December 13, 2009Y

"i wonder how can couples put up 100 pics of eachother?"

"let me fly you all around the world"

she so pretty now!
:)

im obsessed with china doll haircut.

I WANT TO CUT MY FRINGEE LIKE THIS!

HIHI..
i like panda.
pandorikan?
remember that?
i want that one!
cute one.

:)

im in pain.
period pain.
YEEEESK!

i want to go shopping but i have no mood.

i wont be getting anything this christmas.
i guess.
so sad.
i can cry.
but i am happy.
:D

hehehehe...
i want to buy new shoe!
clothes.
accessories.
bags.
i want to cut my fringe and re-dye my hair
make it nice:!

hrrrrmmm...

i wan I PHONE!
BUT I CANNOT GET BECAUSE MY DADDY ALWAYS
FORGET.
I FEEL SO SAD AGAIN..

:(
IF I LISTEN TO HIM AND GET THAT DAY (NOV)
TODAY I WILL BE USING MY IPHONE.

PLS DONT RUN OUT OF IPHONE..
UNTIL I HAVE.
:)
THANK YOU..

9:11:00 PM

Saturday, December 12, 2009Y

"imthe first kid who writes abt hearts, lies and friends.

Im sorry my conscience called in sick again."

i want to go GENTING.
K.L IS SO hot!!

im SWEATING like a piG!

:(:(
My friend said its so nice there.
Because christmas have so many
nice things :(
im sad.

okay.

bye bye.

"and if you dont mind can you tell me all your hopes & dreams & everything that you believe in.
would you make a difference in the world?
i love for you to take me to a deeper conversation."

12:22:00 PM

Thursday, December 10, 2009Y

sometimes love, comes arnd.
and it knocks you down,
just get back up when it knocks you down.

i want to fly away.
high.
touch the clouds.
feel the cold breeze.
i dont want to come back.

i looked at old pics of friends frm august 07'
till july 09'
Gosh!
i miss PM MODULE!
CLASSES!.

hahahhaa..
yeah i went way back.
i miss sitting in the smoking zone doing absolutely NOTHING.
hahahhahaha...

those the best times of my life.
:)

im so craving for ice cream now.
yeah i love baskin robins.
but i cant afford that.
id go for Mc donalds chocolate sundae.
hehehe :D

i want to eat seafood.
Good ones.
Steam boat.
GOOD ONES.
Korean BBQ.
GOOD ONES.
i want to eat good japanese food.
:D

serra still owes me tenji..
im pennyless for all this things waiting for my 750.
hahahhaa.. but its not enough.
well,
its okay... im just gonna dream abt it till i get there.
and eat it.
someday lah.
hrrrmmm.....

My sister is going for the opening of fluxed magazine?
i think in MOS.
ask me to go but its 19 and above...
YEEEESH!
so ill just stay home..

:D

monday- 14/12 is shucore's birthday.
wednesday-16/12 is staff party.
friday-18/12 is public holiday.
sunday-20/12 is dads birthday.
friday-25/12 is CHRISTMAS!
saturday-26/12 is jamies birthday.
wednesday-30/12 is last day of training.
thursday-31/12 is Nw yrs eve.

any special event i missed???
i cant think of any..

i havent gone christmas&birthday shopping.
i dont even have new clothes for christmas.

the latest news i heard is
my dad blew all this salary
there is no more.
and its only the 10th of dec.
how nice.
well, this is gonna be the first
christmas with nothing new :)
dunno see how. :D

i want to watch new moon.
i want to go cinema :(
i want to go shopping.
window shopping.
i have no money though.

hi! someone save me!
take me out!!
call me if you can please?!

6:12:00 PM

"im lost, help! can someone help me?"

which direction should i take?
where am i suppse to be?
what am i suppose to do?

i dont know.

what is my purpose??

i dont know.

i need a holiday.
i need somewhere to go
and some thing to do

i want to feel more appreciated then i am now.
i dont have a life.

my life is my music& internet.
sucks to be me.
i dont dress nice.
i dont have special clothes for special occasions

i dont comb hair in the morning.

yeah..
My room is in a total mess.
its very small& hot.

id wake up after 5mnths of hell.
to a hse filled with noise
and crying&screaming.
while all of u get to study or work.
enjoy yourself.

i DONT have a choice.
My mom's health is more important then my work.
my dads heart condition is not getting better.
and i cant do anything now until..
the situation is under control.

*sigh*

id wish to go arnd the world and enjoy myself.
but i cant .
im stuck!

id wish to call my gf's and go out.
but i cant.
im stuck!
the time is never right.

id want to go on a holiday.
anywhere.
langkawi, p.d or the nearest lah. just to pavilion for a shopping whole day.
i CANT.
because, its always too dangerous.
its not time to let me go.
i will get raped or murdered.
i look too "foreign"
to be roaming arnd.
id forget who i am& myself respect
and get pregnant.

i dont get that.
thats when i hate myself the most.
thats when i hate how i look.

i complain i look fat&ugly.
yeah. i w**h i was FAT&UGLY.
that case noone will bother me.
i dont mean anything but
if its to let me do what i want.
then i want it.

i am allowed to go out.
but only to places that are 5-10mins away from my home.
but im only allwed to stay there frm 3-6hrs.
what the FUCK FUCKIN' FUCK IS THIS?!

if id pour out my frustration on you.
id kill myself afterwards cos
i cant take it.
seriously i cant.

but im holdin on because i dont want to die a sin.

the pieces just dont fit anymore.
what has happened to my family
and my life?

i need time to breathe.
everything is so fast .
the pressure is on..
im only gasping for air.

i need time to take a deep breathe
i want to take my mom&dad with me.

i changed my password so that
people cannot find their way in and share info to other people
that idont know.

nobody can understand.
no one understands me.
you think it is that easy to talk it out.
HOW ?
when i have 2 very stubborn parents that still lives in the 60s'
yeah it was so different from then and now.
but they dont see it that way.
okay.
i dont like it when people come up with solutions for me
that ive tried and it FAILED.
im just following.
eventhough it upsets me everyday.
because i just dont want anything to go wrong.
stress to them.
i STILL NEED THEM YOU KNOW!

so im just going in circles.
lack of motivation.
i really dont know what am i suppose do.
what will make everyone happy?

12:21:00 PM

Wednesday, December 09, 2009Y

"according to you, im boring.
im moody, and you cant take me any place."

hey ive made new layout :)
hehehe..

im so tired.
ive got to wake up so early tumoro..
i get so sad& frustrated inside.

i cant wait for a holiday.
if i ever do get one.
pfft.
21 more days.

im free :)

i want to go so many places
all my friends have left me.
to pursue their dreams.

but its okay. :)

i want to shop.
i need to stop eating.
i want to go to the beach.
i just want to relax.

b4 i decide what i want to do.

give me a break okay.
ive been thru hell.

but hell is much hotter!

well, i havent gotten a time out since i finished school.

i was pushed in kindi when i was 2yrs old.
i moved to schools when i was 7yrs old.

i was pushed to study hard(which i did for the 1st 3yrs)
i was pushed to join every available activity.

then when i grad.
i was pushed to coll after amnth or 2.
i graduate at 18.

why did i go through life so fast.
i havent even experienced anything on my list.

i know i still can.
but its not the same.

i really miss my friends.

if tears could turn back time i wish it would now.

oh well,
its time to grow up.
im gonna work(maybe)
then get married
and settle down with a over-protective& dominating guy.
*im not talking abt YOU okay?*

i wouldnt know our future.

so lets just see.

im tired :)

goodnight...

11:27:00 PM

Tuesday, December 08, 2009Y

"According to you, im stupid.
I'm useless, i cant do anything right."

i wish i can fly like mary poppins.
know her?
hehehehe..

im feeling average,
nikko hotel is growing on me!
i dont wanna leave you all but i must :(

im to miss all of uu..

Grace, Jess, KUAN!, MIKE!,thomas,Jason, AH CHIN!!!!, Alzubir,
bang' sharol, BANG ISMAILI!!!!!, admest, wan, fairus,
bang ameer, chef deen, chef fong&low, chef teh, dexter, benny,
jasper!!!, david, ying, CITI!, Ah choong, stupid butcher boy ermm?? ANWAR!,
all u stewards& shyukor!!!!

who am i missing?
sorry if i didnt put ure name in.
im forgetting names.
hahahhaa

imma miss all of uu..

i have had good times with all of u .
some bad times.
but lets leave that behind.
ive got what 23 days left.
yeah.
:(

ill come back.
i promise.
either goin to eat at cafe serena'
or benkay or Toh Lee
maybe enjoying at the bently's pub.
the pool side, nikko lounge,
lobby lounge or buying something from the deli.
ill be back okay ?? :)

im not happy nor sad.
im just okay..

the new deli staff is a bitch!
really
i bring the ordered cake and she looks at me say:
"apatu syang?"

i tell her.
"kek untuk guest."

she say:
"mane form?"

i point at the file withall the order forms
and she starts blowing up.

"BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!"

BITCH! HAHAHHA
i spoke to her in melayuu.
so malu.. really ..
hahahhaha

but she let me go.

hahahhaa...

okay okay imma go shower now..

ending with " aku dan dirimu - ari Lasso feat Bunga C. Lestari "
hehehe ;)

8:54:00 PM

Sunday, December 06, 2009Y

you are a damn fuckin' good liar..

LIAR! 2am? wow!

and you'd think id not know.
good for you.

figure this shit ureself.
im just not telling you anything.
thanks..

btw, viewers.
i had a tired day at work.
im constantly working to the max so that my period will come out..
yeah..

ive been promised an iphone.
im not getting it.

wtf? so fair is this..

i want My bestfriend.
really..
serra koh.
i really need you.

imma go christmas shopping.
WITHOUT YOU..

I AM ANGRY WITH YOU!
YEAH..

DEAL WITH IT!

IMMA WATCH NEW MOON..
WITH OUT YOU.

IMMA GO SOMEWHERE YOU DONT KNOW..
WITHOUT YOU!!!!

URGH!!!!!

fine,
good night.

9:18:00 PM

Saturday, December 05, 2009Y

hey, im bored..

bye :D

6:11:00 PM