dEn-isE* =)

2010-01-07T23:03:00.002+08:00

i just dont know.
what am i really to do.

i feel that i dont belong with you&the people you are with.

i was brought up the other way around.
i was brought up to play alone&be alone.
i not know how to interact.

when i see the pics of urs.
i share ure happiness.

but i feel that i wouldnt know how to be that happiness for you.
i get jealous cos i envy your happiness.
your fun.

i never have fun like that.
because nobody ever invites me to such.
even my good friends dont invite me to their BBQ party.
shopping.Movies.birthdays.
yeah.

i only have afew good friends and when i say that i mean 2good friends.

yeah.
somehow i feel so happy to be there the other night.
but somehow i dont meddle with your friendship cos its non of my business.

2010-01-05T22:47:00.002+08:00

Omg. sweet movie.

yeah its old.
yeah these girls are like wat 16 or maybe 17.
BUT.
i really liked it.
yeah im back dated and all that

hahhaa...

it just felt so nice.
having that first love come about.
not to say first love.
that feeling when it was "playing hard to get"
the friends.
OMG! she has lovely friends.
OPEN. FUN. ADORABLE.
they go shopping.gossip. dance together.
have fun together.
I wish i had a group of girls like that.
where clubbin' means less and friendship means more.
when it was "hoes" b4 "bros"
hahahhaa..

*sigh*

my hair is in a mess.
i need a CUT badly!

i havent bought anything for myself since i had my last pay.
and ive spent it all.

i wanted to buy a nice dress.
or maybe a nice outfit.
OMG!
IM IN NEED OF NEW CLOTHES OKAY?
yeah.
Imma try something new.
with MAKE UP.
i need to be a girl.
i want to lose weight cos i want to be a SKINNY pretty girl.

which im trying desperately but im strictly overweight.
ive got a lazy ass.
and i just cant help but eat.
THATS WHY I WANT TO GO OUT.
DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE.
LOSE WEIGHT!

sigh!
HELP ME PLEASE! :(

2010-01-03T20:02:00.002+08:00

2010 SUCKS!

hey, its the first few days into the new year and i really HATE IT.
My dad has gone madly INSANE.
My mom is in deep depression.
My nephews are monsters.
My sister is still in her "single" world.
My brother is flying arnd up there in a heartshaped cloud.
AM I THE ONLY FUCKIN' SANE ONE HERE?

i hate this really,
ive lost all my friends to deep partying& better friends.
ive lost all touch with myself due to busyness.
ive got the taste of unfairness and i really hate it.
i dont take advantage.
thats why people dont bother inviting me anywhere because my ans is always.
NO.

you all are 10 steps forward and im 20steps back.
thats how it goes.

i really hate this.
why cant my family be NORMAL.
why cant they TRUST ME FOR ONCE.
with or without him.
i really want to be like them.
LIKE HER!
why cant i?

i really wantt to be free.
i really like to go out at night and come home at 6am.
just enjoying myself.
dont i have the right?
it always gets back to that thing
abt being special& the 10 out of ppl shit thing.
i HATE IT!

she is prettier than me why nothing happen to her?
i would really love to go road trips and come back at night or late afternoon.
but noo!
everything is a no. or its to dangerous or i dont trust you.
in a group of 10ppl wtf can happen to me?
tell me pls.

dont be jealous okay.
you were MY age once you FELT that freedom.

you have heard tht somefriend of mine had damn hell of a strict parents.
and they didnt allow her to even step a foot out.
but look at her now.

its that simple thing of letting go.
if i wanted to get pregnant.
i would have a long time ago.

if only you were there when my auntie was advicing me.
"GO OUT ENJOY YOURSELF, YOUR STILL SO YOUNG. THERES ALOT TO SEE OUT THERE THAN ROTTING HERE AT HOME. PARTY, ENJOY. BUT STAY AWAY FRM ALL THE SEX& DRUGS."

i just wanna know why?
WHY WHY WHY!
if all u wanted frm me was to study& one day join the church or something.
YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT ME AWAY TO THE CHURCH OR SOMETHING.

this is way unfair.
My friends have a social life.
MY BOYFRIEND has a social life.
why cant you give me one??
what must i do?
you want me to pay you back all the money i used just for my freedom?
tell me WHAT TO DO!
id DO ANYTHING YOU WANT!
PLEASE .

ive lost touch with all myfriends because of you
afraid that id make you angry.
i defend all of them especially him from your dirty mouth.
thats why i always say no. to keep you from saying anything.
im simply ALONE NOW.

THANKS FOR NOTHING.
the both of you.

2009-12-31T18:31:00.001+08:00

one of the worst new years eve.

:(

yeah. why?
cos its my fault.
i ruined my own New yr.
okay?

goodbye.

2009-12-31T12:05:00.003+08:00

POST 905 .
: happy birthday world.
you are 2010!

weee jin! :)

Geraldine&karel.

Friscilla& hidden keith .

begining of 2009.

end of 2009 :)

one of our 2009 crazie sleepovers

frm 4 became 3, now 2.

end of College b4 training.

start of college

2007 july :)

wow! so fast the yr went by.
2010.
big number man!

im planning to put my blog on unprivate for a while.
so people can see that ive been blogging for coming 4 yrs dy or was it 3 yrs?
im not sure.

2009 has been challenging.
in every aspect of my life.
i have been frm poor to rich to poor again.
ive gone frm happy to sad to depressed to happy again.
ive made friends.
ive lost alot of friends.
ive cried more then ive smiled this yr.
ive gotten sick
ALOT!
ive learnt new things.
im planning to quit some dirty habits.

yeah.
there are more but i cant think.
ive made it thru this yr..
but i wished i could've made it better.
too late for regrets now.

I welcome 2010 with an open mind and heart.
i hope it brings good luck.
no new yrs resolution.
im gonna go thru it
unplanned and spontaneous.
:)

Happy new year everyone.
i wish u all the best.

2009-12-30T23:02:00.001+08:00

FINALLY!
IM DONE!

NOW,
WHAT THE HELL TO DO?!

NEW YEAR IS COMING.
HOPE IT IS GOOD :X

NEW YRS EVER WHAT TO DO?

2009-12-29T23:39:00.002+08:00

HATE IS A STRONG WORD,
so i REALLY REALLY REALLY dont LIKE you.

YES! JONATHAN WOON FINALLY K.O'ED
:)

urgh.. mind me not.

hahahaha

i love my brother.
yeah i think :)
heee..

Im finally done!
*jump for joy*
but im kinda sad.
but happy.
no need to wake up at 6 in the morning.
ahhahahha...

so what am i to do now?
HOLIDAY!!!!

bring me somewhere other than a shopping mall thanks. :)

2009-12-27T16:59:00.003+08:00

Big Girls don't cry.

You are so lucky .
cos you have a ton of friends to back u up when you need it.
when you are feeling sad.
when you want something.
when you want somewhere to go or do.

You are just the luckiest.
good for you.

i have low self-esteem.
deal with it can?

hrmm.. im so bored.
i need to get out of here.

2009-12-26T19:28:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday James Emmanuel Cheng Tai soon :)

urgh!
im so bored.
bring me somewhere i have not been b4.
well, i havent been to alot of places

except curve. pavilion. klcc. sunway&1utama.
bring me somewhere for dinner& drinking.

i hope when my hunnay puts up the meeting in january.
its gonna be in a lavely place.
like...
for dinner& drinking.
cos i cant take another shopping mall.
somehow.

2009-12-26T09:53:00.002+08:00

Hard for me to say im sorry

hey now,
goodmorning.

ive gain pounds
i hate it!
im gonna lose 7kg.
next yr
so that i can fit in a size 4.
im a size 5/6
so yeah..

URGH!!

Joggin!,eating right, forget abt fatty food,
Yeah.

FUCK YOU RONALD MCDONALD!
FUCK YOU KFC!
FUCK YOU MEE GORENG&NASI LEMAK.

you make me into a walking
disasteer!

yuck!

:)

2009-12-25T16:16:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone :)

lovee you all :D

2009-12-23T22:26:00.004+08:00

am i suppose to say boom boom pow now??

hey!
My bestfriend is in love and im happy..

my brothers gf is so the adorable!
♥ her!

im so bored.
i look so fugly.
i hate myself.
with the excess baggages
hanging on my arms.
thighs. muffin tops.
belly..
URGH!
FAT.FAT.FAT.

i hate myself with my dirty eye bags.
its so disgusting.
yuuusssrrrghh!!! :(
i hate myself..

sometimes. when im just not looking my best.
and im deffi not looking mybest now..

im jealous of others.
others are jealous of me.
but i want to be ordinary.
i want to be JUST LIKE YOU :(

new yrs resolution 1O1:
[find something to do in life]
[LOSE A TON OF WEIGHT YOU FAT FUG!]
[GET RID OF THAT DIRTY DISGUSTING EYEBAGS!]
[QUIT SMOKING. ITS A REPULSIVE HABIT!]
[GET MY IPHONE!]

2009-12-22T22:29:00.001+08:00

im back :D

my net was out for a few.

now im back.

count down 6day s:D

hehehhehehe

YAY!! FREEDOM!
hehehehhee

2009-12-17T23:26:00.000+08:00

retard :)

im so tired :)
hhhahahah
holiday..
yay!
goodnight.

2009-12-15T22:10:00.002+08:00

"in the words of a brokenheart."

hey! im so tired!
but putting up with my last strength to blog.
hehehe..

today i heard from my friend.
that her boyfriend want to break up with her.
due to stress, religion, problems.
i feel so sad for her cos that is not a reason to breakup.
i think the main thing is that he has
lost feelings.
what i think.

i feel really bad.
i did the same thing once.
and someone close to me is feeling
the pain i caused to him.
if i could apologize.
deeply to him.
i would.

KARMA.
he will get it back.
dont worry jess.
like i tell you.
if he really love u.
he will think properly.

work related stress.
pressure.
headache.
tired!
i need a holiday.

pls anyone who can hear me?
listen to me?
take me on a holiday.

anyone?
:(

Serra came back frm cambodia.
i think.
saw the pics.
it seems cambodia is an awesome place..
jealous.
all these ppl can go nice places for holiday.
and i havent experienced so..
i can when im older?
urgh!
pls.
im 18.
i want to experience everything b4 23.
too old already.

My bestfriends has grown up.
im still left behind.
reminescing
abt the good old days.
im still..
the "naive" one.

yeeesh!
okay goodnight.
im gonna sleep now.
:)

2009-12-14T23:46:00.001+08:00

you and i by park bom.

esh! yeeesh!!

tired eyes.
so sleepy.

Good night..

take me on a holiday.
you owe me a STAR CRUISE HOLIDAY MR. ISAAC TAN!

i want to go somewhere..
refresh& recharge.
cos what im feeling now.
i want to sleep& collapse..
ahhahahahha

even if its near by i dont mind.
i dont go anywhere much.
the farthest ive gone is serendah.
WTF?!
HAHAHA

sad right.
okay night.

2009-12-13T21:11:00.003+08:00

"i wonder how can couples put up 100 pics of eachother?"

"let me fly you all around the world"

she so pretty now!
:)

im obsessed with china doll haircut.

I WANT TO CUT MY FRINGEE LIKE THIS!

HIHI..
i like panda.
pandorikan?
remember that?
i want that one!
cute one.

:)

im in pain.
period pain.
YEEEESK!

i want to go shopping but i have no mood.

i wont be getting anything this christmas.
i guess.
so sad.
i can cry.
but i am happy.
:D

hehehehe...
i want to buy new shoe!
clothes.
accessories.
bags.
i want to cut my fringe and re-dye my hair
make it nice:!

hrrrrmmm...

i wan I PHONE!
BUT I CANNOT GET BECAUSE MY DADDY ALWAYS
FORGET.
I FEEL SO SAD AGAIN..

:(
IF I LISTEN TO HIM AND GET THAT DAY (NOV)
TODAY I WILL BE USING MY IPHONE.

PLS DONT RUN OUT OF IPHONE..
UNTIL I HAVE.
:)
THANK YOU..

2009-12-12T12:22:00.000+08:00

"imthe first kid who writes abt hearts, lies and friends.

Im sorry my conscience called in sick again."

i want to go GENTING.
K.L IS SO hot!!

im SWEATING like a piG!

:(:(
My friend said its so nice there.
Because christmas have so many
nice things :(
im sad.

okay.

bye bye.

"and if you dont mind can you tell me all your hopes & dreams & everything that you believe in.
would you make a difference in the world?
i love for you to take me to a deeper conversation."

2009-12-10T18:12:00.002+08:00

sometimes love, comes arnd.
and it knocks you down,
just get back up when it knocks you down.

i want to fly away.
high.
touch the clouds.
feel the cold breeze.
i dont want to come back.

i looked at old pics of friends frm august 07'
till july 09'
Gosh!
i miss PM MODULE!
CLASSES!.

hahahhaa..
yeah i went way back.
i miss sitting in the smoking zone doing absolutely NOTHING.
hahahhahaha...

those the best times of my life.
:)

im so craving for ice cream now.
yeah i love baskin robins.
but i cant afford that.
id go for Mc donalds chocolate sundae.
hehehe :D

i want to eat seafood.
Good ones.
Steam boat.
GOOD ONES.
Korean BBQ.
GOOD ONES.
i want to eat good japanese food.
:D

serra still owes me tenji..
im pennyless for all this things waiting for my 750.
hahahhaa.. but its not enough.
well,
its okay... im just gonna dream abt it till i get there.
and eat it.
someday lah.
hrrrmmm.....

My sister is going for the opening of fluxed magazine?
i think in MOS.
ask me to go but its 19 and above...
YEEEESH!
so ill just stay home..

:D

monday- 14/12 is shucore's birthday.
wednesday-16/12 is staff party.
friday-18/12 is public holiday.
sunday-20/12 is dads birthday.
friday-25/12 is CHRISTMAS!
saturday-26/12 is jamies birthday.
wednesday-30/12 is last day of training.
thursday-31/12 is Nw yrs eve.

any special event i missed???
i cant think of any..

i havent gone christmas&birthday shopping.
i dont even have new clothes for christmas.

the latest news i heard is
my dad blew all this salary
there is no more.
and its only the 10th of dec.
how nice.
well, this is gonna be the first
christmas with nothing new :)
dunno see how. :D

i want to watch new moon.
i want to go cinema :(
i want to go shopping.
window shopping.
i have no money though.

hi! someone save me!
take me out!!
call me if you can please?!

2009-12-10T12:21:00.002+08:00

"im lost, help! can someone help me?"

which direction should i take?
where am i suppse to be?
what am i suppose to do?

i dont know.

what is my purpose??

i dont know.

i need a holiday.
i need somewhere to go
and some thing to do

i want to feel more appreciated then i am now.
i dont have a life.

my life is my music& internet.
sucks to be me.
i dont dress nice.
i dont have special clothes for special occasions

i dont comb hair in the morning.

yeah..
My room is in a total mess.
its very small& hot.

id wake up after 5mnths of hell.
to a hse filled with noise
and crying&screaming.
while all of u get to study or work.
enjoy yourself.

i DONT have a choice.
My mom's health is more important then my work.
my dads heart condition is not getting better.
and i cant do anything now until..
the situation is under control.

*sigh*

id wish to go arnd the world and enjoy myself.
but i cant .
im stuck!

id wish to call my gf's and go out.
but i cant.
im stuck!
the time is never right.

id want to go on a holiday.
anywhere.
langkawi, p.d or the nearest lah. just to pavilion for a shopping whole day.
i CANT.
because, its always too dangerous.
its not time to let me go.
i will get raped or murdered.
i look too "foreign"
to be roaming arnd.
id forget who i am& myself respect
and get pregnant.

i dont get that.
thats when i hate myself the most.
thats when i hate how i look.

i complain i look fat&ugly.
yeah. i w**h i was FAT&UGLY.
that case noone will bother me.
i dont mean anything but
if its to let me do what i want.
then i want it.

i am allowed to go out.
but only to places that are 5-10mins away from my home.
but im only allwed to stay there frm 3-6hrs.
what the FUCK FUCKIN' FUCK IS THIS?!

if id pour out my frustration on you.
id kill myself afterwards cos
i cant take it.
seriously i cant.

but im holdin on because i dont want to die a sin.

the pieces just dont fit anymore.
what has happened to my family
and my life?

i need time to breathe.
everything is so fast .
the pressure is on..
im only gasping for air.

i need time to take a deep breathe
i want to take my mom&dad with me.

i changed my password so that
people cannot find their way in and share info to other people
that idont know.

nobody can understand.
no one understands me.
you think it is that easy to talk it out.
HOW ?
when i have 2 very stubborn parents that still lives in the 60s'
yeah it was so different from then and now.
but they dont see it that way.
okay.
i dont like it when people come up with solutions for me
that ive tried and it FAILED.
im just following.
eventhough it upsets me everyday.
because i just dont want anything to go wrong.
stress to them.
i STILL NEED THEM YOU KNOW!

so im just going in circles.
lack of motivation.
i really dont know what am i suppose do.
what will make everyone happy?

2009-12-09T23:27:00.002+08:00

"according to you, im boring.
im moody, and you cant take me any place."

hey ive made new layout :)
hehehe..

im so tired.
ive got to wake up so early tumoro..
i get so sad& frustrated inside.

i cant wait for a holiday.
if i ever do get one.
pfft.
21 more days.

im free :)

i want to go so many places
all my friends have left me.
to pursue their dreams.

but its okay. :)

i want to shop.
i need to stop eating.
i want to go to the beach.
i just want to relax.

b4 i decide what i want to do.

give me a break okay.
ive been thru hell.

but hell is much hotter!

well, i havent gotten a time out since i finished school.

i was pushed in kindi when i was 2yrs old.
i moved to schools when i was 7yrs old.

i was pushed to study hard(which i did for the 1st 3yrs)
i was pushed to join every available activity.

then when i grad.
i was pushed to coll after amnth or 2.
i graduate at 18.

why did i go through life so fast.
i havent even experienced anything on my list.

i know i still can.
but its not the same.

i really miss my friends.

if tears could turn back time i wish it would now.

oh well,
its time to grow up.
im gonna work(maybe)
then get married
and settle down with a over-protective& dominating guy.
*im not talking abt YOU okay?*

i wouldnt know our future.

so lets just see.

im tired :)

goodnight...

2009-12-08T20:54:00.002+08:00

"According to you, im stupid.
I'm useless, i cant do anything right."

i wish i can fly like mary poppins.
know her?
hehehehe..

im feeling average,
nikko hotel is growing on me!
i dont wanna leave you all but i must :(

im to miss all of uu..

Grace, Jess, KUAN!, MIKE!,thomas,Jason, AH CHIN!!!!, Alzubir,
bang' sharol, BANG ISMAILI!!!!!, admest, wan, fairus,
bang ameer, chef deen, chef fong&low, chef teh, dexter, benny,
jasper!!!, david, ying, CITI!, Ah choong, stupid butcher boy ermm?? ANWAR!,
all u stewards& shyukor!!!!

who am i missing?
sorry if i didnt put ure name in.
im forgetting names.
hahahhaa

imma miss all of uu..

i have had good times with all of u .
some bad times.
but lets leave that behind.
ive got what 23 days left.
yeah.
:(

ill come back.
i promise.
either goin to eat at cafe serena'
or benkay or Toh Lee
maybe enjoying at the bently's pub.
the pool side, nikko lounge,
lobby lounge or buying something from the deli.
ill be back okay ?? :)

im not happy nor sad.
im just okay..

the new deli staff is a bitch!
really
i bring the ordered cake and she looks at me say:
"apatu syang?"

i tell her.
"kek untuk guest."

she say:
"mane form?"

i point at the file withall the order forms
and she starts blowing up.

"BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH!"

BITCH! HAHAHHA
i spoke to her in melayuu.
so malu.. really ..
hahahhaha

but she let me go.

hahahhaa...

okay okay imma go shower now..

ending with " aku dan dirimu - ari Lasso feat Bunga C. Lestari "
hehehe ;)

2009-12-06T21:18:00.002+08:00

you are a damn fuckin' good liar..

LIAR! 2am? wow!

and you'd think id not know.
good for you.

figure this shit ureself.
im just not telling you anything.
thanks..

btw, viewers.
i had a tired day at work.
im constantly working to the max so that my period will come out..
yeah..

ive been promised an iphone.
im not getting it.

wtf? so fair is this..

i want My bestfriend.
really..
serra koh.
i really need you.

imma go christmas shopping.
WITHOUT YOU..

I AM ANGRY WITH YOU!
YEAH..

DEAL WITH IT!

IMMA WATCH NEW MOON..
WITH OUT YOU.

IMMA GO SOMEWHERE YOU DONT KNOW..
WITHOUT YOU!!!!

URGH!!!!!

fine,
good night.

2009-12-05T18:11:00.000+08:00

hey, im bored..

bye :D

2009-11-30T23:15:00.002+08:00

"i nak tidur! tapi, i mesti blog dulu. yeeesh!"
addiction.

My Obsession! nikee shoes!
RM300++

"must we take photos together to prove to you ppl that we are together!
leave me alone.. i know what i am doing.
pictures dont mean anything.
its how we live day by day.."

2009-11-30T19:39:00.003+08:00

"its the most wonderful time of the year.."
-frank sinatra-

IVE GAINED BLOODLY 6PNDS IN 4MNTHS!
WHAT THE MOTHER F!

:(

ive got a month left.
i cant help but think abt all the things i wanna do.
the places i want to go.
to eat ahhh!!!

hahahahahhaa..
i wanna go shopping,
to the beach, to the jungle,
i wanna go somewhere i have not been b4.
i wanna go eat sushi, good food, steak!
ice cream!

but im so freaking fat now :(
its so sad..
i really need to lose weight.
haish!

2009-11-27T21:26:00.003+08:00

urgh! i cant take this..

know what..
YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF EVERYTHING.
YES! IT IS YOUR FAULT!

IM ASHAMED TO CALL U MY "FLESH&BLOOD"
I HAVE TAKEN IN ALL THE BULLSHIT YOU MADE ME DO.
YOU SAID TO ME, RESTRICTED ME, I HAVE HELD IN ALL I FELT FOR YOU.
I BACKED U UP WHEN THEY SAID YOU WERE WRONG.
I HAVE BEEN THERE WHEN U HATED HIM THE MOST..

I HAVE LET YOU STEP ON ME.
I HAVE LET YOU CHILDREN STEP ON ME.

U DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE PUT ASIDE BECAUSE OF YOU.
BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID TO PISS YOU OFF, AFRAID YOU WILL NOT TALK TO ME.

WHAT THE FUCK I GET!???

NOW IM NOT GONNA DO THAT ANYMORE.
YOU HAVE PUSHED ME ARND TOO MUCH..

WHEN U FEEL TIRED WHO IS THE ONE TAKING CARE OF THE CHILDREN?
WHEN YOU ARE LAZY TO WALK UP WHO IS THE ONE WHO WALKS UP TO MAKE MILK OR CHANGE THEM.?
WHEN YOU ARE GOING OUT WHO IS THE ONE WHO CHEERS THEM UP WHEN THEY CRY?
WHEN YOU COME HOME LATE WHO IS THE ONE HELPING MOM TAKE CARE OF YOUR GOD DAMN CHILDREN?!

ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME,
ME,ME,ME,ME,ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THATS ABSOFUCKINLUTLY RITE!
ME!

IM SO SICK OF THIS..
GIVE MY MOM A BREAK.
GIVE MY DAD A BREAK!
WE ARE NOT YOU SERVANTS.
YES YOU WORK BUT ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!!!!

I WANT YOU OUT OF MY HSE!
COS YOU ARE JUST MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE!

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!!!

YES! I DONT HAVE YOU ANYMORE.
IM THE OLDEST NOW.
I WILL TAKE CARE OF MOM&DAD
I WILL TAKE CARE OF JON TOO...

GET LOST& FUCK OFF!
GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!

IF YOUR HUSBAND IS THE PROBLEM.
HIRE SOMEONE TO TEACH HIM A LESSON.
IF NOT FUCKIN' DIVORCE HIM!
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
URE JUST MAKING IT HARD FOR ALL OF US.

ITS BEEN 2YRS NOW.
GET THE FUCK ON WITH YOUR FUCKED UP FUCKING LIFE!

YOU RUINED MY LIFE.
HIS&HERS&THEIRS..

YOU ARE SO FUCKIN' STOOPID!
DONT TRY TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT.
YOU WONT GET ANYWHERE ANYMORE!

DONT FUCKIN' SAY YOU ARE NOT EMMBARASSED WHEN U SEE URE FRIENDS.
MOST OF URE FRIENDS DONT KNOW URE MARRIED WITH 2 KIDS.
I REMEMBER I SAW THAT EMBARASSMENT IN YOUR FACE WHEN YOU THOUGHT URE FRIEND WOULD BE ARND AND ONE OF YOUR FRIEND SO HAPPEN TO BE THERE...

BUT I STUCK UP FOR YOU AND SAID..
"I DONT MIND TO SAY THOSE ARE MY CHILDREN NOT YOURS."
I WAS WILLING TO HELP YOU.
IM NOT SCARED!

BUT YOU JUST TOOK ME FOR GRANTED
AND THIS IS THE LAST.

I CAN IGNORE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
FUCK I CARE!

I WISH I CAN SHOW YOU HOW MUCH OF A FRUSTRATION I HAVE.
YEAH MOM & DAD ARE SICK..
BE CAUSE OF YOU! NOT ME.
I DO GO OUT BUT WHEN IM HOME I DO THE BEST I FUCKING CAN OKAY?!
EVERY DAY ID FEEL SO SAD.
I GET JEALOUS OF OTHERS BECAUSE OF YOU.
I LET GO OF MYSELF BECAUSE OF YOU.
EVERYTHING THAT I DONT DO ANYMORE IS BECAUSE OF YOU!!!
EVERYTIME I WISH FOR A BETTER TUMORO.
I WISHED I COULD TURN BACK TIME.
EVEN IF IT MEANS NOT SEEING MY NEPHEWS..
I KNOW I WILL BE SEEING THEM IN THE NEAR FUTURE NOT NOW.
URGH!!! I JUST GOT NOTHING TO SAY ANYMORE.
I LOOK AT YOU IN DISGUST.
WHEN YOU TAKE CARE OF THEM & FALL ASLEEP
WHILE THEY CRY UNTILL THEIR LUNGS CANT TAKE IT.
WHEN YOU DONT CHANGE THEIR DIAPER FOR 6HRS STRAIGHT.
WHEN U CAN LIE THAT U FED THEM BUT DIDNT..
WHEN U WHINE WHEN U DONT WANT TO MAKE THEM MILK.

WTF?! I KNOW U DIDNT ASK FOR THIS
BUT PLS! ITS YOUR RESPONSIBLITY
WORK IT OUT!
WE WONT HELP U FOREVER U KNOW.
SOON IVE GOT TO WORK TOO..

IVE GOT MY OWN LIFE.

I HATE YOU!

2009-11-27T13:28:00.002+08:00

"try this on straightjacket feeling."

i wan bday cake like this..

or this..

My stupid brother.
FAMILY :)

all i ever thought you'd be.
but today im fine without you.
run away this time without uu..

Im holding on By letting go of you..

its near the end of my training.
end of the yr..

next yr.
its time to Move on..
Grow up..
i guess.

im setting a goal..
i think?
TO QUIT SMOKING AGAIN!
hahahhahaha..

but as u all know.
i cant do it.
hahahaha

eeeesh..
im bored.
thanks god i didnt go last night.
i wasnt in the mood.
i was lazy :)

bye bye .

2009-11-26T22:43:00.001+08:00

Pernah Muda- Bunga C. Lestari.

Gingerbread MADNESS!
hehehhehe

im so awake now but yet im very the asleepy hahhaa..

if only eyebags and dark circles were like dirt..
can rub off.
then i wouldnt have much of a problem.

if fats were like butter.
ill stay in the heat till it all melts hahaha.
HAHHA

well, ermm...
hahahhaa nothing mucho though...

NEW MOON IS OUT DY!
I WANNA WATCH ...
yeeeh!

hahahahhaa

ending with..

Kecewa- Bunga C. Lestari

2009-11-25T22:16:00.002+08:00

i never know i needed..

urgh! whats wrong with u ppl?
yeah.. you've got the wrong person..
trying to ruin my relationship isit?
hate me isit??

stop spreading something u dont know
stop saying u saw me!
i wasnt there..
i dont know my seniors!
i dont CHEAT!

why will i hurt someone. cheat on them
when i was hurt and cheated b4.
please.. YEAH YOU DONT KNOW.
YOU DONT KNOW ME
IM NOT A BAD PERSON I DONT DO SO..
i dont let other ppl feel what i felt.
i dont wanna hurt my bestfriend.
becos i LOVE HIM.
okay okay? FUCK OFF.

stop spreading something thats not TRUE!
lie abt me ONCE AGAIN..
ill find you.
ILL CUT U!
FCUKIN' PPL!
GET A LIFE.
thanks.

pfft!

so i need to spend time with my family.
THEY HATE ME FOR WHAT IVE BECOME.
sad..
i want to cry again..

im happy outside.
VERY HAPPY.
but deep inside im hurting.
ALOT!

im so confused!
i dont know what to do?
what do u want me to do?
cool it???

okay FINE.
FOR YOU ILL TELL HIM
TO SEE ME LESS.

IM SORRY.
i will not disobey you anymore.

2009-11-24T00:07:00.002+08:00

"i try to make myself believe,
that planet earth turns slowly.."

heee :DD:DDDD:DDDDDDD

i watched a movie today with
BENNY LEONG.
*GASP!*

hahahhahaa..
yeah, MY BOYFRIEND!
i love you..
stop reading my blog.

phsycoo blogger stalker.. :)

2012..
awesome movie. but scary..

i enjoyed today.
talking abt random things.
laughing..
emoing&laughing.hahahhaa
smoking, drinking tea..
laughing somemore.

havent laughed this hard since.
yest? i think hahaha...

sorry abt my emmoo-ing.
im just a jealous childish 18yr old..
rambling abt unwanted runts.
hahhahaha...

make me happy everyday!
flowers?
chocolates?= FAT! ahahhaha
nono im kidding.

works pretty hectic.

i like shoes, pretty shoes& skinny pants.
i like long shirts& off-shoulder tops.
i like shorts& high waisted skirts.
i like casual dresses..
and i want black colour aviators!
cannot find..
i like kelly's beanie?! hehehehe

SSHOOOOOO FLY DONT BOTHER ME!

i like victoria secret and body shop.

i like strawberries&cream.
:) THANKS GRACE!
hahaha

i like charm braceletts& big ear rings..

i dont wear an "engagement ring,"
so does that make me taken but available?
hahahha NO!
my benny will kill me!

i want my iphone quick !
yeesh!

hahhaa.
sorry im so happy.
i cant contain it.
imma abt to explode...
hahaha

workwork!
christmas cookies& cheese cake.
yuck! im sick of it.

hahahhaa..
i get bullied by the demi chef..
but i bully him back :)
hehhee

okay...
imma sleep now.
this blog is only for private readers.

NATALIA BABY!
IS MY SEXY LIL SIS!
I LOVE HER MUCH!
I MISS HER MUCH!

YEESH!
STOP MESSING WITH HER
CAN?!

THANKS.

2009-11-22T20:32:00.002+08:00

i love you, oh thank you.

look at how stupid we weree.
YEEESH!

well, i look at myself now.
i can cry.
but i will never get back what i had.
My heart, My happiness,
My self.
yeah..

im not referring to anything abt love.
BUT the love for myself.
My self respect.
ive lost all touch with myself.
ive lost touch looking in the mirror all day.
saying how much im proud of myself.
how much i adore my looks.
how should i make my hair.
will he love me if i did this?.

how i looked out abt my weight& if i could fit in an S.
i could but now im a M/L
sucks huh?
how i would dress when i go out.
if my nails were painted.
if i had enough eye liner on.
which make up suits my face...

now its whatever.
i eat more then i talk.
i worry more then i can think.
i emo more &i cry every other day.
i laugh less.
i sleep more.

i dont care how i look when i go out.
My eye bags are so dark.
my hairs always in a mess.
my skin has bites& bruises.
my face breaks out in rash&acne.
my lips are white and pale.
i dont care if i shower or no.

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?!
it all began in COLLEGE!
worse in TRAINING!

guess my weight now..
??
60++
WTF RIGHT?!

:(:(:(:(:(:(

id tell u in a secret
"when i was in highschool, i use to be suicidal.
id love to cut cut..
then my sister&mom found out.
i got the worst councelling& they placed me under supervision for weeks.."

i stopped that shizz. cos it did make me feel better but
it pulled my self esteem down.
i need self motivation!
i need someone to tell me that they are with me forever.
and HELP ME.

i want to go somewhere random,
the zoo, the beach, the park, the where ever.
somewhere to clear my mind.
some where to make me happy.
somewhere i want to be my self AGAIN.

i think i do wanna take the offer.
im gonna go overseas and never come back.
maybe id be happier there?
i cant take it here.

i hear things in my head.
things that sometimes haunts me.

i stare blank at something.
i forget VERY EASILY.

its so unfair.
i want to cry.
if i could cry everyday.
if that would make me feel better.
i would.
if i could be like you.
if i could be as pretty, skinny& likeable as you.
I WOULD.

its so unfair.
why ARE YOU SO UNFAIR.?

use to look damn funny in primary school onwards.
and i made it a point id do all i can to
be gorgeous.
it came out wth great results.
WHY CANT I DO IT AGAIN?
why cant i starve myself again?
why cant i dress like them?
why cant i look good like them?

urgh!
im sick of this shizz.
i cant take it.
i feel very unwanted.
i feel very sad.
i dont belong here.
i dont belong anywhere.

LEAVE ME ALONE.. PLEASE.
I REALLY WANT TO BE LIKE YOU.

2009-11-21T10:53:00.002+08:00

K.will Feat Mc Mong - Love 119 :)

its a saturday morning.
i might be heading out.
maybe to watch movie or just hang out for 1/2 hr..
then go home.
how sad yeah?

Mom is sick.
dad got drunk the lastnight.
fell face first into the road.
so scary!
i just wonder how did he get home??
he has bruises on his face.
elbow& knee.
WTF?!
but im glad he is home safe
:)

how fast the time is going huh?
its near dec already
hahaha..

ive got healthy food to eat now.
strawberries with cream and yoghurt!
YUM!
imma lose 8kgs b4 the end of this yr.

2009-11-20T21:03:00.000+08:00

Air on G string- Bach..

i really want to be like you.
adored by ppl like you.
said im very pretty&feel very pretty like you.
i want to smile like you.

i wish i was very much like you.

2009-11-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

i want to be like you..

i want to lose weight and be very skinny just like you! :(

2009-11-15T23:04:00.002+08:00

"nothing else i can say."

hey! im back with a new layout.
just problems with the tagboard.
yeesh!
i dunno how.
help?

another one of my neighbour got married.
mmm.. i dont want to get married.
cos i dont want to be controlled.
and i dont want to be like her!
im so tired and bored.
bought a new purse frm Forever21 :D
new shop to start going to..
Cotton ON.
it has similar clothes to forever21.
next shopping trip..
december 1st-31st.

registered for my iphone.
need to finalize everything.
getting it in 1mnths time :(
yeesh! wait that long..
haha

im in the relaxed mood.
imma watch 2012 with
Mr. Isaac tan.
:)

today was a rough day.
i felt safe in church.
sunway was so packed.

skipped work..
dunno if should do again..
yeeee :(

FUCKING HR!
FUCK YOU!
NIKKO HOTEL SUCKS!
BUT THE PPL DONT!
I WANT MY RM20 REFUND!
TAKE THE FUCKING LOCKER KEY BACK.
IMMA DUPLICATE IT! :)
i think im gonna leave a mark in nikko hotel.
so im always remembered :)
ehhehehe

good night :)

2009-11-13T22:52:00.002+08:00

"if your not the one.."

hey, its denise :D

im back.. tumoro is an off day.
YEAH!
well, im dead tired.
was suppose to go to watch 2012..
but my dad killed the mood.
YEEEEEESSH!

lets see,
im dead bored of pastry!
its so boring.
seriously..
but in away makes u proud to see that you've
created something out of NOTHING.
hahaha..
alot of creativity involved.

ive got a mnth left in nikko.
YAY!
but i feel sad cos im gonna miss all of them. :(

hrm.. what else?
yee! i wish i was like you.
tall and sexy?
hahaha...

evrytime i see the pics.
i wish i can be like you.
so lucky.
everyone loves you.
everyone is your friend.

i want to look pretty like you..
its stupid cos i had a "thing"
and now i wnt to be like that person.
hahaha...

i miss so many ppl now.
i miss so many ppl!

including :
benny leong, serra koh, isaac tan, tammy yen, Kaye leong, rhea mariese, kelly su mei, ash luques,
natalia soon francia, Lee suyin, laarnia Rajandran..
yeee.. the ppl i miss the most :(

hmph!
come on
1more month..
next month Chinese kitchen..
how am i gonna survive therE?
i dunno. :(
"denise!, you can do it! dont give up! 1 mnths and ure free :)"

i need to think whats the next step..
but then again. dont think too forward..
one step at a time. :D

2009-11-09T20:45:00.002+08:00

everything i cant be, is everything you should be.

i cant hardly recognize myself in the mirror any more.
ive got eyebags the size of a ...
figure it out.
imma gained weight.
i cant see that slim trim in the mirror anymore.
my hairs grown longer THATS THE BEST THING ABT ME.
my eyes are droopy and i get pale most of the time.
im dead tired.
my whole body is gonna collapse.
but i guess everyone is feeling the same as well.
im still sick. its been 2wks now.
no i dont HAVE H1N1.
FUCK YOU!

*sigh*

ive got 2mnths left.
then ive got to pull myself together again.
this is not good.
i forgot how i use to be.
im starting to hate who i am now..

"at times i love you&hate you at the same time, thats just how love is baybeh."

ugrgh! goodnight..
goondddaaabaaaa! :D
just had to say that.

2009-11-07T23:33:00.001+08:00

just not meant to be. okay?

wasted a whole day.

went pavilion twice today.

both times.
EXTREMELY BORING.

gOOD night.
:)

2009-11-07T10:57:00.001+08:00

i need MY BESTFRIEND.

no not you.
HER.

"im erasing every trace of you from my life.
cos everytime i think of it.
i just get so sad."

i was wrong to call you one of my bestfriends.

2009-11-07T10:47:00.002+08:00

lets go back to the day when we were all happy :)

urgh! im sick.sick.sick. :(
i cant seem to get this flu to go..

well, im bored.

cafe world is getting boring though.
had an event in kdu to attend.
but i woke up late.
and it was over.
HAHAHAH

stupid.
hehe

okay imma go.

:D

2009-11-02T22:16:00.002+08:00

do i give up or do i just keep chasing pavements?

i feel like shit!

HR IS A BITCH!!

im tired. im waiting for him to call me.

so sweet them:)

yeeee! 1yr together i think..
and they are still so sweet :D
hehehehhe

OMG!
yessh! new moon is coming out soon :D
i cant wait! :)
hahahhaha...

im so bored
someone save me please?! :(

2009-11-01T19:29:00.002+08:00

i want 19 of these for my birthday :)

SER!ISAAC! CAN CAN?
PLEASE!?
THANKS!!

im one step behind all of you.
im not gonna get married until i forefill what i missed in my life.
dont say i have everything.
i get jealous almost all the time with everything.everyone.
because i didnt experience it for myself.
ive only had all the material things i wanted in life.
but having true friends and staying up till 5am in the morning.
walking into my hse whatever time i like.
going on a spontaneous vacation.. with a credit card or a ATM filled with cash.
yeah..

you had that.
when will it be my turn?

when will i enjoy what you had.

i dont have all the friends in the world.
i dont dance on table tops and get 300 requests on fb the next day.
i dont get to go out freely without supervision.
i dont get to do anything whenever i want too..

everyone talks abt going parties and drinking and going to random places to celebrate moments.
movies.concerts.open hses.

i wish i was asked to go for such.

LUCKY TO ALL OF YOU.
everyday i sit at home. stare blankly at the computer screen
wishing someone would ask me out.
would say they miss me and would like to catch up.
ohwell,..

i was told i was suppose to be taken to the US to work..
Hawaii to be specific.
i really want this to happen.
a whole new life for me..
maybe i would be happier there.

i really want this to happen.
im willing to leave all i have behind to move on.
im under careful watch here.
there are eyes everywhere i go.
atleast i go there.. i can be myself..
i can enjoy what i missed.
i can grow up on my own.
i can learn to be much more independant.

2009-11-01T13:04:00.002+08:00

idk.. PMS..

well, im sorta depressed.
collecting old fotos frm everywhere i can find.

I GREW FAT!
my skins gone bad.
i have very dark circles under my eyes.

i dont seem to care abt myself and how i look.
i have lost it.
seriously..

i need to pull what i use to be back together again..
i need to care abt myself more :(

i feel so sad..
other then myself..

i cant do anything without supervision..

i cant say i wanna take lrt here or there..

so sad :(

2009-10-30T21:58:00.001+08:00

baby are you down.down.down.down.down..

i am down with the flu :(
bad sore throat :(

2009-10-28T22:50:00.001+08:00

Havent met you yet.

Next week sat is my babys event
imma go..
7AM?? hahaa.
gotta tell my chef to change my off day to sat..

well, cos
i feel im not so very supportive..

so imma try and go! :)

2009-10-27T21:46:00.002+08:00

do you want to start all this again?

imma not want to talk..

My brother is finally in a relationship with her.
thats the happening thing today :)
thats why imma leave you behind and be happy..

hahaha..

stop stalking me please?

2009-10-25T22:23:00.002+08:00

WHAT THE MOTHER F ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

urgh! you are so annoying!

get out of my life..

HELP MS.KOH&MR.TAN!

ANOTHER PEST!
HELP ME GET RID OF IT PLS!

2009-10-25T17:11:00.004+08:00

Everyone says i lost alot of weight compared to when i first came to nikko..

HHAHAHA...

thats good but not good enough..

i made it a point and i hope i will..

imma making sure..
immma eat right, less& healthy!.
ill quit smoking or be a social smoker*uhhum!*
or FUCK THE QUITING! JUST EXERCISE! HAHAH

imma make suree ill jog evry morning and night?
if possible.
i need to see much improvement..
imma heading to be not bones.
but i want to fit into a size S..
Imma M now..
i want S..

i think to my self.
i want to start putting make up..
IMMA try..
but i wonder how would i look?

MY bro's gf has a WONDERFUL fashion sense..
GORGEOUS!
hahaha...

IMMA need to go shopping.
buy clothes, shoes, accessories..
I NEED!
hahahhaha

imma shopaholic..
id die without shopping. :)

hahahha...

okay okay..

im just making sure id have a great and healthy lifee.. :)

2009-10-25T16:49:00.000+08:00

i think im fallin' for you..

AKON IS STAYING AT NIKKO HOTEL!
OMGOSH! IMMA FAINT!!! :) :)

im tired and sleepy..

urgh!
HE IS MINE !
REMEMBER THAT OKAY?
THANKS.

2009-10-24T18:04:00.002+08:00

that 4hrs with you that night was the happiest moment for me.

serious it was.
i wish it didnt end..

hrmm..
now back to reality.

im so sick and tired.

i just dont know..
know whats up in that lil head of mine?
hate&jealousy..

urgh!
My cousin jo.
is much more lucky then me..
My bestfriend.
is much more lucky then me.
My boyfriend.
is much more lucky then me.

why isit like that!

why MUST I GO THRU THIS SHIT WHEN I DIDNT DO ANYTHING!
i wished you just LET GO OFF ME!

I want to walk in and out of the house freely and come home when i please.
i hate this..
i am bloody 18..
pls!

even how much i cry and beg.
you wouldnt understand..
even how much i hurt myself..
you wouldnt understand..

HOW I FEEL!
YOU TELL ME EVERYDAY TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE.
TO GO EXPERIENCE, ENJOY MY LIFE.
BUT HOW CAN I WHEN YOU ARE BREATHING DOWN MY BACK.

HOW CAN I WHEN YOU HAVE GOTTEN ME STRAPPED DOWN TO MY SEAT!

THIS IS NOT FAIR..

WHAT DIDNT I DO?
IM SORRY IF I DIDNT STUDY WELL.
IM SORRY FOR THE HARMLESS MISTAKES I DID IN THE PAST.
IM SORRY FOR NOT LISTENING TO YOU..
BUT I ASSURE YOU IM NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

WHEN HAVE I NOT ONCE DISOBEYED YOU TELLING ME WHERE TO GO AND WHAT TTIME TO COMEHOME.

everything i do..
is to just to make you happy.
EVEN IF IM NOT HAPPY.
EVEN IF IM SUFFERING FOR IT!
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU HAPPY..

BUT I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I CANT TAKE THIS LIFE.
IM TOO OVER PROTECTED.
I FEEL SO BAD FOR MYSELF.
I FEEL SO ANGRY..

I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY!
WHY ISIT LIKE THAT?

BECAUSE I LOOK VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST!?
I WISH I DIDNT!
I WISH I LOOKED ORDINARY..
SO I COULD SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE AND WORRY..

I CAN SCREAM, SHOUT, THROW TANTRUM BUT NOTHING WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND.
I CAN CRY, HURT MYSELF BUT NOTHING WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND..

ALL I ASK IS TO LET ME GO!
PLEASE..

I PROMISE ILL BE GOOD.

I PROMISE ILL BE GOOD.

I PROMISE ILL BE GOOD.

love,
denise.

2009-10-22T16:06:00.001+08:00

im gonna miss you,
but ive gotta get a move on with my life..
its time to be a big girl now,
and big girls dont cry.

MR ISAAC& MS SERRA..
WHERE ARE YOU!?

I NEED YOU THE MOST!
MY BESTEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD.
NO ONE CAN COMPARE TO THEM.

I MISS THEM SO MUCH!
SO MUCH!
AND I NEED THEM! I REALLY NEED THEM!

2009-10-22T16:00:00.000+08:00

im single and ready to mingle :)

2009-10-22T15:34:00.002+08:00

you will always be my baby..

i hope you know, this has nothing to do with you.
its personal.
with myself and i.

why?
you will know why sooner or later.

my mom says im very screwed up.
she is telling me that id only realize when he takes me for granted.
and she is saying that its not worth anything..

urgh!
why is things so screwed up!
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!
YOU DONT WANT ME TO B WITH HIM ANYMORE.

should i make you happy ?

urgh!
okay fuck this.

i DONT NEED THIS SHIT ANYMORE!

2009-10-20T22:20:00.002+08:00

"if you leave me tonight,
ill wake up alone.
dont tell me i will make it on my own,
dont leave me tonight.
this heart of stone will sink till it dies,
if you leave me tonight."

dont you know my heart is pumping,
its putting out the fire.
thinking everything is alright..

eh hello!

goodnight.
ive got nothing to tell you.
goodnight..

2009-10-20T00:49:00.002+08:00

sometimes i get to think..

will you be with someone else?
how will that be?

will i be able to face the fact?

i dont like that..
i get threatened most of the time
cos i think someone is gonna take my place.
but even better..

i get scared that im gonna get my third phase of
karma.

but i didnt do anything wrong.
he did!
why did i get the karma.

i wouldnt feel easy even if im told everyday..
until i have settledown..
then i believe that the someone is mine.
yeah..

thats how i work..
thats how i put it..

when you are young and in love..
love is not so true YET!
cos everyday there is a selection of choices..
if the love is not true..
one of the choices are your replacements.
if the love is..
forever and ever i say...

arguements are a VERY bad issue..
it tends to ruin relationships rather then working things out..
which depends.
cos one day you are just gonna get so sick of it
and walk off..
You dont need this shit..
you are not commited YET!
but if you got the patience and work things out..
that is how much you love the person and is willing to do anything to keep that person
not selfishly but with an open mind and heart..

there is a certain stage in a relationship which is to the point where everything starts to get harder.
sacrifices need to be made, love needs to be taken to the next level..
understanding and LOTS OF PATIENCE is needed..
a true TEST for the both of you..

if you fail this test..
its sad but a good experience to endure.
if you succeed,
maybe it wasnt lust or pupplove after all..

"love is patient,
and kind, it is not jealous
or conceited or proud;
love is not ill mannered
or selfish or irritable;
love does not keep a
record of wrongs;
love is not happy with evil
but happy with the truth.
love never gives up;
and its faith, hope and patience
neve fail."
-1 corinthians 13: 4-7-

so true..
i hope my love will never fail..
i hope.
i need to believe everything is okay..
im very scared..
of everything..

i cant lose him.
neither am i good at fighting for him..

2009-10-20T00:00:00.003+08:00

ive decided to be self-obsessed for a while cos my blog seems so boring.

see how beautiful this is..

hi urgh!!! yeah i decided to be self obsessed..
but not like you bitch.
i dont pose every sec.
i dont wear make up
and fake eye lashes.

yeah..
i just have random shots of mybestfriends&i.

like you do have?
fuck off thanks!

well, went to kdu today.
felt safe..

went breakfast with benny and his friend.
it was okay lah.
nothing much.

then Mr. isaac tan comes.
chat chat..

waited for princess Serra then..
went to sunway..
MORE TALKING!

LOTS TO CATCH UP WITH THEM.
like 3mnths im gone and im flooded with problems..
ahahahhaha....

i love them lah! seriously...

then ser needed to go back coll cos got class.. sent her
and met isaac in tropicana mall.
first time going there.
kinda impressed...

yeah..
sat in starbucks and talk some more.
had a serious talk going home..

then yeah.. thats abt it..

i missed my 2 best friends.
all i need is them and im fine!
they make me laugh&smile&scream&shout&be myself.

honestly, i dont have a big gang but i have a few close friends
that ill never let go...

never..
yeah..

SERRA KOH YEN LI..
ISAAC TAN ENG WAN..
RHEA MARIESE PEREIRA..
DIONG SIEW YEN, TAMMY..
LEE SUYIN..
ASHWENI CAROLINE LUQUES..
JUSTIN LEE..
BENNY LEONG..

yeah the only people that understand me, i hope.

i love them lots!
:) hrmmmm....

today i have been told alot of things..
given alot of advices from the both of them..

thanks you two monkeys.
i appreciate it ALOT!

ill think abt what you said..
ill try to make more time for the both of you..
serra, i can meet you anytime b4 u go aussie.
IM COMING WITH YOU! REMEMBER THAT!
I JUST NEED TO GET WHAT I WANNA STUDY OR WORK AS STRAIGHTENED OUT..

Isaac, You might be leaving to switz in jan.
PLS DONT GO! but yeah ill try to make even more time for you...

so okay,
thats about it.

im so jealous of you..
im sorry but i am..

i wish i could be like that...

langkawi trip next yr..
planning..
i want to go alone actually...

my dad told me to leave my boyfriend behind..
since he always left me when he went to holidays....

i wouldnt do that..
im not that bad.
unless i have no choice..

yeah.
okay?

hahahahhahaa...
urgh! stress stress!
i like my blog.
thanks!

2009-10-18T18:11:00.002+08:00

day 4&1/2 without you..

"i know you cant stay. so i wont be waiting, anticipating for the fall."

dont mind the stupid picture.
hahahahaha

goodmorning,

well your home so i dont need to update abt my day.
okay.

good night.

i love,missed you.

2009-10-17T19:12:00.004+08:00

what am i to do?

i dont fit anywhere near you..
i start to think to myself. its just like we are not 1 but 2.. yeah.
dont hate me for thinking like that. cos its just me..

i dont know who is talking.

isit pms or isit me denise urgh! i dont belong together with you in your life. i only belong in your seperate life. but its okay with me. cos then again. i dont have to try so hard. i dont want to.. changed you too much.. uve turned into someone. i adore but i dont know anymore. this is a stupid post. i just dont know what to do anymore...

monday im going coll to see my friends.
cos i really miss them. and i need them.
specifically..
3 of em.
but 1 of em is too busy with her own life.
ive got others but i wanna see the two of them.
i miss them so much! so so very much!
URGH! IM SO LIFELESS..

I MISS YOU SERRA KOH YEN LI, ISAAC TAN ENG WAN AND RHEA MARIESE PERIERA.
i miss tammy, dian, ash..

I MISS ALL OF YOU SO MUCH! SO SO SO MUCH! :(

2009-10-17T18:14:00.002+08:00

day 3 without you...

goodmorning baby,

was late for work today..
workworkwork.

got home..
eat.. now online..

goodafternoon baby..

goodnight baby.

im sorry i have nothing to tell you..
nothing interesting..
plus imma so lazy to write a whole grandmother story of my day.
yes i did it for 2 days.

besides you are coming home tumoro..
so yeah..

alrite..
i miss,love you.

how are you?
fine?
GOod.
:)

btw, im so sorry but
happy anniversary.
yes i admit i forgot...
i forgot abt it all day..
i only realized it 2 mins ago when everything i saw was
17..

im sorry baby.
i love u.

2009-10-16T21:06:00.001+08:00

day 2 without you...

goodmorning baby,
i woke up at 6.30 was so late
but managed to reach at 6.58.
hahahha

got dressed and had my usual
1cig.
went straight up to the nikko lounge.
IT WAS DEAD THERE!
ONLY 4GUESTS PLUS THE DIRECTORS OF NIKKO HOTEL.
urgh!

i walked arnd and arnd...
i noticed that one of the managers were watching PORN! WTF RIGHT?!

so yeah.
cleared up.
went down to eat...

then back up to work..
2.55 i was done with everything.
got dressed.
left and waited for dad a while..

went home then had lunch
and a nap..
ahhahahhaha

its pouring so heavily here..
grrrawwrr!

i love you..
i miss you...

take care.

btw, how are you?
hope u doing okay?
have u eaten?

hahaha..
so lame..

okay
10.54 now,
goodnight baby..

and your cafe is fine.
doing great..
im neglecting mine cos im taking care of ures.
imma goona close down my cafe soon..
so lazy..

2009-10-15T22:45:00.001+08:00

i see you online.

i thought someone was playing a cruel joke on me.

im happy!

2009-10-15T20:50:00.002+08:00

Day 1 without you..

"stay close, dont go."

hey baby,
good morning.
a total update from morning till night..

i woke up early,
i went to work at abt 6.30am..
i thought i was gonna be late..
on the way smsing you..

i miss you already baby.
well, reached nikko.
got dressed and had my 1 morning cig.
which im getting worried.
it hurts now when i inhale..
cough alot.

went to the coffeehse.
EMPTY! TOTALLY!
hahahha...
then up to nikko lounge.
LAGI EMPTY!
guests starts coming at errrmmm...
8-9.. hahaha..
but only like 1 or 2 lah.

clear the lounge and eat at the same time.
hahaha...
went down to have lunch..
EAT SOMEMORE!
hahaha..
smoked with SITI.
she was so stressed so i tooked her to the Sz.
everyone was shocked to see her there cos
as far as they know she dont smoke hahhaa..

went back to the kitchen..
me and wei kuan had things to do..
go up down up down.
2nd flr urgh!
then Chef asked us to help malay kitchen.
today last day of hari raya or something..
so had to help prepare satay&other food for
1000++ pax.

OMGOSH!
haha.
then rushed home with wei kuan.
dad was waiting for me.. sweating like crazy in the car.
then we buy food..
got home, eat then sleep.
so tired.
woke up at 8pm.
shower.
but i had trouble breathing.
very pain!
coughing like mad.
how? how?
im scared lah.

so now is 9.35pm
waiting for ure food to finish cooking..
then i set up for u...
then make more food for u.
no worries baby.
ill take care of ure cafe..

i wonder how are u doin?
this is the first time i have not spoken to you all day..
nvm i know u are fine.
eaten well and all that..
i miss you darling.

pls take care okay.
i worry.

i love you baby,
goodnight.

2009-10-14T23:40:00.001+08:00

two hearts are better then one.

im feeling bitchy.

go die lah idiot.

btw, imma miss u baby.
pls take care...

2009-10-12T21:14:00.002+08:00

"i feel lonely every single day of my life."

"cos i dont wanna make the same mistakes again, i dont wanna fall back down on my face again."

hei!
im tired..
i wanna go to bed though.

im gonna be alone for 4days...
cos my other is going out on a trip.
:)
everyday i think to myself.
i DONT wnt him to go.
i dont know why...

urgh!
pls keep him safe..
please!
thank You.

"one moment its love, next thing you know its a battlefield."

hrm, im confused.
i really dont know why.
i feel like im being cheated off something.
but im just tired and cranky..
anything goes thru that small brain of mine..

okay goodnight. i cnt take this.

2009-10-11T23:23:00.002+08:00

"things that i miss."
its time for me to go..

dont miss me...
ill come back someday.

Saturday is public holiday!
hahaha...
i think might be going out somewhere then :)

ermm..
im so bored and tired.
i want to cry haha..

tumoro work at 7am :)

okay. goodnight.

2009-10-09T21:33:00.004+08:00

"that's all part of the list, things that i miss."

greetings!
from the anonymous Girlfriend.
yeeeks :)

i looked through lots of pictures of the past.
Old pictures lah.

i feel sad.
i miss MY friends.
i MISS EVERYTHING!

:(

eh wth lah you?
can you stop appearing.??!
im not invisible know.

lots of events ive been thru ups and downs.
highs&lows?

ive felt anger,happiness, sadness, jealousy, hate.
yeah.

i have smiled when i was with you.
i have cried when we fought.
i have gotten jealous over stupid things.
i have hated the wrong ppl for the wrong reasons.

i have experienced a road trip outta civilization.
i have had a perfect birthday for the first time.
i experienced a sweet valentines..
i have played truant atleast many times :)

i have not been very honest with myself.
i have not been a good person.
i have let go everything that i use to do b4.
i have stopped caring abt myself&what i do.
cos i just cant seem too.

thats where my parents come in.
thats where they start worrying.
everyday is a..
"why dont u wanna care for ureself? why do you do this to yourself.?"
i just have no time& im so tired okay?

besides nobody does care abt how i look right?
yeah. so just leave me alone.
if i dont wanna sleep early..its me.
if i dont wanna eat alot..its me.
if i dont wanna dress nice..its me.
if i dont wanna smile.. LET ME BE!

i dont fit anywhere at work.
i dont fit with the chinese because i cant speak Mandarin or Canton'
they give me this look and tell me YOU SHOULD LEARN!
like imma useless.
i dont fit in with the malays
cos I CANT SPEAK.
and they make fun of me.
i dont fit in with the girls cos it seems they all have an issue with me.
ppl only talk to me cos i look like a foreigner.
ppl only talk to me cos i got a pretty face.
ppl only talk to me cos they think they will get popular seen with me.

sad really,
i hate this!
i feel sad at work.
they all ask me to smile.
but im always alone.
2more months i need to get thru this.
i dont blame God for any of this.
its all me. my fault!
uselss being, takes up space in the world.

why lah?
i watched this chinese movie abt some stupid couples&cheating.
its so lame.
they cry over nothing!
and their bf ran off with someone else.
urgh!

i tell you ah.
i may be one of em.
but i try to think not.
i dont mind.
i can share..
but just dont see me anymore lah.
hahahha..

okay imma go.
eyes are heavy.
goodnight.

2009-10-08T21:48:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY eye-c4ndy!

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY 3YRS OLD :)

2009-10-08T18:44:00.002+08:00

"there is only one happiness in life,to love and be loved.....nw im filled with happiness!!!....thx baby"
-benny leong (march o7')-

try to take a picture of love,
didnt think id miss him that much.
i wanna fill this new frame,
but its empty?

maybe we're trying, trying too hard.
maybe we're torn apart?

idk. but i love you..

"you always know how to make me smile, laugh& be happy. I LOVE YOU BB!"
-denise woon(march o7')-

2009-10-08T17:14:00.002+08:00

"the best thing abt to night is that we're not fighting."

hey, im back cos ive got nothing better to talk abt .
works a bitch!
the Training manager is THE bitch!
AHAHAH.

im dead tired everyday.
coffeehouse is interesting
i had a bad accident yesterday.
i slipped and fell,
my knee and thigh is bruised!

ermerm..
there is this awkward tradition
in Nikko..
when trainees have their last day.
all the staff will chase the trainee arnd
with flr,water,eggs,stock,sauce,etc..
whatever they can find.
and throw it at em.
this month is the oct batch turn.
mine is the dec batch.
uhoh!
hahaha
but imma join this food/water fight :)
hahahah

why do u think im always upset?
*sigh*
and again. here we go?

pfft..

anyway, ermm..
i wanna go tenji!
i wanna go look out point.
i wanna go genting!
i wanna go to the beach!

someone bring me! hahhahahaha

i want an iphone too.
preeease!
someone buy for me.

:)

imjealousofu.
u so lucky!
gorgeous.
and everything.

ta... imma go.
my cafe sucks is calling out for me :)

2009-10-07T01:32:00.001+08:00

i feel some what left out.

idk why.

im so jealous of you.
can you just go away.
thank you..

i wanna be just like you.
im trying too..
i wish i could.

2009-10-07T00:51:00.002+08:00

meet me half way.

on the 8th of october 2006.
eye-c4ndy.blogspot.com was born..

created to put in feelings and let them out.
somehow to make an ex-boyfriend stealer..
who turned out to be a good friend.
to SHUT THE FUCK UP!

anyhoo.

im kinda bored with work.
same routine EVRYDAY FOR 1 MNNTH!
mmm...
its drawing closer to the end..
im getting slighlty worried.
cos im gonna suffer in a "foreign kitchen"
for 1mnth the last and final month.

yeah.
so my moods been pretty much screwed.
up and down. up and down.
im tired.

and ive been constantly been getting sick alot.

i just realized how much i dislike someone..
whom i liked for yrs.
sounds awkward?
mmmhmm..
it just got to me.
and i dont want part of that persons life anymore.

okay i guess thats it..

sat is birthday celebration for my sister.
happy birthday NANA.

happy belated bday to JON&PRASHANTI.

good night.:)

2009-10-05T08:16:00.000+08:00

i was browsing thru the newspapers at work and i saw this..

someone pls bring me there?
You?YOu?you? thank you?? :)

btw, im home sick.
work is so tiring.
i miss having a life.
lucky you.
im jealous.
hahahaha

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2009-09-30T22:04:00.002+08:00

"even if the sky is falling down."

im dead tired!
i wanna sleep
and im sick!
AGAIN!
FUCK NO!

tumoro work at 7am-3pm.
tired lah!!!

but i have to go thru this.
yeesh..

okay imma go to bed now.
night.

2009-09-26T11:10:00.002+08:00

watch this vid. the song is awesome.

hrmm..
tired
work at 1pm :)
hahaha..

ehhh..
happy belated arthurs day?
hehehe

hehehehe...

okay imma go now.
nothing much to write.

im tired.
jealousofu.
imma go now.

ta :)
update later.

2009-09-24T22:43:00.001+08:00

"Baby, it's better, and I want you, to be happy.
Sometimes people find that it's so hard just to say goodbye."

im bored.
im jealousofu.
im tired.
imma sleep now
goodnight.

2009-09-23T15:47:00.002+08:00

blogging at work

thats how bored i am!
hahahahahha

nothing to do.
sit at the chefs office and online..

facebook.youtube.
URGH!!!
I WANNA GO HOME!

2009-09-22T01:10:00.003+08:00

"why'd you have to take my love?"

i was thinking.
and my brain could only come up with this.
i have never been to a place with him that we both randomly can come up with.
its always home,movie,home, movie..

nothing much random that we both can really enjoy.
its sad really..

i took a good look at my pictures and his.
it seems he has been more places without me.
and i have been...
well, most pics are taken in my room.
hahaha...

i feel bad sometimes.
yeah im a lil boring.. i have no time for you.
but i try to make time.

im not like them "best #1 gf" blah blah.
yeah what a way to rub it in BITCH!
i dont stick next to you 24/7 cos i
honestly think thats creepy.

half of our day is built with arguements.
and it usually stops when we are abt to go to bed.

i try to stay away at times by occupying myself with random and
brainless chores..
so that you would have a good taste of that man freedom.
sounds stoopid. its good.
experience&enjoy.
but ends with heated arguements between you and i cos
you dont like this.
and i hated that.

sigh.

i dont know why i came up with this.
makes me laugh to myself.

wtf? hahaha...

but now,
for 5mnths.. im busy.
i dont care and i have that relief that he is out and enjoying.
dont get me wrong.
i dont care is a strong word.
lets just say,
i have other things to deal with.
im only 18 and im heading into my career FAST!

the least i want is he telling me he needs space.
i dont let him breathe.
im always with him 24/7 blah blah.

avoiding that.
i heard that once and it was a blow to the heart seriously.

try not to make the same mistakes i did.
i regret so much.
i havent enjoyed my life yet.
and i jumped in too fast.
wrong decisions after another.

i cant turn back now,
i cant find a way out.
what i do now,
is what i am tomorrow.

enjoy your life, live, learn, love.
cos you make one lil mistake its diffi to find a way out..

pheeeww! enough of this emo shnitzz..
im not angry,sad,emo.
i just thought of it..

nice? hahaha...
i wanna go to that park somewhere arnd curve
where ppl fly kites and have lunch.
ermmm..
i dont know whts it called.
hahaha

alright
GOODNIGHT!

2009-09-21T13:31:00.002+08:00

hey ho!
my fingers hurt due to long guitar practices.
yeesh..
hahaha..

i think im heading out later.

family outing.
im so bored :(

nothing much been going on..
errrmmm.....
tooodals!
pfffhahaha.. hahah

2009-09-21T01:30:00.002+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya!

im so bored at home.
but i like the sleep :)
learning how to play guitar.
yesh!

im jealous.
i wanna going holiday.
after 5mnths.
ill take a LONGGG VACA.
away from civilization.
hehe..

im hungry i want to eat
all those good food.

so whats my stats now?
breathable, relaxed, hungry :)
sleepy.
hehehehehhe.....

okay good night.
mmhm :)

2009-09-19T12:16:00.002+08:00

post without picture...

i love all this photography&glitter graphics thing.
i found it on my darling talia's blog.
and a few other websites.

sorry dear.
it looked so good. :)

my baby went to thailand :(
im left here alone for 3days.
lonely days :(

i dont get to have him everyday.
i dont know why.
i only spend an hr 1/2 with him when i get to see him.
sucks right?

i envy ppl who get to spend time for hours.

but then again.
i want my baby to spend time with his parents..
they miss him as much as i do.

hehe..
so cute..

DARN YOU!
SELF OBSESSED!

oh well, last day of work b4 my so called "long" hols.
hahaha

3days aswell,
sunday,monday,tuesday.
heeeee....

alright.
ta you..

2009-09-18T12:05:00.002+08:00

"Day&night"
kid cudi
[crookers remix.]

everyone is on holiday.
this sucks.
im only 18.
i should be having holiday now.
going places and enjoying myself.
but i chose to start early,
to work early.

they say im ruining myself.
my life.

haha. i dont know what to say.
i regret.
and im jealous.
just 5mnths.
but i didnt get to enjoy with my friends.
i didnt do what i wanted when i was at coll.
now i will be done in 3mnths time.
ill be graduating.
ill be thinking of work.
and id be what 19?
this sucks.

Oh well,
too late for regrets now.

ill do what i can.
and hope that i would
not let them down.

everyone gets a 1wks hols..
i get a 3day hol..
wtf? right.
sucks!

2009-09-18T00:54:00.002+08:00

i didnt know, i swear.

what made me feel bad.
what made me feel sorry..

i was so stupid.
i didnt mean too.

im so sorry..

i didnt know you had that.
i dont know how i got into it.
it just showed up on my Blogger and i was shocked.

i didnt know i hurt you back then
i made you like that back then
and walk away thinking it was okay.

if i could take it all back.
i would.
if i could take back all the arguing and fighting of meaningless things.
i would.
if i could turn back time to make it right, turn everything that went wrong right.
i would..

you see,
i cant live without you even if i tried.
i cant function even if you left me for a toiletbreak.

thats how much i love you.
it breaks my heart to see you hurt.
it hurts me more to hurt you.

i am so sorry.
pls forgive me.

i have not been the "best" gf you dreamed of having.
well, i was.. untill i started letting go of the world, you, myself.
pls help me snap out of this nightmare.
i want to be happy with you forever.

but what is worth my baby,
im trying really hard to make it right.
maybe you dont see it.
cos i notice im not trying as hard.
but ill do my best.

believe me,
pls trust me.?

i love you baby.

always and forever baby.
im with you.

Mr. Leong Chun hoo.

2009-09-16T23:23:00.002+08:00

"let's get on the ferris wheel, hope we get stuck on the top. I want this to last forever."

"waiting for your call,
im sick,
call..
im angry,
call..
im desperate for your voice."

to make you mine,
stay with me tonight..

harrrlo! day 3 of the killer food poisoning.
grrrrawwrrr! i want this to go away.
i feel like puking.
GET ME A BUCKET!

i miss you.

fall for you remember that song?
it was your favourite song.
you'd always sing it to me.

im sorry for yesterday.
sometimes i need you to snap me out of what ever shit imma in.
thankssshooo baby.

i love you.

im tired.
waiting for 12am.

17.09.09
2yrs&a half..

goodnight you.

2009-09-15T21:19:00.002+08:00

tired :(

2009-09-14T21:57:00.002+08:00

food poisoning.

urgh! i feel very not the good.
ive got work tumoro.
this sucks.

im just not in the mood.
im sorry.

goodnight.

2009-09-14T19:45:00.002+08:00

ive got some sort of stomach problem.
it makes me feel like throwing up.
do i have food poisoning?
it hurts
that i feel like throwing up.
i have a very bad headache.
i skipped work cos of something.
i hope this goes away by tumoro.
its very painful!
:(:(:(

watch this movie
"butterfly on a wheel."
its a nice movie with Gerard Butler..
its all abt cheating..
urgh! hahaha...

okay i really dont feel so good now.
im heading to dinner then to bed.
i need you.

2009-09-13T01:32:00.002+08:00

"lets just hope its worth the fall."

i just got back from watching the gamer.
its aweeesomeee! Gerard Butler is so fckin' hot!
second to benny leong.. third to Robert pattinson..
sorry! :)

hahahha...

so yeah.
im tired!
a days of no work(well, sorta.)

8hrs of standing
yeesh!

tumoro got church..
haha. how to get up..

well, i enjoyed today.
at work and with my family and baby.
hrmmm..

i WANNA GO SHOPPING!
SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE ME! THANKS! :)

2009-09-12T00:09:00.003+08:00

"There are moments when I don't know if it's real, Or if anybody feels the way I feel.
I need inspiration, Not just another negotiation."

hey!

lately ive been tired.

im sorry im not a self obsessed person so i dont really like putting up pics of myself.
lately,ive been happy.

i need some inspiration man!
i havent been out alot.
its always work.home.work.home.
maybe sometimes i detour out for a good movie or fast quick dinner.
then its HOME.

urgh!
3more months denise.
you can do this.

next month is gonna be hell.
no doubt i enjoy it there friends are superb.
i have a magnet stuck somewhere on me.
hahaha

today the staff got their hari raya "ang pau"
adddui!!!
i wan also!!
RM 200 MAN!!

:( sadly i was told trainees dont get :(
cheap labour.
work our ass but dont get "ang pau."

yeeesh!

nikko lounge is the bomb.
im getting used to the guys there.
they're funny.
boring but peaceful.

i take a look down at the world on the 26th floor.
i saw a couple having a GREEEATT TIME!
hahaha

then the guys come..
one by one!

they say: "GASPPP!!!! OMG!!!!! SEXXX!!!!! DONT SEEEE... 21SXXXXXXXXX"

i go: "Fuck you! thats 2 guys lah! OH WAIT! OH NO! WTF!!!!."

hahaha :)
funny:)

tumoro is the end of the week.
and im off on sunday :)
YIPEEEEE!

i wanna go somewhere nice!
somewhere special.
urgh!!
im PENNYLESS!

someone save me please?

i havent gone shopping..
well, i have bought shoes& a bag at a bargain..

okay the bag:
@tangs,pavilion.
price : RM179
discount: 50%
tangs member card: RM4 DISCOUNT.
total: RM49!
i think i cant remember. haha
hahahha...

shoes:
@vincci,pavilion:
price: RM 49&45
discount: 3o%each.(60%)
total: RM 56.40

hahah

okay nvm i cant remember what it was..
but yeah. its cheap..

errrrmm..

i wanna buy clothes!
dresses!
more SHOES!
AND BAGS!

imma re-dye my hair.
imma go on a holiday.
please dont spoil it for me.

thanks.

okay will update tomorrow :)
yikes! night you.

2009-09-08T23:23:00.002+08:00

music is my love.

hey,
im back!
tough but interesting day at work.
i hurt my leg

im tired and lifeless.

please someone take me out.
somewhere nice.

a party where i can see all my friends.
i restaurant where i can enjoy good food.
not food that was pre-made and dry.

to a movie where i can enjoy the feel of being around smellyfat ppl
and the comfort of the darkness.
hahaha...

somewhere where i can relax.
be happy. dress nice.
ENJOY!

sigh!
lifeless 5mnths.
and after this 5mnths.
i dunno if id be lifeless for EVER!

hrmm...
yeah..

shall i start all my emoness again.
shall i start all my nonsense again?
urgh! to tired to do so.

IM BORED AND FRIENDLESS!
SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE ME!

:(
okay good night ppl.

2009-09-05T22:44:00.001+08:00

ROBERT PATTINSON IS SO FUCKING!! HOT!!!!!!!!!

THATS WHAT I THINKKK

GUHHHH! :)

"evacuate the dancefloor
I'm infected by the sound
stop, this beat is killing me
Hey Mister DJ let the music take me underground"

hi! i told you ill be back..
well, today is an okay day at work.
they all spoke to me.
so nice ppl :)

kinda..
hahahha

my chef was being funny by telling me jokes and all.
i being too logic.
spoilt it and he laughed at me..

malu!

well, yeah.
its okay.
so whats new?
eeehhhhRrrmmm?
im tired.
i thank GOD tumoro is an off day :)
i get to wear my purrrrttyy dress :D

hehehee..
ehh..
i dunno if im going shopping tumoro but i dont wanna waste my purrrttty dress.
next week i get off days :)
YES!
2 INFACT!
YESYES!
hahahahha

"ill eat you up! so yumyum,
cant get enough.
i think im in love."

2009-09-05T11:56:00.002+08:00

21 guns- Greenday.

hey hello!

working in an hrs time.
im so bored and TIRED!
yeeee...
ehhh
so.. i have been craving for really good japanese food.
dont talk abt my hotel.
it actually SUCKS!
hahahahha...

ive been thinking abt this place that my darling serra been telling me abt
tenji? is that whats it called.
im not sure where isit.
maybe ill ask that MONKEY
to take me there..
after 10 or something.
hahahhaa

bring me there babe!
:) we'll enjoy!
then shisha after :D
hehehehe

its a date!
u, me, rhea, and i-suck! haha
he has been asking abt u lots.
dunno why lah!

i miss my bestfriends.
okay imma going noww..

update later :)

2009-09-04T18:45:00.001+08:00

battlefield- jordan sparks

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield

One word turns into a war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands, tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like

Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your

We could pretend that we are friends tonight
(Oh, oh, oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
'Cause baby, we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
(Fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?

I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor

Why does love always feel like?
Why does love always feel like?
A battlefield, a battlefield

I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for

2009-09-04T18:08:00.002+08:00

i think im falling for you.

harlo everyone.
i have been dead tired for weeks, days, A MONTH!
hahahhahaha..
i didnt go to work cos i couldnt careless and im tired.

well,
ivee been happy for a couple of days, weeks now.
and i feel very good abt it :)

some fear says
it will get back to the same old.
but a part of me is not letting that happen.

i hope it hurts fine.

last month i had a morning shift.
this month is an afternoon shift.
urgh!

i was hit on my several men.
some oold
some okay.
YUCK!

hahahha..

well, im tired.
my eyes cant barely open.
im heading to my bed for a nap. :)

night.