Sunday, March 30, 2008Y

this blog is no longer in use.

Thank you :D

almost 2yrs of blogging.
thanks..
You helped me in some way :D

1:23:00 PM

Saturday, March 29, 2008Y

its just an observation.

we ARE drifting apart.
enuf said.

well actually.
no comment..

Goodnight Cruel world :)

11:38:00 PM

**no comment**

-sleeping-
:please do not disturb:

5:35:00 PM

Friday, March 28, 2008Y

listen to
akon- Sorry, Blame It On Me.
it means alot..
actually makes me feel happy :D

7:43:00 PM

it just doesnt feel right

"The days they turn into years
The eyes they drown in tears
Can you hear me scream?"

somethings wrong somewhere.
i can feel it.
something is just not working out.
something is bugging in between..

i just heard something..
and i feel super bad.
okay, imagine this..
you really care for someone so much.
you call to see if they're okay.
you sms to see wat they've been up to.
you worry like hell when they're hurt or in trouble.
but then to realize they dont care nuts about you.
yep hurts right?.
pityy, pityy.

u know whats sad..
waiting by the phone for no reason.
hahahahahahhahaa..
pity you.

listen to cassie- is it you.

hmmmm..
got my results..
1b.1d.1F!
hmmmmm...
sucky results but ill do better.

next week back to a hectic schedule.
7or8am-5or6pm.
everyday except thursdays.
sucks! cos my birthday is on a thurrsday.
wait! why am i so hyped up about me birthday.
im not expecting anything..
its just a normal day :D

lets see..
was promised to go out to 1u.
but ended up babysitting.
:( im all sticky..
im just not gonna say anything.

idiotic bloggg..

must be deleted.
im always meaning to do this.
but somehow, i havee no heart to do so..
this is the oldish blog format. which allows all those nicee nice
layouts.
hmmm... idk!

i miss my baby,
i hope he misses me too.

hmmm...
im not insane.im just too emotional.
dont like it?
hello-goodbye :D

6:43:00 PM

Thursday, March 27, 2008Y

absence makes the heart grow fonder.

this is so true.
read an article about it.
if you were to be with uree partner
day and night.
one day, you would get sick of it.

4o% of break ups is cos they need "space"

haiyooo..
im so bored at homee wanted to go 1u.
but then..
we stayed in aunts hsee too longg.
its so stoopid.

You take away my social lifee..
you take away my everything..
and now you want to take away my computer.
Fuck this!
gosh!

6:18:00 PM

feelings, sometimes you wish not to feel.

do u ever feel you've known someone for so long..
and think they're your whole world.
but as time goes by you realize they are not who
they expect to be?

**sigh**
this is too all you naive girls.
think before you spread them legs.

well, my sister is going thru HELL!
yes..HELL!
and because of her.
getting married is a "phobia" to me.
i feel so bad for her.
i know that its her fault and all
but she didnt know she wud marry an asshole like HIM.
which i dont want to repeat.

"i deffi dont want a history repeating itself."

With every kiss and every hug
You make me fall in love
And now I know I can't be the only one
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight
With the love of their life who feel
What I feel when I'm with you
And I will never try
To deny that you are my whole life
'Cause if you ever let me go
I would die so I won't run
I just need you or nothing
'Cause if I got that
Then I'll be straight
Baby you're the best part of my day
-chris brown-

im just full of it.
maybe im just blind.
i lovee you. YOU know i do.
even if the whole world would end.
id comee running to you..

"do u ever call him up to tell him that your thinking of him
and wonder if he is thinking of you too. you wud buy yourself the most
expensive dress and wonders if he wud notice??"

oh yeah.. somehow they wouldnt show how much they appreciate you.
if only they cud trade places with us.. then they wud know how we feel.
yep, its taken from a movie.
i watched it a second time&when dt part came..
i bursted into tears.

somehow, you lovee someone so much.
they hurt you, they do stoopid shit which dont mean much harm.
they apologize.. you say its okay. but deep insidee..
you want them to hold you&kiss you.
really really REALLY assure you that what he says is so true.

have you ever felt.
You heart cracked by a previous love..
and someone helped you fix it back together.
but then that someone tears it apart bit by bit.
just the same as the previous one.
i have felt that, i just dont care.

listen to
will.i.am- heartbreaker..
its so nicee :D

"Where it's at
I know karma's coming to pay me back
Im with the sweetest thang thats on the map
I broke her heart in 30 seconds flat
In 30 seconds flat

Now how did i
Just how did I become that kind of guy
To look at girl and lie right in the eye
My momma told me willy that aint right
Boy now that aint right"

my post is full of scrambled crap.
cos i feel pretty much scrambled today.
i cant handle pressure.
im just like a machine..
id breakdown.

so guys show them how much you appreciate them
lovee them likee honey?
kiss them, hug them likee you wont see them again.
be with them every waking moment of your life.
You never know when it would just disappear.

i miss my baby,
i hope he misses me too.

12:10:00 PM

Monday, March 24, 2008Y

"But How
Do you expect me
To live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you
its so hard for me to breathe

Tell Me How im supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live can't breathe with no air
thats how i feel whenever you ain't there
Its No Air No Air
Got me out here in the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me
if you ain't here i just can't breathe
Its No Air No Air."

hurrrr...givee me a purrr :DD
hehehehe
im bored.

i just watched the movie like 2hrs ago..
:) memories.
it made me smile&cry :D
but im just gonna smilee ..

"way back into lovee"
yikes :D

i helped someone cheat in a test!
by sms'n!!!
am i good or wat?
but somehow i feel used?
errrrr.. feelingss..nothing moreee but feelings :(

"Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe it"

i miss my baby.
i hope he misses me too.

2:56:00 PM

*sigh**

its 12 am.
and i just cant sleep.
i feel very bad for some reason.
and my hearts beating fast..
like i did something wrong.

i dont know.

if i wud be granted one wish.
i wud wish to be emotionless.

im in love with the song with you by chris brown.
its a sweet song.
but its only a song..
ahahahahhahaha

im gonna be honest here okay.
i reaally dislike late night calls..
i dont look forward to them like i used too
but somehow id be caught lying next to the fonee
staring at it from 9-11 waiting for it to ring.

nvm.. dts just me.
"i wud smilee, even if the world is gonna end."

out of things to say.
no comment.

"Moodless"

12:35:00 AM

Sunday, March 23, 2008Y

"Dont waste your time on me. You're already a voice inside my head,
i miss you."
-blink 182-

went to the curve today.
upstairs got some bangla bangla songs..
downstairs somee WWF thingy.
and outside.. somee dunno..
saw cheerleaders.

curve was okay.
kinda boring though.
i didnt want to go there.
i wanted 1u.
but someone had to make such a big fuss..

today is Easter.
woke up at 4am
for somee easter sunrisee thingy.
and im still wide awake.
hmmm.... just another 3o mins
till my movie.
awwww :DD
"im all smiles"

okay my left cheek&eye has been twitching.
my right means trouble.
my left means???
i dont know .. its between thinking/talking/missing..
one of those.. thank you for appreciating me.
but its been 2 hrs..
is uree mouth sore from talking about me?
or is ure head aching from thinking about me?
or is ure body itching from missing me?
okay whatever it is.
it has been twitching for 2hrs now.
and im getting annoyed.
Sorry!

it rained heavily today..
and i got scared from the thunder.
ahahhahahhah..
nvm..guess its just me.
:D

**sigh**
frustration.
loneliness.
~~depression.~~

tahehehehehehehehehe..

8:07:00 PM

Saturday, March 22, 2008Y

dont look at the legs!
look at the 2 zoo negara escapees.

"pictures of you,

pictures of me, all upon your wall

for the world to see.

pictures of you,

pictures of me,

to remind us all of what we use be."

when classes finish early.
this is what we do..
Go smoking zone :D
ahhahahah

its likee totally empty.
just 4 of us sitting there..
hahaha..

went for moral.
and there were only 12 ppl.
but fun :D
hahahahhahaha...

well, i got home and went straight to bed.
i waited for a moment in coll for my baby.
but he didnt show.
oh well, i was hungry!
i needed fuel.
bought nasi lemak :D
turns out his sister took his car.

i felt so lonesomee :(
hahahhaa.
aww..i needed someone.
i still do.
we have 2 different lives.
but our heart is ONE.
does dt makee u feel any better?
not to me.

"Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late"

i miss my baby.
i hope he misses me too :)

4:11:00 PM

Friday, March 21, 2008Y

Are you truly in love?

You're in love!! Good Job :]

Yay!! You are in love and I hope you are enjoying it but dont rush it it will happen by itself.

hello world!
im just moody
but!
ill get thru it.

im sick&tired
but not too tired to smile.

i envy people.friends.
but i shudnt.

faith hill's there u'll be
is putting a huge smile on my face :D
hahahhaha..
awwww...

i miss my baby.
i hope he misses me too..

its funny im fine today :)
was suppose to go 1u.
but u know today is Good friday.
i dont knoww..
mst stay home.
suppose to go church.
but my brother got tution.
havee to stay homee and wait.

i cooked cheese omelette for breakfast.
nobody ate cos they weree tooo busy.
only my sister did :D
she loveess CHEESE.
hehehe

i dont feel so good.
im signing off :DD

when will fallout boy ever comee to KL
if they do..
i'd be jumping for joy :DD

6:25:00 PM

Wednesday, March 19, 2008Y

Moodless&useless.

im not allowed to go out?
its so stoopid!
i got scolded for mentioning i want to go out and walk.
WTH?!!

oh gosh!
somehow i feel just unappreciated!
"yes yes, i know here she goes again."
well, fuck you!
if u really dont care..
urgh!

i feel like i want to be alone.
left alone.
i want to lock myself in my room.
i need SPACE!
honestly, i cant breathe with all of u nagging
me all the time.
"its for your own good."
obviously, its not HELPING!
nothing will work if you just give mee my freedom.
ill walk out of the house with a smile on my face.
and its up to me if i want to return home or not..
even just standing out my gate
is a HUGE problem.

Oh gosh!
i envy alot of people around me.
i dislike.like.love or hate.. watever.
i think they're moreee lucky then i am.
in prison for a crime i DIDNOT commit.
im serving life sentence when all those
rapist&murderers are roaming around the streets .

*sigh*sigh*sigh*

i cant even spend a lil time with my boyfriend.
which i feel in time.
oh nvm.. to see is to believe.
my only wAY out is tru my facebook and frnster.

i cant breathe literally.
i need someethinggg :(
but i have to wait next week :D

so to thosee who feels the way i feel.
we will be bestfriends!
and to thosee who just dont understand.
hello-GoODBYE.

too much frustration.
i cant think for myself.
my head is all scrambled up.
i dont know. if i shud eat, cry, sleep,talk, laugh,smile.
if its is right or wrong..

i just feel very..very..VERY depressed.
yeah. depressed..
nothing new to all of u who DO know me.
if u dont like it then..
im sorry. its me.
its JUST ME!

oh gosh!
im not being a drama queen.
or overreacting..
i just feel really sad.
material things cant even cheer me up.
then what can?!

i dont know pls tell me.
cos i just dont KNOW.

btw, my bday is coming up soon.
and i dont want to do anything for it.
i dont want to be suprised. i dont want to smile or be happy.
i just want to be left alone.
if u do have something for me.
thank you but i dont want it.
im sorry.

1:00:00 PM

Tuesday, March 18, 2008Y

heiyoo..

do u really want to know how my anniversary was?
do you?!!!
okaay, remember valentines day?
yep, enuf said :D

its 1o am.
i have to go to the hospital.
hmmm..
my nephew is going for his monthly jab.

"i will neve let you fall, ill stand up with you forever.
ill be there for u through it all."

mm yeah.
hello-goodbye.
im moodless.

hope today will be better then yesterday.
in some way. anyway.

i hate holidays.
i hate KDU!
both our schedules do not meet up.
dt comes to show how sucky it is to be in 2 diff courses.
in the same coll..
*sigh*

maybe ill just move when dads EPF money is finished.
ill go kBu.
hahahhaha..

frustration, frustration.

"Denisee took "Will Your Love Last?" Quiz!

Results:
For the most part this relationship works,
but something is clearly missing.
Maybe it is trust, maybe it is fun, maybe it is love...
whatever is missing, only you can decide if it is worth fixing."

i guess this is so true..
i just feel sorry for somereason.

but im blocking out my feelings
just for the sake of everyone.

9:59:00 AM

Monday, March 17, 2008Y

so hot!!

today is such a hot day.
gosh!

did i mention it was boring as well.
i ended up just lying in bed with the remote in my hand
from 12-6..
.B.O.R.I.N.G.

dts why i hate holidays.
OW WELL,
:D going back to bed :D

just hope someething good happens.

btw, i forgot to add this.

Happy 1 year anniversary baby
i lovee you so much.

6:15:00 PM

Sunday, March 16, 2008Y

hello there! i miss you.

i really need a break.

my baby is in thailand..
i know its just one day..
but ivee been worring likee hell over here..
just cos of one stoopid dream..
it seemed so real! i really dont know.
its like i was napping on the couch(which i really was)
then i open my eyes.. i was lying down on my baby's lap.
i keep calling him.. but no answer..
all he was doin is sitting and stroking my hair..
and he was wearing the samee clothes i saww him in b4 he left.

i called his phone.. its offed. i dont blame him.
cos his phone is useless in thailand.
i sent him 3 msgs..
he cud have read it and msged back.
atleast assure me he is okay..
i shudnt think so much..
the dream just freaked me lots..

i shud have told him to msg me when he did reach thailand.
stoopid me.
like my sister said "maybe you just miss him alot."
well, yeah i do!.
but i know my baby will come back.
and at 12 am wish me..
"happy 1st year anniversary baby"
i know he will..

so i just gotta stop thinking and wait for him to come homee.
comee back to mee...

yesterday was carnival
and rhea said it sucked!
nvm.. dt i already know.

haiyooo..
hopee for the best..
i knoww everything will be alright.

10:39:00 AM

Thursday, March 13, 2008Y

its a craze :D

im going music and lyrics mad!
hahahhaha...
i really want to watch the movie!
it bring back memories :D
but then... i dont knowww..
waiting for the dvd..

hmmm.. i had a weird dream
that one of my besties hates me cos
she started hanging out with someother people
and she hates me cos i dont want to fit in with them.
sad dream.
But its just A DREAM!

my baby is going thailand for the weekend.
lucky boy!
take care:D
bring patrick&buy me something :DD
hehehehhehehehhehe...
take pics too :D
i want to see how thailand looks like..

im just reaally pissed off now.
but im shrugging dt feeling behind..
i love my sister
but i hate my family..
i guess shes the only one who understands.
if something wud happen to her.
i wont have anyone.
i guess she is my family.
**sigh**
mom thinks i want to stay baCK for ben.
but actually i just want to watch grease..
"why u make things so difficult? why cant you just come home?"
i dont understand you. i dont want to understand you.
you just make things moree difficult for me.
u say enjoy my youth.. how am i suppose to when you
keep nagging me and telling me what to do!
"if what im doing is wrong, then what is RIGHT to you? please tell me cos i really
dont understand."

im gonna miss my highschools carnival.
cos of a stoopid presentation.
and carnival is the day i was always looking forward too..
**sigh**

i just dont know.
my blogs full of crap..
and im getting bored :(

10:30:00 PM

Monday, March 10, 2008Y

my brother is a spoilt brat.

im sorry but this is so true.

i hear him complaining&whining&throwing things around.
disrespecting the parents, swearing at them.
telling them how much he hates this family.
words exactly from his mouth.
"i hate this fucking retard family! i wish i cud stay with my friends.
than have a fucked up mother likee you&a asshole father like YOU!."

the thing i dont understand is
"WHY?!"
why dont they whack him? give him a taste of his own medicine?
isit cos they didnt hear him? or they just taking it cos he is the baby?

i hate staying home as much as he does..
but i dont dare say that to my parents.
in their faces.

so stoopid!
but i wont say a thing to him.
he'll get his "karma" one day.
and mom&dad wont be there to spare him.
neither would i.
im sorry, i just give up all hope in him.
i thought this idiot wud change someday..
but he is just getting worse..
mom told me to work in aussie&support my bro to study there.
im sorry, but im not gonna waste my money on him.
UNTIL he does change his arrogant,annoying&pathetic attitude.

anyway enough about him.
doing my nutrition assignment now.
its so diffi..

Nutrition assignment.
write about 3trends&2habits in malaysia.
must include: intro,contents,appendix,solutions&reference.
theres more but i cant remember.
2 in a group.
dang!
3trends are : junk food, mamak stalls, dining out.
2habits are: obesity, un healthy diets.

then got moral..
write about a moral value.
Pfft!
okay.. gotta get started.
only studied till chap 4& got 7 chapters to go!
no sleep tonite.
bring out the caffinee or the cigs? err..
hahaha
i got major headache lastnight.
becos of 2cigs! small lil tobacco rolled in paper!
darn!! and woke up with double the headache.
ahhahahahha

i miss my baby ben.

i miss my nephew joseph!

i miss my sister jo.

was suppose to go 1u for shopping&lunch with her.
but mom was so busy at home.
no worries.
ill see my lil baby boy tumoro.
hahahahah

Music&lyrics
coming out in astro on the 23rd march!!
ahhhh!!! but i dont know what time.
i cant wait that long!
i want to watch it now..
i was thinking about it 3days ago..
oh gosh! memories..
we were seated at the side.
u were wearing your famous "red collar shirt"
on dt day was when i felt "something"
but as stoopid as i am now. i shrugged the feeling..
till march 17..
yikes! and its coming soon :D
7days to go! :D :D

haiyo...
it may look silly but its love. :D

7:59:00 PM

Sunday, March 09, 2008Y

"i realize that whoever i dislike would be my bestfriend at the end of the day."
-Tristan&dee-

5:29:00 PM

oh gosh! here we go again.

Until you're back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you're back here baby yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

i wanted to go to 1u!!
why aree u all so lazy!!!
stoopid ppl!
when i start driving..
u wont see me at home..

my life doesnt revolve arnd my boyfriend!
which idiot gave u dt idea!
well, yeah it does..in some certain way.
but i control MY own life.
idiot!!

hmm..
i miss me besties.
OH! heres someething for you.

"Girl, I Can Tell You've Been Crying
And You Needing Somebody To Talk To
Girl, I Can Tell He's Been Lying
And Pretending That He's Faithful And He Loves You
Girl, You Don't Have To Be Hiding
Don't You Be Ashamed To Say He Hurt You
I'm Your Girl, You're My Girl, We're Your Girls
Don't You To Know That We Love You?"

hmmm...
im bored at home.
sick some moree :(
errr...
i need to study.
i need to do assignment.
but just so lazy :(
gosh!! **i know u gonna say someething. SHUSH! i really dont WANT to hear it**
i will get my lazy ass up.

5:02:00 PM

Friday, March 07, 2008Y

"You're still a part of everything I do, you're on my heart just like a tattoo,
Just like a tatto, I'll always have you."
-jordin sparks-

"children should not play with dead things."
-supernatural-

"i find myself staring blankly&smiling about all the stoopid things we did.
a tear falls at the same time cos i know it wont come back."
-dee-

watched a movie yesterday.
YIKES!
"playboy cops"
thought it wud suck.
but it wasnt that bad!
*they look so hot wearing sunnies.*
hahaha

then ate at some steamboat place.
wheree china ppl fingering eachother.
damn sick!!! :(
i was dead scared.
i wanted to call baby, but his fone no batt..
oh nvm..

im bored today :(
i think me going to 1u. or curve?
or??? somewhere lah.
hehehehhe

ser&rhea if u do read this.
i miss u guys!!!!!!
15 march. carnival!!!
lets gooo :)

i feel damn sad..
but i just learnt something.
"ive got to block out thoughts&feelings."
to not be affected by any mushy thing?
lovey dovey thing. or anything hurting.
simply block it out. it works..
but somehow it does hurt at the same timee. :(
oh well, its the only way i can survive.. :)

"you may get angry, you may get irritated. u may make me cry at times.
but i still love you. dont EVER forget that."

11:11:00 AM

Wednesday, March 05, 2008Y

But How
Do you expect me
To live alone with just me
Cause my world revolves around you
its so hard for me to breathe

Tell Me How im supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live can't breathe with no air
thats how i feel whenever you ain't there
Its No Air No Air
Got me out here and the water so deep
Tell me how you gon be without me
if you ain't here i just can't breathe
Its No Air No Air

haiyo!
i just feel sick.
my stomach feels so weird!
:(
if only i had someeone ..
oh nvm..

carnival is this sat? i think?
and exam is next week :)
yay!
tumoro is presentation..
i have to get to coll asap.
cos ill get locked out if im late..

"if i cud.. i wish i couldnt feel anything. in other words, emotionless."
that way nobody can hurt me :)

8:13:00 PM

Monday, March 03, 2008Y

Fairview, Oh fairview..

MUAHAHAHA...
ive got all my pics from my oldish comp!
YAY! memories.
but i loathe the school. i just love the memories.

happy birthday baby!!
hope u have a great day!!! :D
i lovee you.

yeash!
im so bored at home..
and i feel so sad at the same time..

"someday we wud be sitting on our rocking chairs and reminicing abt the good old days."

my mid terms start tumoro..
gotta start studying yo! hehehhe

11:11:00 AM