lovely together; I love you

Sunday, August 31, 2008Y

you still suck!
dont bother trying!

"Dont bother making friends with her cos she deffi doesnt want to be friends with you.. keep calling her a bitch! and bitch face her. then she knows her place..and she'll know she needs to FUCK THE HELL OFF!once a bloody giant slutty.. always one :) im here for you.. you know dt! if she bothers you.. ill come after her."
-My bebot? gang-

hello again.
this is me..
im getting sick of slutties&their stoopid lala "clubbin" pixs.
why cant you take a pic of you getting hit by a fuckin' bus!
yes! all you.. you.. Lala.. curly hair fish fuck ugly girls!

i thank gawd i wasnt born with sepet eyes..
no doubt ive got curly hair aswell..
but its not like a half straightened&curl..
stoopid i tell you.

anyway,
*phew**
lastnight.. drink drink till 2 am.
not the best!
i mean.. the longest was 5am!
hehehhe

going in and out for a random smoke trip :)
gosh!!!
dead tired now..
hahahhahahhaha

gtgs :)
prepare for tonites drinking session :P

:)

5:33:00 PM

Saturday, August 30, 2008Y

"dee says: b.e.n.n.y"

hello..
i feel terrible today :(
my body aches and im so bored.

spent one whole long day with baby.
and well, "Happy, happy, joy, joy!"
uh huh..
funny..
its so weird..
one day im very insecure&the next im so happy.
Gosh! "you shud know what to do now!"

just wanna apologize for my previous post.
going to delete it..
and if its still there.
sorry.

"&i know id be okay. though my skies are turning grey."

i will never let you fall..
ill stand up with you forever..

Oh! dnld Jason mraz ft. colbie calliat - Lucky.
my new found love song :D
its just so sweet.
i think its an old song.. i dont know.
but its so nice :)

gtgs! im dead tired :D

11:18:00 AM

Thursday, August 28, 2008Y

"you know what..you talk alot of bullshit!."

i just dont know what i have gotten myself into
for the past 1yr and 5mnths.

i really dont know.
You can promise me alot of things.
but honestly, you are just messing up ure first real relationship.
well..if dt is what you think it is.

too many lies go in one ear and out the other.
ive become so numb to all your nagging&ure sensitivity.
it just doesnt hurt me like it use too way back.

someone once told me.
if you do love someone..no matter what they come first.
if you say you love someone..another girl doesnt even matter to you.( NOT EVEN CALLING OR MSGING HER STOOPID BOY!)
if you say you love someone..even how unreasonable they may seem. you still pursue her dreams.
if you do love someone..well, its love :D

maybe this 1yr and 5mnths
is not what we think it is.
its more of a habit relationship.
You call them,mgs&see them for so long..
dt you HAVE to do so.
just to please the other person.. but your mind is not one.. its all scattered.
yeah.. maybe it is so..

i dont know.
i find it hard to trust you.
You dont seem what you say you'll do.

i love my darlings for actually putting some sense in my head.
Thank you.

its not that i dont love you..
silly, i do.
too much that gosh! i just dont know anymore.
its difficult really. when your hearts are only said to be one..
but actually one is commited and the other got other plans with his life.
yeah.

i hate to think dt im only arnd to make you happy.
to satisfy you when ever you are lonely.
yeah.. you only do comeover when you have nothing to do.
you never ever did ask me out once..
i have to be the one to say so..
yeah. so i guess im just the "oh! i got nothing to do" girlfriend.
sakit hati tak?

you just dont know how i feel.
to see ppl. friends or whoever..
just enjoying their time together
holding hands& all.
but you? are just so malu. WHY?
why are you so Malu? afraid..
she will see and get jealous or angry?
COME ON!
who is your GIRLFRIEND?
i think girlfriend is just a title.
its something you can show off to ppl
but deep inside..its not me.
you only say. but i dont see it.

i am honestly tired of thinking of nonsense..
i just really wanna know..
"are you with me? or are you with her?"
dont lie to me cos you are afraid to lose me
or be another john tucker in my history book.
tell me the honest truth.. im tired of just hearing things&believing
but not even shown any improvements.

yesterday, you were so sweet.
why? i havent seen dt boy in like since highschool.
is it cos your friends are there? and you wanna show off to them?
or isit cos someone went home already and you can do whatever you want?
im sorry but you wanna show off to them. dont use me..
im not a toy or what!
you want? u use her?!
ahh.. she enjoys things like dt..
once a bitch, always a bitch!

okay then..
this post will be up for a while and im gonna delete it.
will you see this?
i dont know.
i hope not.

cu.

11:51:00 AM

Wednesday, August 27, 2008Y

hello world!

im bored :(

stuck in coll due to heavy downpour.
tsk tsk..

isnt it a dream come true to have your boyfriend sit next to you?
yeah...
i dont think so!!!

he angry at me oh!

hahahaha

im just bored.
i want to go home.

listen,
i did speak to her today.
she seems scared.

but there is something abt her.
i dont know.

My friend say...

"if he does go to her. i cant blame her...

cos she is an idiot and a nobody back in highschool& now also.

if he would fall for her tricks.. he is a bigger idiot!

so dont worry and dont be afraid.. trust me. ull be laughing at him

if ever it does happen."

dt look she gave me..

is the same look..

my adorable north korean friend gave me.

it just scares me.

its like looking thru a time glass?

and u see ure past.

GOSH!

nvm..whatever!

really!
but oh well..
whatever happens..
let it happen :D

so three cheers to

LUST!

HIPP HIPP HORRAY!

cu then my dear

finishing off with,
"Goodbye my dear friend.
you've always been there for me."

6:17:00 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2008Y

my 700th and 4th post :)

hey you,
loads been going on.
im bored. and well,
life sucks dont you think?
i wish my daddy was filthy rich! :(
i wish i could live in a tree house :)

im such a blog hopper?
ive been to many blogs.
and i went to one.. which
well, the girl is my role model!
hehehehe.
she's hot. her hair is super cool :)
its short but its dyed red :p
her friends are so cool :D
there is one girl with red hair aswell..
and um.. GOSH! so hot !
hehehhehehe

i need..
a make over!
dang!
how!?

HAHAHAHA..
okay. this raya holiday..
im going FULLTROTAL!
im going for a make over..
and i dont care.

i got scars on my left arm bcos of the stoopid hot oil!
Grrrr!
but its okay.
im getting rid of it slowly :)

i obviously need a break.
i need out but then im scared.
:(
i hang less with my friends. i hang less with my boyfriend.
whats wrong with me!?

urgh!!
i dont know.
im all scattered.
i just dont know what to do right..

i studied in the wrong college.
with the wrong course.
i should be in Lim "cock" wing
studying Interior designing or photography.
honestly, my mind is more on my dad's creativity side.
i dont know why i took culinary.
damn!

i should be staying in a dorm with my new found friends.
partaying all night and studying by the day.
i should be playing around with all the guys
BUT then..
i know my place in society.
that was just not meant for me.
i love my boyfriend. i do. i do.
i just pissed him off..
and well, sorry seems to be the hardest word?
"WHATS THE POINT IN SAYING IM SORRY WHEN YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DO IT AGAIN"
-B-

why cant i learn my bloody lesson.
isit dt hard?
what is so wrong with me!
gosh! so i really dont know.
i dont think he will call too say goodnight.
im just going to sleep with a tear in my eye.
even if he did call me. what am i suppose to say?
i dont know.
i feel... stoopid.

STOOPID DENISE!
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!
yeah.. i am bringing myself down.
stoopid denise. stoopid denise. stoopid denise.
stoopid denise. stoopid denise. stoopid denise.
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alrite then.
goodnight.

9:05:00 PM

Monday, August 25, 2008Y

"with the love of their life who feels what i feel when im with you."

i know u going to read this serra!

i lovee my benny!!

8:13:00 PM

"and i realize that i really didnt know."

is it just me or did i just accuse someone for no apparent reason?
she is a bitch and i do hate her.
but am i wrong to do so?

i dont know. now, im so confused.
after dt 2yrs ago incident.
im just so taken back by it.
dt my present relationship has to suffer for it.
i guess i am wrong.
maybe it is my fault.
my stoopid peanut brain..
i dont know what to think.

i read something dt made me feel.
even my competiton has the same prob as well.
oh gosh!
i feel like a damn fool..

i wanna go for avril lavigne concert..
but i dont know.

anyway, hope will be fine.
i HAVE to be nice to her.

1:41:00 PM

Saturday, August 23, 2008Y

awww..dts so sweet.

honestly, you just make me smile.
i hope i stay this way.
i love i when you..

hehehehe
i dont know why but half thai&indons
just make me weak :)
my daddy and mom thinks its awful!
but i just melt for them :P

so they think id marry one
someday.

sorry boys! my eyes are set for only one boy in my life :)

fuck the desperate fishie!
:)

7:49:00 PM

1.

Where did you kiss the last person you kissed?
betwen the bars of my front gate :")

2 .

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today?
i won :)

3.

How many TRUE best friends do you have?
well, a couple :)

4.

Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
get up early&sleep in.

5.

Tell me about the shirt you’re wearing?
it has my fav car onit!

6.

What are you excited about right now?
thailand!

7.

Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth?
cry over the truth.

8.

What’s on your bedroom floor right now?
clothes!

9.

Who’s the last person you got into a argument with?
him :(

10.

Do you trust people?
trust is not free nowadays.

11.

If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move?
somewhere far away. tropical. with pure white sand and clear waters.

12.

Your favorite number?
87

13.

Could you go a day without eating?
yeah.

14.

How much do looks matter to you in a guy/girl?
40%

15.

Do you like anybody right now?
hahaha :)

16.

When was the last time you had your hair cut?
jan

17.

Would you rather be mad or sad?
mad!

18.

Does it take a lot to make you cry?
nope.

19.

Whats the best feeling in the world?
when my Psychotic friends go on a rampage :)

20.

Are you close with your mom?
sorta.

21.

Are your parents strict?
hell yeah. and hating it.

22.

Do you tell your parents everything?
sometimes.

23.

Name some fears you have:
despearate fishie and her disgusting love charms.

24.

Does the thought of marriage scare you?
nope.

25.

How many kids do you want?
hahaha 4?

26.

What’s your favorite season?
all seasons.

27.

What’s your favorite color to wear?
black.

28.

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
me.

29.

What are you doing today?
sleep.

30.

Do you get bored easily?
yeah.

31.

What’s something that someone can do that really bothers you?
say shes hot.

32.

Did you ever want to change your name when you were younger?
yeah! to julianna... honestly, its true!

33.

Do you wish you were famous?
when i grow up..

34.

Do you make a wish at 11:11?
hahahaha. yeah *baby!*

35.

When you go to the beach do you swim or lay out more?
lay out.

36.

Who’s the last text message you received from and what did it say?
ben- i love you too.

37.

What are you freakishly obsessed with?
STUFF

38.

What’s your favorite song at the moment?
when i grow up.

39.

Do you like going to the mall to shop or just shopping online?
mall!

40.

Can music affect your mood?
yeah.

41.

What piercings do you want?
hahaha..my tongue :) and my lip :D

42.

Have you ever been in a cave?
yeah. batu caves.. duh!

43.

Ever eaten a bug?
yeah :P

44.

Are you in a good mood?
sorta.

45.

Would you rather skydive or bungee jump?
skydive

46.

Do you like snakes?
hahaha.. errrm..

47.

What’s one place you would like to visit?

thailand! indonesia.

48.

Do you like waffles?
hehhe yeah.

49.

Does the number 23 have any significance to you?
nope.

50.

Be honest, do you like people in general?
yeah.

51.

What color are the walls in your bedroom?
green.

52.

Do you think starbucks is expensive?
sorta.

53.

Are you named after a family member?
nope.

54.

Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass or fail?
fail.

55.

Wanting to tell someone something?
YESH!VERY MUCH!

56.
Last restaurant you went to?
some german restaurant.

57.

What is the weather like today?
rainy,.

58.

What happened yesterday?
went out.

59.

What would you do with five million dollars?
marry my boy!

60.

How many hours did you sleep last night?
8hrs?

61.

Any upcoming concerts you want to attend?
AVRIL LAVIGNE!

62.

Who’s the last person that you felt was stalking you?
HAHAHAHA. cant mention him here. but you who know me. knows who.

63.

Have you cried today?
NOPE

64.

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
i dont know.

65.

Does it annoy you when someone says they’ll call, but never do?
yeah. hehehhehe sortoff.

7:22:00 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008Y

nobody compares to you. and you know she'll never love you like i do.

hahaha. hey! im bored :)
i feel extra happy now.

i hope i stay this way.
stoopid fishie! in your face bitch!
yeah he's my baby. not yours..
so you dont have to work all your desperate nonsense
cos it aint working.

:D smiles all around.
thank you so much baby.
i lovee you lots lots lots!

8:21:00 PM

Monday, August 18, 2008Y

she admits to herself : "yeah! im desperate and im a fucking fishiee"
- A -

hey ya'll..
its all be sorted out again!
.. errmmm.. i hope he does mean everything he says.

"i prove to you that i love you, cos i really do baby."
-B-

dts very sweet of him.
had a goodnight sleep :)
dreamt of zombies!
it was so scary :S

"why isit you allow me to send K home but not her? cos ure scared?"
hahaha!
i dont know dt bitchy fishhie lips so i dont want you to send her home.
when im stranded you do offer me a ride homee.
but you give me other options aswell.
why is she so special?
haha.. nvm i do hope its just once.
i dont wanna hear you send her to coll and take her home whenever she wants cos dts too
much!

stoopd desperate fishhie lips.
why cant you make friends with someone else!

dts abt it it..
:)

12:06:00 PM

Sunday, August 17, 2008Y

i dont see you, i see right through you!

im so exhausted!
i couldnt sleep at all!
ive been tossing and turning since 12am.
well, i came back from a party you see and it ended really late.

and i have been up since then.
my eyes are very droopie but i cant close them

anyway,
how should i start this post?
firstly,
You just bring out the monster in me.
dear readers answer me this:
do you think its fair to constantly msg a friend, seeing them when ure classes end
calling them just to know if it is doing just fine and well, you dont give the same attention
to your love one and tell them to deal the fuck with it. ppl change!!
so, is it fair?

seems like the friend is more of a loved one and you are just a friend huh?
*sigh*

since i cant say it out to him.
i rather say it in here.

firstly,
i have no reason to dislike such girl.
i think she is nice in her own sluttish&desperate way.
but you made me dislike her.
i really dont know what to believe.
i know i should be compromising.
but i just cant.
its too unfair to be compromising..
you say "i love you" with those truthful eyes
but deep inside dt look is guilt. i can see it but im too stubborn to admit it.
why hold on to something you have built for years..when you got something
so desperate and fresh?
isit becos you are afraid what ppl will think?
you just dont want to let go cos of how i will feel?
or you just wanna hold on cos its the longest you've ever been in a relationship
and even ure unhappy you just want to hold on to it?
c'mon...i have been there and done that.
honestly, the more you hang on. the harder it gets.
i cant simply tell you to ignore her and forget her cos that will be very mean of me...
even if i have the right..
HA-HA.. oh yeah! like you aree even fair to me?!
but sincee its like this. if you are very unfair to me. then i shud be fair to her.
if she makes you happy then im just going to step down.
if she is so desperate and needs you so much then be it!
im just going to turn blind..
and if it is true..
im just going to walk away laughing to myself.
i constantly ask myself:
where did i go wrong? what isit i didnt do to make it turn out like this?
but then again..
im just going to get heaps of shouting and anger.
and nothing will be solved.

you promise me so many things,
i do everything to make "US" work.
but i feel.. i shouldnt try anymore.
when you want to see me..
then see me.. if you want to call me..
call me..if you want to msg me..
msg me..
if you think its better to msg her&see her&call her cos shes moree open and interesting
SO BE IT.
im just going to lay back
and watch this relationship die or grow.
i WANT YOU to do all the "trying to make this work"
i just dont want to anymoree..
im SICK OF IT!

*sigh*sigh*
oh! ive had enuf..
well, this is what i feel.
i dont know if this is even true..
it may not be..
never know.. but then at this point.
yeah... she craves for your attention.
she DOESNT know you have a gf.
cos if she does she wouldnt be like that.
You have lied to me.. one to many times.
and im going to return you the favour.
no more bullshit pls! no moree lies!

i DONT see you anymore, i see right THROUGH you.

signing of my saying
i dislike bad english..sluttish&desperate rich girl!
(yeah, dont get all WTF! i only dislike 1 girl)

8:56:00 AM

Wednesday, August 13, 2008Y

paperhearts :)

im bored! and its 12 in the afternoon.
precisely, 1 more day till its back to coll!
and well, i didnt really enjoy my holiday one bit.

i guess dts it for now.
unless, something falls from the sky
or someone decided to come see me today.
pfft! yeah right.

12:06:00 PM

Tuesday, August 12, 2008Y

randomness of the day:

"i need you like a heart,need to beat but its nothing new.
i loved you with the fire red but now its turning blue
and you say sorry like an angel. heaven made me think it was you."

it will all get better in time..

hey! wassup world?
tehehehe.
woke up at 1o today.
spent the whole night watching
MOVIES!
i cant believe i actually missed my favourite tv serie
over some stoopid movie.

im living in between the lines of
leona lewis-better in time.
she's my heroine.
i just absolutely adore her voice.
love her songs :)

anyway,
there is this boy right,
and he told me he has gotten his real first kiss.
im so proud of him.
he's the man!

so my dear readers,
dts all for today :)

1:24:00 PM

Monday, August 11, 2008Y

i will never let you fall,
ill stand up with you forever.

im gonna remember you,
you're gonna remember me.

im bored!
i need something extra special.
he came home early.
cos the guys dissappeared.
just glad the girls accompanied him.

tehehehe...
nothing much to say.
im going off to do my own thing.

dumdeedum :)

ps: i lovee my new skin!!

7:45:00 PM

Sunday, August 10, 2008Y

reality...

hey you!
didnt post anything yesterday.
was out the whole day.
well, i went to the curve..
watched a movie.
i got to see ben.. well, yeah.
and that will last me for like wat?
another wk or 2..
i watched the mummy.
it was okay :)
alex o'connell is so HOT!
hehehhe
had dinner and stuff.
blah blah.
glad to see him though..
then i said something that pissed him off and well,
i didnt get my goodnight kiss.

at that point.
it just hit me!
why am i the one trying so hard to make this relationship work?
i should be concerntrating on my own thing then flying around in the clouds.
yeah, well..
to all you girls,
i dont want to spoil your fantasy dream or whatsoever.
but WAKE UP!
pull yourself out of the fairytale dream that one day ure going to marry dt boy.
honestly, in reality..
it doesnt work like that.
i couldnt careless..i cared too much that im just fedup.
i want to be cared for!i want to be the one whom he stays up to worry for.
but then again..its not my fate.
oh well..

honestly, yesterday.
i didnt expect him to come.
i thought it would be a family outing.
not that i regret seeing.
i really wanted to see him.
its just dt..
i dont know..i want him to be with his friends moree.
i see him happier that way. i just want him to be happy.
soon they're going to go their own seperate ways..
and communication. random outings for a game of pool
or bball or dodge ball.. breakfast.lunch and dinner at their favourite
places would become history..
and i just dont want him to leave with so lil memories.
ill always be here.
even if im neglected of whatsoever..
im always here for the ones i love.
but one day they wouldn't.

had some random heart to heart talk with my mom..
she started talking abt ben and where he's going to work.
i told her dt i dont want him to work there cos i just dont like it.
she told me..not to worry cos if dt guy is really meant for you.
he will come back to you. i told her dt im living in fear but then
ill always be living in the same hse or in australia..
and my place is always open for visits.
she compared me to my dear sister.
and the outcome is "im so giving but never takes anything in return."
result in that is..another mistake.
she kept asking me why ben doesnt pamper me and showers me with
material things.
well, i would really love that. really i do, but then..
i couldnt careless.
he is studying. not working.
he does pay for me. and dts better then material things (i guess)
and i dont want to bug him all the time.
he needs his space. he needs time alone.
so yeah. it doesnt matter to me.
as long as he dont forget to see me once a wk or month or yr.
he dont forget those days dt are special.
im fine with the fact we just msg&call eachother.
it doesnt bother me.
my friends think..it sucks but then..
to me.. im happy to atleast know he is doing well.

yeah so,
there's this boy right&
he kinda has my heart.
he held it so tight.
but then he let go.
it got lost.
then found.
now its hiding in a safe zone.
hoping..

this post is just full of crap.
evry random thing dt is fluttering tru my mind is coming out.
HAHAHAHA.
so dear readers,
dont bother reading yeah?

8:31:00 PM

Friday, August 08, 2008Y

stop and stare.

hi there!
i just gotta start with.
"its just repulsive! her desperation puts me off."
there. i said it.

tehehehehe.
waiting for them to get ready.
im going out somewhere today :)
my dear munnie has started coll adi.
and im home waiting for my turn
*whistles*

this holiday has been boring
yet dramatic&lonely.
i didnt expect it to turn out like this.
as far as i planned my holiday.
id be at the beach..collecting seashells or
at my bestfriends hse for another crazee sleepover
or a clubbin' adventure or even a outing with my college mates.
but then things dont always go as planned.
well, becos of a stoopid trip that has been procrastinated for
2wks and a flu been spreading arnd the hse.
i am forced to stay home like a bum
while all my friends get to go out and enjoy.

i havent had my frequent visitor come by for a wk.
its just torturing.
but then again.. i guess he is busy.
i dont meddle in btwn..its non of my business.
i decided to "GO GREEN!"
save the earth thats my motto..

i wanna live in a tree hse.
by the beach?
eat fruits and veges all day :)
"fantasies and movies get the best of me."

im all abt relaxation baby!
im so stressed!!! well, i was like awk ago.
but then i sorted things out.
and now i just couldnt careless.
as long as i know he is on my side :)

dnld viva la vida by coldplay.
its such a nice song! :)
and disturbia..
woohoo!!

alrite then, im going to go wait to them.
whats taking them so long!

1:36:00 PM

Thursday, August 07, 2008Y

i like you jus the way you are.

heya!its me again.
im bored at home.
i dont know if we are really going on a trip!
i need out!!!

i had a dream.
i was living in the same room as him.
the IHTM2 dude!
gosh..
and i had a smoking zone in my backyard!
hahaha.
it was sweet but somehow he was angry :(
i dont know why.

hahahahaha..
oh gosh!i hate being on holidays.
first of all i cant see him.
second of all im bored.
But then his gf is on holiday with me.
tehehehe.
i wonder how is she hanging on..

i heard from a friend that
she is under hse arrest.
pity her.
i guess he visits her often.
and my friend did mention he is busy with assignments and stuff.
hmm... i hope he is doing well,
dont want him to stress out.
btw! he did msg me today.
he wished me good morning.
awww.. dts sweet.
if it wasnt for that darn gf!
oh well, as long as she doesnt know whats going on then its fine.

ill be a very good girl and test his sincerity.
ill see how far can i go with him.
:P

hehehehehehehe
dont get me wrong dear readers,
im not inlove with some random guy who is taken.
hahaha.
if you know me.
then u'd understand.
if you dont then.. ask arnd.
who is from IHTM2.
who is from CULA2.
hahahaha

12:36:00 PM

Wednesday, August 06, 2008Y

"the smell of your skin lingers on me now."

hello world, good morning :)
i feel awesomly happy today..
one of my fones are barred due to overdue payment.
i think its my fault!
i told myself not to use it much and go onlinee...
but NOOO... something i just cant resist.

so, theres this boy right.
and he hasnt msgd me all morning.
he usually does and im waiting for the sms.
i think i like him.
i cant seem to tell him cos he is too busy with his work and all.
well, he studies in the same college.
he is in IHTM2.
he's just the cutest.
gosh! i think im in love.
but there's this thing.
theres someone else.
he has a gf.
the sweetest girl you can ever find.
she is in CULA2
and they are just adorable together.
im jealous but im just the "other" girl.
if only i get that one day to tell him how i feel.
oh!pls do give me that one day.

:)
im so bored at home!!!
and my stomach is just not feeling me.
okay

gtgs. :)

10:42:00 AM