Welcome to eye-c4ndy.blogspot.com

Hi, I'm dee:). I am dEE.I have a much much longer name but I'll leave it as it is for the sake of internet safety measures. I'd like to believe that I am a princess :)
im crazee over colours&dotts.. i'd like to stand on top of the world and scream! im slightly screwed up. but i cry,laugh,eat,sleep like you. im not an ALIEN. but i often wonder how would that be like :) i love my boyfriend♥ Mr. Leong Chun HOO
i daydream alot.. ALOT.
i'm obsessed with anything colourful and unique. Then again, im a UNIQUE individual
i smoke&drink. yeahh.. deal with it!
i can't roll my tongue BUT i can roll my eyes. :)
I am a certified bubble burster to be.
Ways to contact me:
♥ My tagboard? (duh)
♥ Msn
♥ Facebook
♥ tweetweetwitter
so yeah, what more can i say?

This blogskin is made by SIPEI and the background is taken from here and lastly, part of the coding is from this skin.

Host: x x

»Now Playing:
your music code

"I'm walking on sunshine."



2days to go..
im gonna miss them.

today is the AWESOMEST day.
i love my friends :)
they made me happy. Yes!
especially you.you and YOU!.

fuck them past.
keep in touch. dont keep in touch. keep in touch.
dont make sense!
boring Bunch i tell you.
"Oh she&he&they have changed. lets isolate them..
bad influence cos he.she.they smoke or he.she.they go shisha
or he.she.they go clubbin'. Remember we are the 'decent people.'
and i repeat 'DECEEENT!'."
Decent Fuck! EY! GROWUP LA!
fuck you ! and i called you my friends.
LanC now huh? boring bunch.

hrmm..
well yeah. 2days time.
im gonna dress up like im going to a Ball.
hehehe..
need time to think..
need time to pick and match.
:)

i'll MISS THEM!
VERY MUCH!
:(

what hurt me the most today was when.
Mr.Chairman said.
"one day, i tell you.. you will see your boyfriend kissing another girl."
You see. we were watching Teardrops on my Guitar by Taylor Swift.
thats when he said that.
it hurt me very much.
But then again.
Mr.Penguin was there to cheer me up.
Im glad to have someone like him.
he told me he knows how i feel.
and that Mr.Chairman was being an ASSHOLE!
he told me that Maybe that Chairman was trying to warn me?
hrmm...
id be hurt.
but i know that through out the pain.
They will be there for me.
i trust they will.


Im obsessed with Michael Jackson.
but i miss him dearly.
OMG! TALKING ABT HIM LIKE HE IS A FRIEND.
HAHA
i repeat..
IM OBSESSED WITH MJ!
hehehe..
the funny thing is that i couldnt careless when he was alive.
now that he passed.
IM OBSESSED!
yeeeee... :)
R.I.P MJ.
ill see you soon :):)

"ill see you when i get there..
if i ever get there"
-Coolio&the40thieves-


Okay, back to business..
Goodnight world.

R.I.P Michael Jackson!






Look at the difference.

i remember i used to be afraid of the Thriller Video.
i used to run and cry!
HAHAH

You ROCK!

so,

i more week :(

im gonna miss you all.
we've been thru alot.

keep intouch.
i dont know whats gonna happen next.

i really dunno. i love you guys.
Tam.Isaac.ash.dian.Ray.mel.Justin.Tristy.Jimmy.Cheelim.. and the rest of u guys.

missing you already.

July3rd- dinner at westin
Dresscode: Glamorous!

July4th- Interview for Nikko Hotel.
9-am
Dresscode:Formal.

My mom said im Malnurished.
wtf?!
i dont eat cos im FAT okay.

im sorry..

mood: so-so

im neither happy nor sad.
just so-so.

okay thats enough for now.
Goodnight.

Im completely alone.




no one to care for me.
all that has promised me that they will be there till the end.
all lies!
FUCK YOU. THEM!
all i have is myself.
i dont trust you all.
no one understands me or even try.
no one ever listens to me
cos they think IM full of BULLSHIT!


i hate this place.
why am i still here?
why cant i just live in peace?
why CANT YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

i HATE YOU.THEM!

a post without a picture.

pls dont apologize. i hate it when you do.
remember when i said im sorry but i just dont care.
yeah.. its true.
you go do whatever you want. its okay to me.
believe me dear. its true.

i remember i used to care so much 3yrs ago.
i was young and VERY naive
but the more i did.
i always ended up getting hurt.
day by day.
so i decided to grow up and not care.
im still learning to do so.
in that way i dont get disappointed or hurt.

so pls do understand.

in july 8th-18th.
he is leaving for work.
im worried.
but atleast i can do what i want then.
i can atleast do some thinking.
get ready for training of maybe go
out with ppl that i promised i would.
i will wait for him.
10 days shouldnt be a prob.
hrm..

remember something.
im just your Girlfriend.
im not your wife.
authority over you is not mine.
i dont own you.

good luck for work.
i know you can do it!
(:

unhappy...

"i thought you said forever, over and over."


i cant sleep.
i need sleep.

afraid to sleep cos the freakin' dream still haunts me!
fcuked up dream.
its gonna be a reality.
someday..
i just know it.

what makes you think we would be together forever?
the way i see it. i doubt so.

i dont believe so.
im sorry. but show me its not what i think.

are you giving up?
dont you thing you had enough of my nonsense.
*tick one below*

• YES!
• NO!

i dont know what am i to do.
i ran out of ideas.

"what we once had is totally gone."
i admit.

i love you. Goodbye.

"Fuckin' sakes! i cant take it!!."



i cant take this.
im not losing.
IM GAINING!
FUCK.FUCK.FUCK!
its time to go to the maximum.
hold all cravings.
its time to go on a hunger strike.
im serious..
HUNGER STRIKE!

i feel very fugly now.
and i wanna see how skinny can i go.
its an obsession.
and its official.
I HATE MYSELF!




i hate being me.
ive lost touch with my inner and outter self.

my face is not what it use to be.
i used to take lots of care .
now i couldnt careless.

ive got eye bags the size of a golf ball!
YEAH GOLF BALL!!
my face is so oily.
my eyebrows are out of shape.
i have no time to shave my pits.

my white/black heads are over running my life.

my hair is not going the way i want it too.
its growing very slowly and dry!

i regret cutting.
its so short!
urgh!
i cant wait till its long again..
another 6mnths more!!!!!!


im waiting for that point i get myself together again.
i think of myself b4 others.
right now, i couldnt careless.
i dont know why.
*sigh*

i need a brain wash!
my aunt called me fat!
pffft!!!
URGH!!!!!
FAT FAT FAT!
I WANT TO BE LIKE THOSE SKINNY GIRLS ON TV!
FUCK THIS!!!!

im so ashamed of myself.
my looks&attitude.
*Sigh*sigh*

how how?
someone plse tell me! how!!!!!!!!!!
HOW!!!!

*sigh*
im not hot! PLS DONT CALL ME THAT.
IM NOT PRETTY. PLS GO WASH URE EYES!
IM NOT SEXY..OH FUCK!
IM NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH! ISH!!!


"i use Monopoly money to buy cigarettes."
its true.
i smoke more then i eat..
AIKS!

what am i to do.
i need someone to tell me what i should really do.
cos i dont know.
and im not getting impressed by myelf either.

day after day..
dissapointment.

week after week..
depression.


*sigh*
i have so many role models and they all are skinny as fuck!
i really want to be like them.

"i'll eat you up..
so yum..YUM.
can't get enough.
i Think im in LOVE."



i just want to be love deeply
at random times.
called even when im very much asleep just to be told
how much im missed and loved.

i just wanna be loved.

held when i don't expect it.
told that i look cute when im angry.

hugged. every chance gotten.

kissed at the most random times.
told how much im loved.

teased and tickled when im naughty.

*sigh* i just wanna be loved.

scolded when im doing wrong.
always reminded to eat even how stubborn i am(dieting).
lectured not to smoke too much.
and argue over meaningless but harmless things.
"like whos better.. ManU or Liverpool."

posted pics up stating that im HIS.
when im upset cry with me.

hold me when we go shopping telling ppl "IM TAKEN AND HAPPY."

to eat with even if he is full.
dont lie to me.
remembers me even if he is so busy.

bring me out of the ordinary gifts even if its so lame.
bring me food!
told to take care even if im safe with my parents.

lectured why sleep is important and how much he worries.
always reminded someone loves me.

someone to say im forever his.

*sigh* i wanna be loved.
in such a way i dont complain.

"i Feel much happier when im asleep."

i feel very calm and happy in bed.
i wish i could sleep forever and forget abt evrything i have here.
i dont belong here.
everything is so angry.
i wake up everyday with anger in my heart.
what can i do. no one can make me happy.

someone pls save me?!



"i eat cigarettes, i dont smoke them."



temptation.
temptation..
i havent smoke in 2 days and i feel very sick..
that comes to show how bad its getting.
i wanna smoke to death!
yeah thats right.
smoke to death!
oh gosh!
this is not even cheering me up.
FUCK YOU!

1. Im fat and Losing it!


its been 2 weeks and im getting nuts over losing weight.
anorexia is not the way but somehow it may help..

ive been taking "enzyme" drinks for the past 3 days?
ive been eating lots of yogurt, vege, and lil rice.
ive cut down on junk food.
ive been drinking lots of water.
and skipping some meals..
im trying really hard.

every day of my life i just hate looking at myself.
i just hate being me.

i dunno how much i have lost but i hope its working.


2. My dirty lil secret.


i just dont know what to say.
whenever im happy something destroys the happiness.

i think we are just meant to argue and fight everyday.

the honeymoon period is over my dear.
and it will never come back ever.

its sad..
i see others so happy.
but why cant i/ we be like that?

why?
different thinking ?
bad moods?
afraid?
idk.

but i can take all that.
even if im not that happy.
i am happy to atleast have you.


3. ive got 2 more weeks in coll then im done.

i dont know what im really gonna do with my life.
i dunno.

but all i know is i do need a break. i really do.

Hey you!



im breathless.
the stoopid post didnt work.
uhuh yeah .
thanks for all the help.

i dont think this is what i believe it would be.
its sad.
i feel so bad.
the love that we had.
i guess its gone.
make me not believe so OKAY?

hi my name is denise.
and i think im fat.

i cant sleep. its about the time the clubs close and all em drunk ppl realizes "fuck! how am i suppose to drive home.?"

silly me.
im here to talk abt the person i love the most.
the person who doesnt realize that he has the ability to take over the damn world.
yeah. you.

it would take me forever to get over the fact that i love you.
id not know how to say this but u just make me sink boyfriend.
i go way back when i used to do silly things.
but not anymore.
you thought me many things
and the best of all is how to live.
you make me so comfy around you that i dont know how to emmbarass myself.
i learned not to hurt ppl.
and esp you.
but i make the same mistakes that i wish i could take back.
i wish i could. we learn from our mistakes my love .
and i hope after the next i would know what im doing wrong.
its been 730days plus 61days. dont ask me abt the hours and all that crap.
ITS 3AM I CANT THINK NOW!
sometimes we cant stand eachother, or even the feeling of being in the same room.
but thats when we are angry.
its stoopid really. but the greater an arguement the better the chances of loving one forever.
believe so?

im taken back manytimes to the day we held hands.
walking around like lil children. talking abt a future we wouldnt know exist.
ill never forget that day.
the day ill never let go of u.

'sometimes i cant stand you, frustrated to know WHY?!
but the solution to all my probs is to know u. understand you better.
stop being hard headed and LISTEN.
im sorry if i did anything to u.
i apologise.
yes its been 2yrs. but it doesnt mean i know the world abt u.
it takes more time.
if u expect me to know u in and out now.
we should just get married and get on with our lives.
but no.. 2yrs is not enough.
i dont know the real u yet.
the green monster has not comeout yet.

i love u.
boyfriend.
every silly thing you do.
they may call u names and laugh
but to me its cute.
everything u do just seems very adorable.
dont get me wrong.
if i dont show how much i love u.
look deep inside.
always remember te first time i said i love u.
cos its true.


hey boyfriend,
i made cute hearts out of straws but i threw it away
cos i was afraid you maythink of it as stoopid.

hey boyfriend,
pls make sure u hold my heart.
i dont want it to break not again.
super glue it to your hand if you can.
put a bandage on each wound.
cos im not good at doing it myself.


hey boyfriend,
no matter how far ive gone.
promise me u will wait for me.
scold me if im doing wrong.
and hold me when im angry or sad.
i sure do need u more then i need myself.
when we are together dont be afraid to show me u love me.
love is more than a kiss and holding hands.
its even more than "uh hum"
im serious.

boyfriend,
promise me you will try to hold ure temper.
cos that is what pulls us apart.



baby,
promise me. u will study well and work hard.
cos i want u to have the best and be the best.
show all of them who called u "useless" once
that you are not..

i love u.

my boyfriend.