lovely together; I love you

Friday, November 30, 2007Y

hmmm...
tumoro is my last exam..
and im gonna fail it.
i havent studied.
i have been messing arnd.
listening to music.

later going to ser's hse for dinner.
hmmm...
baking a cake for her now..
and its not turning right!
ARGH!!!! i gotta stop thinking!!!!

all i can think of now is..
the video u showed me of us..

i think dt song
always and forever by deestylistic
is nicee..
*sigh*sigh*

12:58:00 PM

can u tell me how a perfect love goes wrong?

mmm..
i hate waking up with puffy eyes.
ARGH!
i gotta stop telling my blog my problems..
it doesnt help nor gives me advicee.

i need to talk to someone..
i need a "befriender"
hmm..
yep a befriender..
i need someone..
atleast a good listener.

no wait! i dont need a befriender..
all i need is..

my bestfriend!

yes, Ser i mean u.

i can feel myself really losing it.
i can feel my head all scrambled up.
i cant breathe..
im chokingg..
i have no appetite.
i have no mood.
everything is just moving by so slow..
and im feeling annoyed.

how i wish or wud do anything..
to see u at my frnt door.
smiling at me..
no worries.. ill see u tumoro :D

i told u I WONT LET GO!
i WONT LET GO.
im sorry.
i love u..
nd i wont let go..
i wont let go..

Honestly,
at this point ..
i feel like an IDIOT!

9:46:00 AM

Thursday, November 29, 2007Y

"my darling, who knew?"

hmmm...

do u still remember?
back than b4 "us" began..
do u remember how hard u tried to
get me? do u remember how hard u tried just
to make me say "i love you too"
wud u do dt all over again?
wud u?!

but im not letting go..

i love my bestfriend..
she never forgets me..
cant wait to see her tumoro..
got loads to tell..
cant wait to go prom with her!
HAHA.
i gotta find a new guy-bestie..
HAHA

im so addicted to this song..
who knew* pink..
" You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew"

hmm.. hmm..
i bought my prom dress already..
its so sexy..
i bought new polka dotty shoes..
im happy.
shopping makes me so happy..

i cant wait to go on me holiday..
yes! im going to penang on the
19,2o,21..
YAY!beach!!! i cant wait to go..
get out of this placee.
go somewhere far far away..
with my ipod...
i dont think my fone wud be in usee.
i doubt ill find it ringing..

next week shopping time..
my new adidas shoes..
my shorts&shirts..
im going to make changes with my lifee.
im gonna go as skinny as nicole or hillary..
im gonne wear shorts&tank tops..
im gonne put heavy eye liner..
im gonna learn how to stand for myself
and not care..
im gonna smoke my heart out..
i hope in prom i meet new ppl..
and learn stuffs frm them.

new sets of friends..

ARGH! frustration..frustration..
i love u
i wont let go..
i deffi will not..

9:56:00 PM

Wednesday, November 28, 2007Y

"Yep!that's my girlfriend"

eeeks! isnt he just the HOTTEST!!!
VJ Alvey.
HAHA.
when i look at him..
imma proud to be half filipino.

songs to dnld!
*bow wow feat. omarion- girlfriend
*avril lavigne- hot
*justin timberlake- until the end of time.

its been 3 mnths in this Bloody college..
and im having no fun.
dont get me wrong...
i have lovely friends..
but sometimes they annoy me
till im starting to crack..
i really dont know..
whats so wrong abt not being able to speak another language?
whats so wrong abt being different?
i dont get it..
at times like this i feel like i made a wrong choice.
mmm... i guess im over-reacting.
they apologized..
and said they just joking.
BUT i just dont like it...

i feel like ive passed this 3mnths
as a nobody..
HAHA..well! DUH! im a nobody...
i think many ppl dislike me..
when im not there..
they can really talk.
when i join in..
they change...
and when i walk away again
they start whispering and pointing.
or better yet..
when i sit there..
they just get up and walk away.
maybe its just me..
i dunno..

so sad..
im trying not to care.
if i reach my breaking point..
im just gonna be a wallpaper.
not noticed..

*sigh*sigh*

"i want to be that girl you point at
and tell your friends.. Yep! thats her.
YEP! that's my girlfriend."

HAHA.
its frm an icon..
i think its cutee.
*sigh*

honestly,
im not in the mood.
im still quite pissed.
i shudnt be.
but i am...
i dunno..
i think i did make a mistake coming to Kdu.
im so sorry to say..
i think i did
i belong in taylors..
where all my "sophisticated"
garden school buddies are.
i shudnt be doin culinary
BUT mass comm..
honestly, i shud havee.

*sigh*sigh*

im very close to Giving up.
im very close to saying lots of crap.
im very close to cracking.

well, i have two last exam papers.
&i have a dinner family date with my bestfriend.
&a prom to attend to.
after that ...
i want to go on a long holiday.
i dont wanna be bothered.
i wanna sit&stay by the beach.
i wanna draw my heart out& listen to good music.
i wanna run&run&run..and dont look back.
(which i will do!)

other than dt..
i just want OUT.

i wanna spend my christmas..
and new yr.
burning all my sad past..
watch it burn and cry?
i just wanna leave all my headaches&heartaches behind.
i hope next yr wud be good.
i hope im not forgotten..

"Hey baby, when we are together,
doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I'm in heaven,
feeling high
I don't want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.

I don't wanna run away,
baby you're the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight,
I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love"

remember this song?
remember u use to sing this to me?
memories..
hmmmm....
i dunno why but i feel so pissed&sad..
funny feelings.
my back hurts
and i feel like crying dt uncountable buckets of tears again.
Pfft!!

6:48:00 PM

Monday, November 26, 2007Y

My final exams..

tumoro
is the start of my theory exam..
*tsktsk**

pastry.
larder&english
butchery
malaysian studies.

just wanna dedicate this
post to my lovely little sayang.
LAARNIA!
happy birthday to you!!!
:D
:D

lovee lovee u!!

i met lana thru my bro..
and i thank God for dt..
lovee u sayang! enjoy ure day today kkay.

this is the week!!
THE week!!
SHOPPING week!
hehehe..
me going to by me
dresses for

ultimate prom
christmas

this christmas is diff.
i was told im allowed to spend my christmas with
friends...
but only at night with friends.
morning with family..
YAY!
but i dunno if really can.
HAHA

IM SUCH A BLOGGER HOPPER?
hahah.
i read babys friends blog.
well, very sweet post..
i think its cute..
i think they are cute :D

OhOh!
this is my holiday plan..
after exams plan..

everyday morning jog
repaint room
get new wardrobe
and laze arnd

hahaha.
the 1st is a must..
cos my goal is to be extra thin-slim-skinny
b4 the new yr..

HAHAHA.
YAY!

i think im talking nuts in my blog..
i too dont understand anything.

i miss baby..
i hope he does too :D
today is his exam..
im positive my baby will do well.
i loveu.

11:39:00 AM

Friday, November 23, 2007Y

muahahaha... i found this lably pic.

i just finished my "butchery" the sec time arnd..
and well, i PASSED!
well.. its not like 9o% pass..
just a 5o% cos i did it again.
nd when you re-sit a paper..
its just a 5o% pass.

after went to 1u with family
and baby followed.
Pfft! i was told i cud go shopping..
but then ended up i didnt.
PFFFFFT!
"thanks for hanging out with me today baby"

he told me something abt his friends.
pity them loads..
i know i said if it was me i wud tell my friend to F-off!
but to think abt it...
its just mean..
im not mean!.
pity them..
really do..
mmm... baby has such lovely friends.
atleast they understand you.
my friends dont understand me..
BUT
one.
hm...nvm.. i do have lovely friends too..
lovely guy friends. girls?hrmm..
quite hard to hang arnd with..
cos they dont talk much..
but there is 1 girl..
dt always calls me "sayang"
HAHA.
i think shes lovely..
well, she was suppose to aud with me
for the Mr&ms. STHCA...
but she backed oout..
and this one time during a field trip..
we talked&talked&Laughed&talked..
HAHAHA...
yep! Viv.. im talking abt you..
awww.....

anyway.. me got nothing to typee abt...
will update again laterrs ..

6:54:00 PM

Thursday, November 22, 2007Y

i think this is hot!

i just finished my exams...
and it seems i failed my butchery
and i have to do again..
and dts TUMORO!
so tired!!
three subs in 1 day is not easy!
its damn stressful!!

i havent taken medicine..
the whole day..
and i feel my body..
starting to crack?
i gotta take it soon.

i just saw a lovely pic of
my bestie..the long lost bestie
hahaha. yesyes. youyouyou!
why u go to taylors!!
get the hint?
anyway,
i saw a lovely pic of her&her boyfriend..
and i go..
"F**K!, WHY MUST YOU MAKE A MISTAKE!
I CUD BE DOING THAT WITH MY BABY TOO!"
HAIYO...

anyway,
i just thought ..
i want you to remember.
"i called baby to see wht she's up to"
i really missed dt..
today when i was told to resit..
i was so angry..
nearly in tears..
i needed someone to cry on..
but...*sigh**
there was no one.

hahaha...
this is just so random.
going home frm coll..
was listening to "oldies"
suddenly ..
the veronicas came up..
HAHA
dt song ..
i use to love..
dt now reminded me..

"everything's effed' up straight from the heart,
tell me what do you do when it all falls apart.
gotta pick myself up, where do i start?
cos i can't turn to you when it all falls apart."

omgosh!omgosh! and i go!!!
NOOOO!!!!...
but u gotta admit..
this is a lovely song..
its better than dt song
"forever?"
i think dts wats it called.
HAHHAA

haiyoo..
im dead tired..
and just going to
bed? i guess.
HAHA.

7:31:00 PM

2:19 am

well, i cant sleep...
my exam is in 6hrs time
and i cant sleep.

my bestfriend is going to thailand
and shes not bringing me!
HMPH!
ow well, ser if u reading this.
bring me someething good back!
:D

i miss baby.
i cant believe this..
the first "disturbing" call..
im sorry baby.
i hope to cu tumoro...
or friday?

this is not like him to off his fone.
i dont like ppl off-ing their fones
i have this very strange& awkward feeling
something is just not right.
i get very agitated? and i start worrying..
and if its at night..
i just cant sleep..

i remember the time when he offed his fone..
evryone(his family) and i were so worried that i called
his friend and his friend called his other friends.
all wondering where was he...
but when he got home he quickly called me
and apologized&said "im sorry baby, fone no batt!"
honestly i really freaked out.
ive never felt like dt b4..
actually ive never felt this way abt a guy b4..
yes! this makes you extra-extra special..

i love you..
dont you forget dt!

2:16:00 AM

Wednesday, November 21, 2007Y

itchy-buns.

HAHA.
im so bored!
studied until my brains all "rosak"
i feel much better now.
my throat doesnt hurt.my nose is a little stuffy
but im okay.
YAY!!

im caught in between the rihanna short hair
and the long vanessa hugens curly sexy hair.
HAHA
i dunno!!
but i think ill just
cut my hair like rihanna..
it looks nicer in dresses.

OoOo!
mom says ivee gone skinnier.
HAHA
very hard to believe.
but ill continue getting thinner.
:D not eating much for months really pays off.
and im repeating
not eating MUCH ...

mmm...
i have nothing else to say
at the moment.

Ps:
me going to klcc to walk.walk.walk!
HAHA

3:43:00 PM

Tuesday, November 20, 2007Y

this is long over due.

mmm.. i just felt like copying and pasting.
"i called baby to see wht she's up to"
"i wanna see baby...i miss you so so much...i wanna see you badly nw!!!...i wanna hold her in my arms...i wanna be with her right nw!!"
"i haven seen baby for 3 whole weeks....thts the worse...haizz this is killing me..i dunoe if i can cope with it..not bout college and all but not seeing baby...THTS KILLING ME!!!!"
"woke up this morning findin myself happy cuz i was gonna see baby...but than i reached college at 7 sth...and smsed her.."

something dt i wished u wud say now..
i really missed this one
"i called baby to see wht she's up to"
mmm..

nvm. times changed..
evrything changes..
even how much u cry
for it not to change ..
it will..

well, i dont complain.
as long as the love is still the same.
as long as the word "future"
has u&i init.
i dont complain.

5:54:00 PM

always&forever baby.
-a promise i make to you-

i don't know wheres baby.
he hasn't been answering my calls&replying my msgs.
im getting very concerned now.
very worried.

where is he?!
he is not like this.
even how busy he is he wud take time to
reply me!

:(

he took really good care of me yesterday.
he promised to come back today.
ive been waiting.
i just dont know.

i feel like running out of the house and
searching for him..
i miss him.

haiyo.
btw, im sort of well now.
just my nose is blocked BUT
my throat is good.
hehe
well, sort of.

i miss you!

4:43:00 PM

Monday, November 19, 2007Y

i just seriously dont feel well.

im sorry.

thanks for taking care of me today baby.

i love you.

8:34:00 PM

Sunday, November 18, 2007Y

Post no : 581

HAHA.
im so bored!

ive been thinking.
I love the movie coach carter!
me going to join BBall again&try to look for a soccer camp for girls .
haiz..
i miss being active HAHAHA.

after my exam im gonna chop off my hair
rihanna style.
HAHAHA

going on a christmas shoppin spree.
and my bestfriend is going to Aussieland!
PFFT!

baby went out.
i havent heard from him since.
im too tired to wonder.

1 lesson learnt.
dont wish to be sick!

ive been having weird dreams...
ben&i "sneaking" arnd.
HAHA.
well, sneaking frm my father.

i miss u!

9:20:00 PM

Saturday, November 17, 2007Y

Happy birthday jack-jack.
HAHA
though i don't know him.
but ive seen pixs and heard lots of stories abt this
"bundle of joy"
yep! he is turning 1yrs old.
and so cute.
he is a yr older then my "future" nephew.
hehe.

and today is also our 8th month together.

Happy 8th month anniversary baby.

i love you!

&this is my 58oth blog entry.

hahaha.

loads of things ha?
my exam is next week
and im so screwed!
its not that i havent studied.
its just dt im too sick to stand for 5hrs.
i dunno if i can do it.
no wait!
i can do it!

baby is in 1u celebrating jack2 birthday.
mmm...
baby's moms birthday next week Saturday.
and i dont think i can make it!
boohoo!
but i told baby dt ill buy mom's birthday cake.
dts the least i can do since i dont show up.
:D

honestly i feel so bad.

christmas is coming!
christmas is coming!
shopping!
and this new yrs eve..
is going to be diff..
instead of going to church and celebrating there.
im thinking to sleep over someones hsee.
and countdown..
mmm... i hope i can.

lots of ups and downs this month.
lots of crying too..
honestly, i have never cried this much.
expecially for a guy..
:)
dont mind the smiley face.
it means..
i lovee you!

PPl!
my sexay boy is dancing for Grease!
hahaha..
i just LOVEE repeating dt.
its so cool!
i love grease!
i love the songs!
i love john travolta
and his "SEXY" moves!
fuuh-yo!

haiyyo!
i cant speak. my throat just hurts more.
but i can type.
and yeah..

today MS was cancelled.
bloody lecturer had to go for emergency family prob?
our MS exam is in dec.
who wants to have a exam in dec?
and passing up the assignment is 12 of dec.
PFFT!
wat a way of spoiling our christmas.

OH! in jan is my nephews birth...
YAY!!
i want my benden&ser to be there to be the first to "preview" my nephew!
HEHEHHEHE.

i think ivee been writing alot..
till later!

6:59:00 PM

sick

so sick in bed.

3:54:00 PM

Friday, November 16, 2007Y

hmm...

well,well..
my internet works..
FINALLY!but its still abit
shitty :(

i havent blogged in ages.
HAHHA
i missed you my dear bloggy!
you know how torturing it is not to blog!
pfft!

im thinking to take off my password for awhile.
so random ppl can see my random posts.

so far!
im still sick!
well, last week was just fever and headaches.
this week is fever.headaches.cough.flu.stomach pains.loss of appetite.
AND
my exam is next week!

22.11.o7* pastry(12-3pm)
22.11.o7* Larder(3-4pm)

22.11.o7* Butchery(4-5pm)

mmm and the following week is theory.
pfft! i suree will get worse.
:(

but no! ill do my best.

today ben showed me a lovely video..
I TOLD YOU NOT to put
DT SONG!
ill CRY!
its a video of our life together so far.
sweetsweet :)

i love you baby!
thank you!

lets see..
today was quite okay.
im slowly getting the hang of it.
i hope.

a new song to dnld ppl.
jordin sparks* tattoo.

haiyo!
i need a new profile pix!
i need to go out!
shopping!!
i feel so sick dt i wanna go out and walk.
mmm...
i told ben i wud go hang out with his lovely friends.
hmm.. yeah i will.
when i get better.
hopefully i do.

anyways.
i think im gonna stop here..
my head is so pain!
and my throat hurts big time.
think im going to bed.

8:53:00 PM

Saturday, November 10, 2007Y

&i've been keeping all the letters that i wrote to you.
each with a line or two...
i'm fine baby, how are you?.

7:49:00 PM

please tell me why.

mmm.. today, we went to an orphanage.
its so sad cos they didnt pay their rent..
and they might get kicked out.
mmm.. and their lifestyle is so bad.
poor children.

anyways b4 we went..
we went to 1u to buy them kiddies food.
actually to donate it...
mmm...
they kept calling me mommy cos i always pushed the trolley.
HAHA
haiyo...

i just feel so ....
pffftt!

i love the westlife version of home..
but.. michael buble version is better.
:D

yeah.. i wanna go home..
my home is you.
i miss u.

7:15:00 PM

Thursday, November 08, 2007Y

Nevr find a love like this..

without a doubt.
You just don't know how much.

pfft!
i have to do my Malaysian studies assignment.
will do it later.

i have been getting missed calls from
a number
"withheld"
and i just cant call back!
i don't wanna pick up cos im afraid its dt
stoopid "fitnessfirst"
bloody annoying.

the sky's clear blue.
the sun's shining bright.
i feel like going out..
but i cant..
im meant to be at home
until i get married.

i love going blog hopping.
i think baby's friends blogs are interesting.
esp.. derrick.
he's a good blogger.
:D
i likee...
but mainly the pictures keep me track on baby's whereabouts.
i guess he's getting smarter cos i just don't see him in any pixs.

hmmm..
i envy u.
u've got great friends.

i don't see me having friends suprising me on my birthday.
HAHA.
i don't really care cos its not dt important to me
anyway.
i just wanna stay home..
listen to me ipod&blog.

next yr i'll be 17..
then the yr after 18..
which is meant to be special
BUT
i used up dt speciality.
for my sixteen.
besides i don't think ill be here..
ill be in switzerland.
oh great!
then i can bake a cupcake for myself
and wish myself happy birthday :D
hehe..

anyway,
today is deepavali..
going for a dinner later.
in dad's friends hse..
then on saturday keith wanna come over for dinner..

:D hmmm..
i havent seen u in ages..
and i really wanna see u.
but
its just there is NO time to see eachother.
luckily i didnt study somewhere else..
cos i wud deffi die!
just to see your face again.

:(
its so unfair!
but im not the one to complain...

anyway.
happy deepavali to all you..
dt includes u
LANA SAYANG!
I LOVE U.

11:33:00 AM

Wednesday, November 07, 2007Y

OooOlala'

i havent seen you in ages.
till today.

i love u.

7:56:00 PM

when You're gone..

haha.
i hate this song..
but its the only song playing in my mind
for now.

5:06:00 PM

Tuesday, November 06, 2007Y

i just realized..

ive been blogging for 1yr and 2 mnths :D
Yay! hehehhe...

7:30:00 PM

i miss you...

i realized i dont take as much pixs as i use to b4..
i know i know. i look absolutely Fattish here.
HAHAHA.

i miss my baby.
he is Soo sick..
hehehe.
it seems we've been having so many "downs" lately..
well, for 3 nights in a row we havee been
arguing?
abt things..
BUT ...
even so i lovee him for being him!
i remember some "BIG nosed" birdy telling me
it wudnt last..
HAHAHA..
now look how FAR we've gonee BIRDY!
shooshoo! fly away.
cos we deffi dont like the shitty things dt comes out of ure mouth!

it seems college friends are way much diff..
well, first thing..
i dont trust them
secondly,
you think they talk shit behind uree back.

haiyo..
nvm...
i dont need them anyway.

im in love with dt song Blind by lifehse.
dt cute pix of benden singing it to me in the car :D
bcos of him..
i love this song.

honestly,
ppl say its too soon to say cos im so young.
BUT
i can see this going on forever.

despite our silly problems.
i love him...
i wud do anything just for him.
ppl say its stupid to say forever and stuff.
i use to believe so..
but now i totally dissagree..

yes yes!
you idiots may still think imma child?
but im so sure my fairytale wud have a very good happy ending.

1:39:00 PM

Monday, November 05, 2007Y

You are my inspiration to blog!

HAHA.
Oh yes you are.
i feel like bitching today.
but due to the circumstances
dt im sick..
i have no heart to do so.

just finished the last of my assignment.
My chemical romance is coming to town
BUT
i cant go!
dad said i cant
and i have no money.
HAHA
ow well,
im just crossing-fingers and counting the days when Falloutboy will
COME to KL!
must save up!
must see them!!

pete wentz is my hero!
he speaks the Good word!

havent been blogging in ages.
i missed the Halloween partay.
ben&my 8th month together is coming up.
my bro has a LONG deepavali holiday.
and i only have a day of holiday.
my exam is coming up soon.
i cant wait for dec holiday..

OMGOSH!
this is to my monyet!
BABE!SER*! if u read this..
i have a idea for our next sleepover.
after exams.
we go shopping&movie&lunch&dinner...
then sleepover :D :D

hehehe.
ive got nothing better to do..
i need an outing!
one day dad's gonna held a dinner.
My family&sue's family&ser's family.
Yeee :)
fun fun.

her friends are funny.
esp idan?
the "scary video guy"
hehe
i cant forget wen her cuzzin sent us this note stating
"never watch scary videos in front of a door or window
cos a small girl or guy wud pop out... blah blah"
was scary..
both of us were freakin' out.
But then it seems its fake.
HAHA
she made it up...

watching transformers.
AGAIN!
hehe..
nicee movie.
im planning to go watch
3o days of night alone.
cos i wanna be scared!
HEHE
a new movie called Game plan? coming up..
emm its staring dt WWE wrestler.. the rock?
hehehe..
he is so sexy!
hehehe..
i like it wen he does dt eyebrow thingy.
and i started copying it.
hehe
tsktsk.
when ure young ure just so curious.

i feel like drawing.
i miss drawing.
BUT!
my markers have no ink :(
i guess im gonna buy..
since tumoro me gonna go buy paper for my assignment.
i LOVE butchery class!
hehehehhe
i love pastry more!
hehee

next sem im gonna get my blazer
and the subs im studying is

food&hygiene
hospitality studies
Ms(moral studies)
menu planning
french? maybe..

i not sure. but i do wanna learn french.
i wanna learn THAI!
but ask me to study bm&chinese..
i dont want!
cos i hear it tooo often ..
hehehe..

okay okay..
this is just boredom talking!
gtgs.

10:55:00 PM