lovely together; I love you

Monday, April 30, 2007Y

"am i more then you bargained for yet?
ive been dying to tell you anything you wanna hear
cos dts just who i am this week."

"say a prayer, but let the good times role.
in case God doesnt show. and i want these words to make things right.
But its the wrong that makes the words come to life."

"Im addicted to the way dt i feel when i think abt you."

HAHA.
yes, fallout boy makes me smile.scream.jump? haha
i watched the Music vid for thanks for the memories.
GOSH! i think pete wentz looks hot when he started trashing
his guitar and throwing everything abt..
MMM =D

9:01:00 PM

ben is back...

Oh gosh! i dunno why but i feel annoyed..
i feel sleepy..
i want my teddy bear =(
i threw him out last night cos he started telling me "dirty" secrets.
HAHA. gosh!!

7:26:00 PM

Sunday, April 29, 2007Y

"i turn to the side of my bed staring at the empty spot right next to me& said "Oh! teddy why did you havee to go?."

Goshgosh!
"never leave the person you love for the person you like.
cos the person you like would leave you for the person They love."

so truee.

But ow well,
i miss ben!
i cant wait for him to come back.

i remember someone telling me
"becareful don't let your husband or your boyfriend Go to Thai..
cos they will never comee back.."
HAHA

and it got me thinking&worrying ...
its stupid to do so.. But yeaaahh.
You'll never know.
Puhahahahahabbahahahahhahahaaatehehehehee.

Okaay dts one weird laugh.
honestly, for this o-level.
i cant concerntratee.
im totally distracted.
i keep telling myself "den! stop it!! go and study."
but i dont seem to do so.
at times likee this all you need is a hug.
and a SLAP on the faceee to WAKE you up.
HEHE.

it has been raining lotss.
all i cud think of was ~~"i love the rain, makes me think of you"~~
But gosh! whatever!
thunder is so scaryy..
i end up sms'n ben cos i was scared..
Yes! i cud usee a hug though.
all i want to hear is "dont worry, im here. ill protect you."
haha..

likee what jon says
"den, uree so full of it.."
yeaaahh... i havee all the lovee&care i need.
But its not the samee..
i want BEN!

"my tall sexy guy."
HAHA

=)

11:54:00 PM

You aint got to Buy nothing.
dt's not what i want. Baby, its You.

WOOO!!
the first timee i went out After a LONNNG timee..
HAHA.
okaayy? well, went to BSC (bangsar)
Had mcdonalds for breakfast.
mom kept on saying "coke? early in the morning..?"
sister wanted to perm&cut her hair.
Gosh! she looks so gorgeous& mom wants me to do it likee hers..
But im gonna grad with my long hair but
for my sweet sixteen (maybe)
ill cut my hair short&perm it!! YAY!!
she took 5hrs in the salon BUT it was alritee..
the hairdresser who owns the place is dads friend.
and he giveess GOOD discounts.
HAHA.
Bro&i walked&walked&walked.
there was a toy car racing going on
at the centerpoint. it was Quitee interesting..
went to the supermarket&bought "low" fat fruit juices
and potato chips.
went to Times bookstoree looking for a Mother's day gift for mom.
But the day cud havee been better if we were in mid valley or something.
GOSH!
then went homeee.. had a VERY longg Nap..
wowoweeeewoow.. HAHA
i gtgs eat dinner

OH PS:
i miss ben so much.
he sms'd me FINALLY!
but oh well, i was in dreamland.

7:51:00 PM

Saturday, April 28, 2007Y

when its not alrite. when its not okay.
Would you try to make me feel better?.
ill runaway with you.

lifes so different without you..

11:57:00 PM

i can't seem to tell if.. You are fiction or fact..

YAY!
i dunno why am i in the mood =)
BUT
i miss ben Lots.
Gosh!

Oh well,
did hse chores to show mom&dad dt im "RESPONSIBLE"
haha.
just a thing to get them to go on holiday.

helped my bro draw a picture for a "friend".
talked&planned my sweet sixteen again.
But it all went "chaotic" when jon said.
"Oh!!! ure friends smoke weed&drink ritee?"
Grrrrwwwrrr*
i got so mad i didnt talk to him for 1o mins.
until he said.
"WHO IS this singerr? james brown? charlie brown isit?
Ohhh!! chris brown!! yeaaahh.."
Puhaha charlie brown?
now is dt guy who takes care of snoopy?
HAHA

ow! bens gonee to thailandd..
left at 12 midnight.
hasnt sms'd me sincee.
Gosh! i miss HIM!!
but he will be back having bought the whole of thai....
OopS I mean buy me something PRETTY!!
YAY!!

last trip to singaporee he didnt buy me ANYTHING!!
HMPH!!!

i talked to greg* abt mom.
Greg: " well, in away moms right cos you guys havee been together for 2yrs and how cud you forget him so fast?"
dEn: "WELL!, he forgot me in a month.. But i kept holding on&having this HOPE something might change BUT i was wrong.and i cant help myself if i fell in lovee again."
Greg: "yeaah truee.. well, denden its uree lifee. i know u'll make the best of it. But you know .. im always here if you need someone to talk to..."
dEn: "YEA, i knoww.. so hows tine*??"
Greg: "Oh! she's... actually i dunno.."
dEn: "Good!! haha i havent heard frm her since.."
Greg: "yeaah. well, den i lovee you okaay? i gtg.. tell mom&evryone i said hi.."
dEn: "Okaay.. MONKEY! cu in 3yrs timee..."

HAHA
So random.. But i miss him =(
AND NO! GREG IS A FRIEND.

"im here without you baby, i think abt you baby..
&i dream abt you all the time.."

11:27:00 PM

ben went to thailand.
i misss him =(

Labels: =(

6:11:00 PM

Thursday, April 26, 2007Y

Okaay.

for just one small thing.

i feel so sick&tired.

i seem to hate everything&everyonee.
all i want NOW is a VERY good "drink".
and a VERY GOOD! and LONG LONG sleep.
but in away i do want someone to talk to...
maybe cry on.

Gosh!! but wat she said.
makes me realize
"I CANT trust anyonee."
i think.

Okayy im being SUCH a DRAMA queen.

ill stop here. b4 i start moree trauma.

8:01:00 PM

I forgot to mention.

she also said.
"wats does your friends think of you?
may be they just pretending everything is okaay But deep insidee
they dislikee you for "dt" reason."

Gosh! why?
Yeaah. makee me feel MORE worse then how i feel NOW.
Maybe im just being a drama queen.
Maybe in just being so stupid.
Or over-reacting.

Or maybe she's right.
i am a "loser".
and i deserve to feel like this.

Gosh!!
Ow well...=)

7:54:00 PM

gosh. Why?

*sigh*
a mother&daughter outing is such a big mistake.
honestly, im not in the mood to blog But..
Oh well, ill just spill it out.

even my own MOM can stab me in the heart again&again.
Gosh.
it started off by her telling me.
"how if you see f** walking around here with someone else?"
and i went.
"ill just be nice&say hi"
and i also said
"its over wats to be so jealous or angry abt?"

and she had to continue by saying
"well, its weird cos after him you have T* then now its.."

Okayy to cut it short my OWN MOM
called me a "playa"
she kept on reminding me of wat me&him use to do.
and how stupid we use to act arnd eachother.
and how much i use to talk abt him.
lastly,
how it ended.

Gosh she made me feel like a VERY VERY VERY bad person.
likee everything is MY FAULT.
likee im a pathetic loser.
i felt very embarassed.
but i held all my feelings in.

in away she said
"well, it just happened¬hings wrong with it."
But
she DID make me feel so horrible.
Now i feel so guilty.
&well, if i still can i feel likee crying.
i thought hurt.pain&guilt is left behind.
But even uree own mom can inflict it on you.

she made me hate ME moree now.
but its the truth.
and i cant hide frm the truth.

Oh well, lifes NEVER fair anyway.
i "dislikee" her now.
But ivee got to just hold it in..
likee i said.
My feelings DONT mean ANYTHING.

"bottled up feelings."

Gosh! okaay im NOT in the mood to talk to ANYONEE ANYMOREE.

7:10:00 PM

Wednesday, April 25, 2007Y

a little less sixteen candles, a little more "touch me".

ben left to singaporee 12mins ago.
Gosh! makes me miss him moree.
My baby so far away frm me now.
but no worries
he'll be back tumoro afternoon
and he'll be back with something pretty for denden =D
HAHA.

i WANT to go singaporee!
i WANT to go back to philippines.
hmm... i cant wait to grad.
i cant wait for o-levels to finish though it hasnt started yet.
i cant wait to get outta school
and forget all "them"
but not the ppl i lovee...
lana.nat.lissa&whoever.
Gosh!Ow well, im so tired.

"I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you"

10:25:00 PM

Tuesday, April 24, 2007Y

OHPS:

i think the lead singer frm Good charlotte is Hawt!
but his twin is hawter! HAHA.

10:47:00 PM

Yay!! hehe.

after trying on my dress..
Oh! my dress is a secret.
its not the blue one behindd...

MY new shirts frm my FAV shop!
*wink*

Gosh! had a long talk to mom abt her "life."
her "feelings".
so sad! i didnt knoww how cruel "they" were.
told Mom abt ben.
she didnt say much.. just study harder&dont takee uree relationship TOO serious.

something abt wat mom talked abt made mee wonder.
am i really TOO kind?
why isit i try to please ppl..
and make things right with them
but i ignore how i feel.

i guess my feelings dont mean anything.
its okaay. i rather keep them to myself.
they always cause trauma.

=(

9:16:00 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007Y

Ngayong Nandito ka..(now that you're here)

Jericho rosales..
one word to discribe him "SEXY".
HAHA

Oh gosh! cutee =)

the drama king.
the king of romance&tears?
HAHA

gosh! okaay. im just rambling away.

well, filipino movies aree cool!
HAHA

9:52:00 PM

Sunday, April 22, 2007Y

Tired.tired!!

Goshgosh!
HAHA.
my feets killing me.
bloody shoes.
went to timesquaree to buy my second grad dress.
Gosh! its okay. =)
pinkish-black. not bad.
But when walking arnd.. i saw a BETTER looking dress.
HAHA ow well, im satisfied with my dress.
its not OH-SO-GORGEOUS likee my besties dresses..
saw many random fairview kids.
spent most of my timee figuring out who are they.
HAHA
i got all emo
and started acting likee a drama queen..
comparing myself to them.
its funny.
but well, dts the insecurity of a "fat" girl.
After grad..
im going for a whole new look.
short curled up lightish brown hair.
My "summer dresses"
lip pierce?(well, dt is if ben allows)
HAHA.
and my anorexic body.
HAHA
Okayy..
this entry sounds so
random&weird.
GOSH!!
hahahhahaha...

Oh and PS:
i miss benben so much! =D

7:59:00 PM

Saturday, April 21, 2007Y

sleepy.

im dead tired.
i just wanna fill up my blog entries.
watched a horribly stupid show(?)
HAHA.

i want my ben!!
Give me my ben!
HAHA.

Gonna get some sleep.
till then =)

11:25:00 PM

Friday, April 20, 2007Y

Give me something to believe in.. cos i dont believe in you. anymoree..anymoree.

HAHA
so random.
I saw my baby today
FINALLY!
gosh.. i missed him likee F*ck!!
HAHA.

Bro gots himself a new tv&dvd player.
Gosh!! 21 inch? hehehe
Bloody spoilt munchkin.
HAHA.

well maroon 5 is stuck in my head...
i want them OUT!
haha

10:23:00 PM

Thursday, April 19, 2007Y

I WANT A CYBERSHOT!

AHH!! HAHA
awww... i havee been begging mom whole day =)
and well, she said "maybe".
GOSH! wat kinda answer is dt?
i spent whole day studying?&sleeping.
HAHA.
yeaah. im pretty much fuck nowadays.
having random thoughts&dreams.
and says the most randomest things..

i miss ben so much.
well, im sorry i didnt pick up your calls&all.
i wasnt purposely doing it.
i was lying in bed the whole day..
Oh gosh i lovee my special boy =D
haha.

anyways,
LANA THIS IS FOR YOU.

laarnia. says: (9:05:19 PM)
ey den. what u doing now?

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:09:06 PM)
Hehehe
looking for you..
i cant find ..
but imm still trying
cos im also looking for a layout for myself.

laarnia. says: (9:09:57 PM)
ooh. .OOH.. hehehe

laarnia. says: (9:10:04 PM)
r u taking cp ?

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:10:21 PM)
Cp?
nopeee.

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:10:22 PM)
why?

laarnia. says: (9:10:54 PM)
ooh .. just asking.

laarnia. says: (9:10:59 PM)
coz got projecto.

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:11:54 PM)
yeaahh.. i knowww..
dts why i dun wanna takee comp hahaha.

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:12:09 PM)
its really hard ritee?

laarnia. says: (9:13:23 PM)
ooh . .ahaha

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:18:56 PM)
ehhehe

laarnia. says: (9:19:14 PM)
lol(:

laarnia. says: (9:19:17 PM)
so hows u and bennyyy

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:20:24 PM)
Awwww we'ree gr8..
i miss him LOTS!
haha

laarnia. says: (9:20:42 PM)
hehe. .
laarnia. says: (9:22:39 PM)
pancakes& honeyyy ? ?

laarnia. says: (9:22:44 PM)
i like the word pancakes. .

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:25:17 PM)
hehehhe
yeaahh.. panckae&honey. is yumyum

laarnia. says: (9:25:33 PM)
do u watch the o.c ? ?

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:25:47 PM)
Oh lana.. i do uree profileee tumoro or something okaay..
coss ah yoo... so hard to find onee PERFECT onee for you.

laarnia. says: (9:25:57 PM)
haha. .aitee.

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:27:41 PM)
sorry yeaah.

laarnia. says: (9:28:09 PM)
yu watch the o.c ?

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:29:30 PM)
Nopee hahahha

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:29:37 PM)
i dun really likee it..

laarnia. says: (9:30:00 PM)
oo h .ahaha .

laarnia. says: (9:30:08 PM)
well there is a rabbit named pancakes in the o.c

laarnia. says: (9:30:10 PM)
(:

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:30:26 PM)
Oh really?
hehehhehe

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:30:53 PM)
im so fucked!
i want a cupcake named by me
HAHAHA
denden cupcakee?
sounds good? HEHHE

laarnia. says: (9:32:00 PM)
hahaha..

laarnia. says: (9:32:01 PM)
yahh ..

laarnia. says: (9:32:04 PM)
thats so adorableee.

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:32:21 PM)
HEHEHHEHEHE
awwwww..

denben* pancakes&honey. says: (9:32:32 PM)
Okaay im gonna put dt on my blog =)

laarnia. says: (9:32:38 PM)
hahaha..

laarnia. says: (9:32:49 PM)
dont forget to write u wana a cupcake named after you

laarnia. says: (9:32:54 PM)
thats just too adorableeee

laarnia. says: (9:32:57 PM)
(:::

HAHA
our longg but oh-so-"random" convo.

YESYES.
i WANT a cupcake named by me..

dEnden Cupcake.
HAHA
sounds good? =)

10:33:00 PM

so EMO. so new =)

HAHA.
I've changed my layout cos
ben says this one is nicee& i kinda likee it myself.
Hehe =)

Oh gosh!
its 1 a.m
and i took like 3 hrs to do this and get evrything right.
im dead tired.
will writee moree in the morning.

12:59:00 AM

Wednesday, April 18, 2007Y

Awwww... sick and tired of xanga.. eventhough its just 2 days HAHA.

well, i cant takee it..
Blogger is much better then xanga..
and i can writee LOTS heree....
i dunno why..
at xanga i havee to think WHAT to writee haha.

Oh well, im back!!

10:23:00 PM

Monday, April 16, 2007Y

My blogger is temporary closed.

go to the new onee if you want.

its somwhere in my links.

ill open it again soon
if or when i feel like it

Ta. xoxo

denben*

2:11:00 PM

Sunday, April 15, 2007Y

Eh!

random day

Pffftt!! so bloody fucked!
Gosh!!

Xanga Vs. Blogger?

HAHA.

11:31:00 PM

i need lia!
But
i need baby even more!
GOSH!!

i'm an addict for dramatics.
i confuse the two for love?
HAHA..

okaay....
im so in lovee with
-Take back sunday* liar(it takes two).
-Mika* Grace kelly.
-Marques houston* Circle.
-Elliot yamin* i wait for you.

Goshgosh.
Okayy wats with "Gosh"
ivee been saying it too much..

i guess i might close down blogger for awhile
and
usee my xanga.
sincee evryones using it. =)

7:27:00 PM

Aww...
the need to go shopshopshop again.
Gosh.
i feel so random today.
goshgoshgosh!
i dunno why but i kinda feel annoyed.
i need LIA!!

i need to talk to her badly. =(
i cant wait to grad
and
get away frm school
but im gonna miss them.him.her.
awww..
But oh well, lifes NEVER fair anyway.
i cant wait to turn 16.
i hopee its much better then being 15.
Oh gosh..
i hate this.
Bloody mood swings.
Yeaah. i wud lovee to get hit by a bus =)

6:42:00 PM

Saturday, April 14, 2007Y

baby. i miss you.

The miles between your hand and my heart
It seems such a distance, we seem so far apart
Reality tells it's an exaggeration
Then why does my body feel a pain infestation
Was it really just months ago we were only best friends
Developed now to "true love til the end"
I long for your taste, your scent, your touch
How could I predict I would miss you this much
Your pictures, they now bring an ache to my eyes
Oh to see the real thing, I'm so lonely, deprived
To hear your sweet voice, oh the things that I'd give
I want it, I need it, in you my joy lives
I'd kill for your presence, I'd kill for your kiss
You've no idea the extent that I miss
You.

aww..
well, baby.
i miss you so so.
it seems likeee yrs i havent seen you.
i constantly havee been checking my phone
for missed calls&messages.
And there always is onee..sometimes two or three.
But
its not enough.
i need you.
Lovee u.
<3

7:29:00 PM

Friday, April 13, 2007Y

im just wondering..

TODAYS
been a rough day.
i havee no clue but
now adays ivee been so tired.
i need my baby!!
Hmm...
i dunno but i just got the need to ask why?
why dont you believe me?
i lovee you so much!
no.. i dont play..
when i lovee somebody
i really do.
i never say "i lovee you" for fun.
well, i dunno if you DO believe me.
But
yeaah.. i lovee you so so!!
i cant never ask for anything elsee...
But you..

My bestfriend. my lovee

Yeahh. 17.april is comin up..
i always think abt it.
but at timess it just slips out of my mindd.
i lovee you baby.
and im happy we got thru 1 month together =D

8:50:00 PM

Thursday, April 12, 2007Y

Spring cleaning!!??? HAHA

BEFORE.

AFTER!

Spring cleanning..
YAY!!
haha..
my rooms lovely =D
i miss my benben!
Gosh!!
jonjon's got himself a NEW gf!
hahaha...
Gosh! my bro's a playa.. HAHA
but i lovee him likee FUCK!

11:31:00 PM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007Y

Baby, believe me when i say i love you.
i do, i do.

Our love will last always.

10:34:00 PM

I love him!

Oh gosh!
why do i havee to choose?
i dont wanna choose!
i lovee ben moree then i Loveed you!
haha.
Okayy. incasee uree wondering its a Fucked dream i had.
Bloody hell!.
i dislikee you "filipino boy"
i bareely know you.
i dislikee you "fuz"
i DONT know you ANYMOREE!
well, it started off with dt random filipino boy.
cute but Oh-so-freaky.
Gosh! lovee letter? on our first meet.
YEAHH.
wow!
hehe... well, then fuz comes up to me
and then says
"Oh! hi den! i just wanted to say..dt after the break up..
i was angry& didnt want anything to do with you...
but then during the foto shoot.. i realize dt i NEED you.
and i miss you so much! plzz come back to me.. i still lovee you."
GOSH!
all i did was shake my head and walk away.
he got dt impression dt i still want him.
i walked up to ben & hugged him..
then fuz pulled me away and asked me to choose..
Fuz: "Ben or me."
den :"Bloody Fuck! ofcos i choose ben.. i lovee him likee so so!.
and i dont know you anymoree.You'vee turned into dt assholee dt i hatee."
Fuz: *just kept quiet*
den: "FUCK OFF...BLOODY FOOL! I WANTED YOU BUT YOU DONT WANT ME BACK!NOW, WHEN IVEE MOVED ON YOU WANT ME..GROW UP! AND GET A LIFEE!"
Fuz: *walks away*
Pffffftttt...
then i walk up to ben & he givees me a longgg hug.
and a kiss on the head.
Yeps, dts my benben!
i lovee him so so!!
HAHA.

Okayyss my dream is likee a reality =D
its weird.

anyways,
another casee..
My daddy told me today dt
my uncles aree idiots.
HAHA.
and what i hatee the most is when daddy said
dt the eldest onee doesnt likee us and just pretends for the sakee of the family.
BLOODY DUMBSHIT!
dt does it!
Your my uncle and all but
now i bloody hell dislikee you like fuck!
you dont go scolding my daddy for no fucking reason and think you're
oh-so-WOW!
bullshit! daddy is the best in the family!
he takes caree of Ma likee hell
when she was alivee. even after she passed away.
and wat do you lazy dumbfucks do?
lazee arnd and just go gambling!
fuckers!
dont swear at daddy! dont call daddy names.
in the end you bullshitters aree way way way below daddy.
and yes, i may look dumb.
BUT ill show you ALL ASSHOLES one day
dt ill be the best! and ill givee daddy&mommy a better lifeee.
You comee crying to me?
Fuckoff i dont tolerate uree nonesense..
Its all bullshit!
You lied to us.
you lied to Daddy.
You LIED TO MA!
we dont want you anymoree.
frm now on i dont know you.
we dont know you.
uree just our friend.

Three cheers for the dumshits dt we use to call family.
i dislikee you. Goodbye.

4:20:00 PM

Tuesday, April 10, 2007Y

Can't you read? it says L.E.A.V.E!
HAHA.. kidding

its Jonjon.
yaa shoppin for groceries is his FAV thing to do =) haha.

Mom&jon. Boredom! YAY! haha.

Denden's feet =DD CONVERSE! = LOVEE.

awwww... denden buy for baby =D

OoOo =x

HAHA...

SITTING IN THE CARWASH STAND AND EATING ICE-CREAM.

workin at the carwash! =)

the day started weird.
i got scolded for stupid random things.
HAHA.
went grocery shoppin with mom.
haha.
Moms flip flops brokee so she had to usee two "right" sided flip flops.
so funny HAHA.
poor her.
Jon kept on bothering me and makin fun of ben.
then i bought benben RM 1o reload.
HAHA.
funny stuff..
Blahblah..
i miss him.
Awwww...
shishi calls me her "blog stalker?"
sorry... im just to caught up in reading ppls blog..
sorry.

7:56:00 PM

E.M.O haha.

Bloody motherfuck.
HAHA.

Weee... i hatee mornings..
But nobodys home.
i feel happy =D
i miss someone.
i think im going to bake&cook.
Darn! hungryhungry.
had a dream abt ben.
aww.
why you have to go?
why isit you always leave me and never come back?
why isit always a "last" kiss.
or the "last" hug.
why? don't tell me.
another heartbreak. another "Drama".
i don't wanna know.
whatever it is.
just let it come.. =)

Haha
emo.
Dumbfuck!
my friend made fun of emo ppl.
and i got angry.
HAHA.
Omgosh!
im taking major for Culinary arts.
and Fashion designing or illustration
as a back up. =D

Yay! emo girl doing fashion design..
wow!
hehe.
bumdumbumdum denden.

9:41:00 AM