lovely together; I love you

Wednesday, May 30, 2007Y

Awwww...

this is dedicated to Rhea.

awww babe,
i lovee you banyak!
always here for you.
no matter what..
i always will be.
for you.serra.ben.

Grawrsh..
well, to benden.
i lovee you.
i do.
Whatever happens.
or whatever it is..
ill always comee running to you.

6:22:00 PM

boredom..

Out with the old..
in with the neww.
no point in holding on to "unwanted" memories.
tearing every letters and pixs to bits
ACTUALLY made me feel ALOT better.

gosh!!
whatever that use to be is erased.
Now,
i know what i want.
and WHO i want.

lastnight couldnt sleep.
room was so COLD.
benden woke me up at 9..
went back to sleep
and woke up (again) at 11.
Goshgosh!
the need to GO out shop?
i need to go timesquare.klcc.midvally.sungai wang.Bangsar..
where ever..
HAHA.

Okay..
now im getting Lazy to writee.

BENDEN!
i MISS you!! ):

3:22:00 PM

Tuesday, May 29, 2007Y

denben*

denben.benden. hehe.

HAHAHHA.. sorry baby.. i just likee this pix so much!!

the 99 roses benden gavee me for my sweet sixteen.

My sweet sixteen.

Grad night.
mmm..
2months feels likee 2yrs.
i thanks God i found you..
i wud be lost without you..
goshh...
evry moment spent is Omgosh!.
i lovee you..
always&forever..
my benden..
6yrs&2mnths..
i love u.love u.love u.
(:

MONDAY,28 May..
Bday..bday..
was really emotional..
singing.
nilu dancing.
gosh!!
the vid..
honestly, ive watched it likee 1o timess.
only on dt day was really emotional..
HAHA.
well, thanks to those ppl who camee.
it comess to show
dt now i know who my real friends aree.
and to those who didnt comee...
well, its alritee...
likee lana&nat is excused..
i lovee you both.. good luck for your tests..

Mm..
i lovee benden..
benden!!
BABY!!

6:28:00 PM

Sunday, May 27, 2007Y

when will i see you again?
Thanks for the memories.

Class of 2oo6/2oo7..

yesterday was graduation..
it happened so FAST!
all i can remember is:
*boring speeches.
*getting scrolls.
*taking pic with parents.
*not wanting to eat.
*TAKING LOTS OF PIXS!
*drinks with parents..ser&ben.
*sleepover at Ser*s..

Heaps of unplanned fun?
well, looking at pixs of us really madee my day.
gosh..
when will i see you ALL again?

well, benden.
u makee me heart go..
LALA!
lying on uree chest and listening to uree heart beat
says practically everything.
i lovee you baby!
u makee everything worth it..
benden baby, its okaay
let it go.. i lovee you.

To all of them graduatess.
wishes of luck to u guys!
One finee day..
we meet again!
sit down with a cup of coffee or VODKA!
and talk abt our oh-so-dumb memoriess.
alwayss (:

<3

10:39:00 PM

Friday, May 25, 2007Y

what ive done?

grawsh?
am i not allowed to blog?
Oh well, grad is tumoro and i feel likee NOT going!!

Mm watever..
hmm...
do you feel likee you've got lots of things to say but just dont wanna say it?

*i do..

i feel like running far away.
i feel like hiding?
i feel horrible?

Gosh! my bro was giving me "relaxing" tips.
but i didnt listen..
now im regretting..i shud havee listened.
mm.. LANA! LISSA!!
im gonna miss you the most!!
my lil adiks! HAHAHA..
but ill come back for visits..
for now i just want grad over.
my party over..
and
to just get away frm it all.
relax.
and to GROW UP!

ivee been hearing things from unwanted ppl abt my blog?
DONT WORRY!!
its going to go privatee.
so u fuck faces dont havee to read abt my miserable
lifee..

i wanna scream.shout.throw things arnd.cry?
but no onee will hear me.
Gosh!
ill do wat i do best..
fake it..
smile..
hold it all in..
and just go on with my lifee.

ill just say..
i dont caree.
well, i try not to caree..
if ppl can do it. so can i!

*Blaady MotherFcker!

ive learned dt you cannot trust no one.
they can say whatever but YOU knoww
they dont mean it..
somee ppl takee you on a LONG ridee..
and they just dump you somewhere in the end.
Gosh!! i guess in this world..
its just me.myself&i..

alonee?
YERSH!! I FEEL COMPLETELY ALONEE!!

11:18:00 PM

Thursday, May 24, 2007Y

weeeeee (:

the "o"s aree OVER!!
yeee (:
Goshgosh!
im going gaga..
even my dog is going gaga..
the last day of o-levels..
the last day of real school lifee.
honestly, i dont feel likee leaving.
every corridor&corner of school has a memory.
and well, after im gonee its all going to fadee away.
but..NOO.. memories of him.her.them
aree still fresh in my mind.
till the day we meet again.

gosh! lifee seriously goes by really fast..
frm being the shyshy person..
to being the "unknown" person..
then the try hard..
and now to just being normal (:

i was looking for random pixs to place in my foto album
and i saww pixs of
ben.ser.rhea.nil.jieun.fuz.wins.saeika.mon.shreo.hye jeong.lissa.lana.
lia.sue.jega.minhtut.jon.Cassey.shay.nina.neetu..

Gosh! those were the days.. when school was all abt hanging arnd and stuff.
now, its likee a mirror when it falls...
broken into pieces..
dts us.. but we did havee our fair sharee of good timess..
ive met whoever i was meant to meet..
ive gonee through random experiences..
ive loved who i was meant to lovee..
and honestly, im grateful for it..
without them. i dont think i wud becomee the person i am today.

oh gosh! on grad day.
ivee gotta wear waterproof eyeliner or whatever.
cos deffi tears wud floww.. ):
But.. this aint the end of my lifee..
Noo... im looking forward to my new lifee in college.
new friends.new experiences..
and well, mostly sharing my timee with my benden baby..

mm.. im going all emo..
but i guess it doesnt makee any sense.. (:
ow well...

7:04:00 PM

Tuesday, May 22, 2007Y

tired.tired.

Goshgosh!!
im sleepy?
HAHA..

well, whole day been out..
gosh..
mmm

i miss benden!

8:58:00 PM

Sunday, May 20, 2007Y

say your prayer but let the good times role..in case God doesn't show.

this feelings taking control..

gosh!! i dislikeee holidays?
hahaha...
well, i miss benden LOADS!
i cant seem to concerntrate on my last exam..
i feel likee killing myself/ i feel likee chopping someone..
Hee (:

i JUST miss benden so much!
Gosh!! even talking on the fonee is not good enough.
i wud LOVEE to go out but then i need someone to follow me?
well, its not dt i dislikee being alone with him..
cos I DONT.
is just dat mom is getting SOOOOO "protectivee"
GOSH!
fuck protection...
all i wanna do is go out and havee fun...
i dun wan to be a mommy&daddys lil girl anymoree.
im sixteen!!
givee me my bloody spacee.
i want timee alone!
i want timee with ben!
i want timee with my friends.
school lifee is overr.. and i still feel
dt its not enough..
i feel so angry.
bloody headaches.

i draw and draw to keep me calm BUT end up tearing the paper instead!
i want bloody history to be overr.
i want my sixteen party to be over
BUT
i dun wan grad to be overr.
Gosh!
ill miss them lotss.
i can still remember the timee i first camee to school
i was a freakin loner!
HAHA...
and a cry baby..
then i grew out of it and got nicee friends.
now i guess ivee got a wholee Fair Eww family..
we did drift apart
but memories stay fresh in my mind.

i bloody hatee spoilt brats!
hahaha.
eventhough im one myself.
i just dont likee it when they think uree fcukin' shitz
and they're the bomb cos they livee in a nicee BIG hsee
and daddy provides them with everything..
gosh! i think im likee describing myself.
am i?

oh well,
there will come a timee
when ill just get wild and forget myself.

GAWD! I FEEL LIKEE SCREAMING.
but
no onee wud hear me..
no onee wud listen.
no one wud caree..
so all this frustration is between me&my blog.

oh ps:
i fuckin hate uree protection!
i cant fuckin breathe.
i cant be myself..
i always havee to pretend to be something im not..
GOSH!! im not uree lil girl anymoree.
so Fuck it!!

4:24:00 PM

Friday, May 18, 2007Y

only "real" men wears pink :D

Yeeeee (:

gosh!! bday party.bday party..
HAHAHA.

went to kde to confirm but the F&b wasnt there..
People invited are:

-Ben
-ser
-rhea
-nilu
-mandana
-mon
-saeika
-fuz
-wins
-minhtut
-sue
-jieun
-nerissa
-wyn
-alice
-suzy/euncheol
-lia/friend
-illssa
-laarnia
-christian
-nat/seng
-prashant
-shay
-nina
-neetu

guess dts it.. :D
i hopee it goes well.
Gosh!!

Oh ps:
for 17th may.
Benden baby..
i lovee you. and Yeah 2mnths is likee 2yrss.
happy 2nd monthsary :D
heee (:
i know we had our share of "bad times"
but
dt dont matter..
as long as uree happy i am too (:
my bestfriend.my love..
always...

7:33:00 PM

Thursday, May 17, 2007Y

when you're gone.
the pieces of my heart are missing you.

gosh!
honestly, ive got nothing to writee.
i guess after i grad my blog wud go in the trash!
or i just wudnt update it..

11:41:00 AM

Wednesday, May 16, 2007Y

Colourful crayons.

Yeee (:
i told mom i was going to get a lip pierce&she went all Kuku?
hahahhaha....

she said will pull it out[OUCH!]
ow well, i will get it some day.
Not now =D

Gosh! Oh yeaah..
Mmmm.. just wanna say
Go superglue uree "spoiltnastymouth."
and go jump off a cliff or something..
cos honestly, uree not a nicee person.
never was frm the start.
u think uree "wow!" just cause daddy&mommy can givee you WHATEVER you
want.
Gosh! Go die okaay.

7:13:00 PM

My friend.my love.My family.
dEn❤bEn.. (:

im back after Long?
haha.
well, lifes pretty...
i feel "un-insecuree?"
hahaha.
Gosh! mm thanks to ben =D
O-levels a bitch!
i havee one moree exam to go..
then im free! Heeee (:

Goshgosh...

6:35:00 PM

Saturday, May 12, 2007Y

im so confused?

errrr...
hahahhaa..

11:38:00 PM

Thursday, May 10, 2007Y

this is dedicated to LANA&JiEun.

firstly thanks!!
its sweet of you to write me a post on yree bloggy =)
YAY!!
i feel so Special
hahaaa..

anyways,
Jieun.. thanks and WE wud bee seeing LOADS of eachother!
go polka dot shopping.
and manymany moree!!
Yeaaaaoooo!!
hahahahahaha...

LANA.. awww no need to be sorry..
atleast you remembered.. =)
honestly, you did makee a hugee differ in my lifee too..
practically uree prblems becomee minee.
and WOW! i guess uree my long lost Lil sis too =)
hehehhee..
ofocs i want you to comee for my party!
and will miss you MORE moree!!! gosh gosh!
ill miss you coming to me and saying "DEEEENNNN!!!!!!!"
our gossip timeee after school..and evry silly thing we do =)
lovee you lots!!u rawk socks&rocks? hahhahahhahahah....

LOvee you both!
and thanks!!!

12:19:00 PM

do you havee those days when you feel completely annoyed with everything?

Gosh!. i do...
it doesnt seem just likee 2days of feeling likee dt..
moree likee Weeks.months?.yrs?

do you feel likee you want something but know you CANT havee it?!
Gosh! i feel likee dt
BUT
i dont know what is dt "thing".
what isit?

honestly, ivee got whatever i want.
ive met whoever i was meant to meet.
But why do i still feel like this?
why do i feel likee somethings missing?
WHY DO I FEEL SO ALONE?!!!!!

Big girls don't cry..
ivee heard this likee 5mths ago?
thanks to lil sis..
missing you loads!

"i hopee yoou know, i hopee you know.
that this has nothing to do with you.
its personal, myself&i. we got some straightening out to do.
and im gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
but ive gotta get a move on with my life.
its time to be a big girl now.
and big girls dont cry."

"I'll be your best friend
And you'll be mine, valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'cause I wanna hold yours too"

*sigh*sigh*

gosh! =X
i feel likee locking myself up in my room for days.
i feel likee getting away frm EVERYTHING!
i feel likee crying!? but tears aree all dried out!.
likee wat lana said
"crying alonee is better cos crying infront of ppl is so likee
craving for attention."
double gosh!

*sigh*
okaayy..
emo.emo.emo.
im just so MAD at myself.
don't ask.

*Colour-less crayons.

11:23:00 AM

Wednesday, May 09, 2007Y

C.r.a.y.o.l.a C.r.a.y.o.n.s

HAHA.
GOsh!!! tht song "sexy love by neyo" send chills up my spine.
BUT..
i lovee it!!=)

im really not suppose to be blogging now.
BUT
i cant help it.

Yeeeooo!!!!!!
someone thinks im... Ow well. better not say it here =X

awwww...
keith! you dumbum!
Yeeikkss!! we going to see eachother real soon!!!
Comeover we watch moree "moviess" *wink*
GOsh!!! miss him likee double goshh!
haha...
thanks for the bday wish!!!
its sweet of you to spend 2 mins of ureee busy*ness.
to sms mee. HAHA.
and if we can.we go support andro in digicelebriteen..
then party&bully moree small kids.
=) lovee lovee.

7:24:00 PM

Tuesday, May 08, 2007Y

Alonee.

when you think you've got evrything you want.
think again.
you feel moree likee you wish you got everything you want.

honestly, i feel alonee.
im so MAD at the world.
and im even moree MAD at myself.
Gosh! they think im a lil bit "crazy?"
well, think watever.. im just so MAD at myself.

i dunno if this is stress talking..
but?
what stress?
im likee stress-free..
Oh gosh!
something in me says "den! you gotta go far far away! and dont come back EVER!"
but the other says "Grow up den! u'ree just being TOO MUCH!"
it seems mom&dad is planning on migrating overseas?
but i dunno if its truee.
they want me to study in canada with somee of my cuzins.
but im not suree and i dont want to.

ivee heard frm someonee dt im a total failuree.
i guess i am?
am i?

and something in me says
"den! wat 6 'A's...moree like 6 'U's"
hmmm....
pretty soon my blogs going into the trash or going privatee.
my posts aree just goin to get morreee emoo..

and yeaahh...

for the record.
i do feel so alonee.
if i cud..
i wud walk infront of a bus now.

11:43:00 PM

Happy sweet sixteen?
Yeaaahh..
Whatever.

honestly, i wokee up today not knowing it is my bday..
well, i shudnt havee let anyonee reminded me..
Or i shudnt havee reminded anyonee.

Yeaah..
only 1o ppl wished me.
and i dun feel "special".
its not "special".

i told myself not to blog till exams aree over BUT
ow well, im just Grraaawwrr!

todays been goin pretty finee.
the fact i wasnt really given "royal" treatment.
ivee just gotta say.

its just an sms..
atleast he remembers.
even fuz remembered..
Gosh! it kindaa hurts when you said..
well, whatever you said.
honestly,
who wants to go back to a FILTHY liar.a BACKSTABBER!.a CHEATER!.
Who acts all gayish and thinks is Bloody hell cute..
WELL NOT ME!!
NOT ME.NOT ME!!
gOSH!!

it seems the hug that meant alot to me was lana's (see lana.. uree in my posts!)
haha...
gosh! i feel likee i dunno anyone anymoree.
1mnth outta school and everyoness just "different."
except somee.
Ji eun!rhe.ser.ben.lana.hayteng.wyn.fuz.Ta.sumaya.saeika.
kath.che.suee.nat.
blahblah and ohh nilu!
thanks for wishing...
its much better than a bday gift..

actually, my bday plan was to... Ow well! it wudnt happen.
i wanna go philippines noww.
i miss my cuzzies.

okaay somehow i feel pissed off.
i feel likee crying?
i dunno...

but sometimess
do you feel likee getting hit by a bus?
*i do!!

i cant wait for exams to be over.
i cant wait to grad.
i just cant!!

gosh.
double gosh! :(

11:28:00 PM

Saturday, May 05, 2007Y

Yeeeeooo!?

hahhaa...

loads havee been goin on..
BUt ivee just been studying.studying.studying.
almost finished the wholee maths past yr..
except 2oo1.

Gosh!

Rhea! i knoww uree reading thiss.

=)

lovee you!!

11:31:00 PM

Thursday, May 03, 2007Y

oh goshh....

got scolded cos i haveent been studying for a week alreaddy...

oh well,
went to the cinema to watch spiderman.
i havee never been to Gold class in my lifee.
wow!! its likee "royal" treatment.

anyway, will updatee this blogg..
dont think ill be blogging for a whilee.
or even comin onlinee.
cos O-levels is comin soon.

oh ps: my bday in 5 days =) YAY!

9:30:00 PM

Wednesday, May 02, 2007Y

stab my back its better when i bleed for you.

2days without blogging kindaa lots has been goin on.

lets see...

1st may
Had dinner with my Oh-so-lovable childhood friends.
YAY! its been almost a year since i last saw theem.
Gosh!! HOW big they've all grown.
it seems likee yesterday.
shan*..darren*..Ky* matthew*..jon* were small babiess.
and lud*..andro*..jo*..keith*&i were the "big kids"
and i always getting bullied and pushed in the pool..
HAHA boohoo..
it was mean. but to think of it.. its really funny noww.
Noww i flirt with them and they go "Gosh! if only she wasnt taken."
HAHA
the thing dt ivee been hearing all night was "den is so pretty.. she can go for miss malaysia.."
HAHA compliments BUT i find it hilarious.
and i told mom "Ofcos.. ivee got a sexy baby dt makes me feel pretty."
PUHAHHAHAHAHHA....
and mom just laughed at me..
went ti the back of the restaurant and the small kids started
burning stuff and created a HUGE firee.
Keith wanted to throw darren in..
But he started screamin likee a girl..
then one of the guards saw the smokee
and the small kidss ran to the toilet and hid theree.
Oh! and ky* is so adorable noww.
1oyrs old and she just makees me smilee.
so talented.. she can sing&dance&act..WOW!
she's got matthew and keith to protect herr..
HAHA.
well, keith is suchh a flirterr... he kept on touching my stomach and
comparing his..he pats my faceee...blah blaah..
and i goo "NOOO! IM TAKEEN!!! YOU'REE TAKENN... ILL CALL JHEN!! I KNOW HER NUMBER!!!" haha
after dinner at the seafood restaurant
the camee over my placee.
stayed untill 3 am..

2nd may
Gosh!! shopping.shopping for grad shoess.
But didnt buy any...
klcc is so full of teens.
i got jealous of somee "couplee"
and i went "GOSH!! i MISS BEN!!"
made friends with this small boy named "desmond?"
haha.. he is just so adorablee.
i was sitting and trying shoess
and he hides behind the seat with his toy sword
and kept on smiling at me.
and i showed him my tongue and smiled back..
Gosh! small kids makee me smillee lots!!

Lala..=)

9:50:00 PM